Now they say: 50 is the new 30. Indeed, in general, women look much better than two generations ago. They take care of themselves, use good cosmetics, and play sports.
But even the nicest and most cheerful people are worried about their age. Some people worry that they can no longer please men. It is difficult for some to start new global projects or change jobs. Some people are afraid of helplessness in old age. How to live and not constantly think about age?
We talked about this topic with Marina Melia, professor of psychology, author of seven books on psychology, from business success to raising children. You cannot find a better expert on the topic of age than Marina Melia.
And not just because she looks great at 73. At 51, she started her own business, and six months ago she started Instagram, where she already has 150 thousand subscribers. She is also called a coach to billionaires, and she herself modestly says: “It so happened that most of my clients became members of the Forbes list.”
El Macpherson, 57
Is it normal when you are, say, 45, but in your heart you feel like you are 25?
Anything that does not harm other people is normal. And the fact that you feel 25 and even 18 is wonderful. But if we want to understand our own condition and attitude towards life, then it is better to ask ourselves the following question: “Why and why do I want to be 25 years old? Why do I want to feel like I'm 18?"
Ask yourself: why am I so drawn to this age, what is so attractive there, why do I want to be there? This alone will give answers to many things and allow you to better understand your thoughts and feelings. When we understand the essence of something, it is easier for us to live with it later.
In general, age is a very significant category. They often say: age doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a number in a passport, it doesn’t matter how old I am... But this, of course, is not at all true. See what question we ask first when we are told about a person we don’t know. How old is he? Then - what does he do, where is he from, what city, what family, etc. But the first question in 90% of cases is about age.
Jane Fonda, 83
Treatments
Taking proper care of the skin of your body and face will help you feel young. Care procedures should be regular, using natural-based products. Using cosmetics without parabens, allergens, and chemicals will make your body healthy inside and out.
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Research shows that 15 mg of beta-carotene per day makes skin glow. To do this, you need to drink a low-calorie drink:
- Finely chop 200 g of cabbage.
- Peel and chop 2 kiwis.
- Squeeze half a glass of orange or tangerine juice.
- Chop a bunch of cilantro and celery root.
- Beat all ingredients in a blender.
- Add ice cubes before serving.
Skin rejuvenation
Regular facial care is not just a pleasant, relaxing procedure. It stops skin aging. With constant care using natural remedies or masks, the face will look renewed - circles under the eyes and pigmentation will disappear. Tips for rejuvenating and protecting your skin:
- Moisturize your face and body with creams that contain hyaluronic acid or glycerin. They retain water and stop the appearance of wrinkles.
- Use zinc-based sunscreen lotions or creams regularly. This will save you from the harmful effects of ultraviolet radiation, stop premature aging, the formation of spots, and prevent skin cancer.
- Apply an antioxidant serum before bed. The substances in its composition actively fight free radicals, which destroy DNA and accelerate the onset of old age.
- Wear clothing that protects from ultraviolet radiation - trousers, long-sleeved shirt, wide-brimmed hat. It has been proven that even in cloudy weather, up to 80% of the rays penetrate the skin.
- Pamper your body with a massage. Age is especially noticeable when your back, shoulders or lower back hurt. Massage sessions eliminate discomfort, relax the body, which increases performance and improves sleep.
The right perfume
A well-chosen perfume helps you become young at 50. Participants in one study applied grapefruit scent to their skin. This reduced their sense of age by 5 years. Wear citrus-based perfume.
A well-chosen scent creates a rejuvenating effect and makes you feel like you have lost several years.
Is it possible to deceive old age?
No deception leads to anything good. Deception is always a tension that has a destructive effect on our psyche and health. We are afraid of exposure. We often see that women, for example, hide the fact that they have grandchildren. They don’t want to talk about the age of their children, because it will immediately become clear how old they really are.
Previously, when people were simpler, they simply called the age 10–15 years younger. Now they have started to prepare, do a lot of work, constantly change something, correct it on Instagram. Why is this happening? From anxiety, from the fact that we do not want to acknowledge reality.
Stop, just a moment!
Often, behind the reluctance to admit your age, there is a feeling that you have not had time to do something truly important, and life is already ending. This is not so much about missed opportunities, but about the fact that life was not lived for yourself, but, for example, for the sake of children or for the sake of work, but not the way you would like.
In addition, when a person does not want to admit that he is getting older every year and that much of what he once did is no longer possible for him, this indicates that he does not want to accept himself for who he is, and mentally tries to return himself to the past. Instead of taking advantage of the benefits of middle age, such people try not to notice the passage of time. As a rule, this is a consequence of the widespread belief that youth is one of the main advantages of a person.
In fact, the older a person is, the more experience and knowledge he has, and therefore more opportunities. And by trying to deny your true age, you are depriving yourself of all these benefits.
Article on the topic
Old age is a joy. Five reasons for optimism This does not mean that you do not need to take care of your appearance and take care of your health, it just means that it is time to give up the illusion that youth is always better than maturity.
What if a woman aged 40+ wears a mini?
Ask yourself what image do you want to build? How to present yourself? There are two clearly defined types - Barbie and Lady. Mini, bikini, topless photos - this is the image of Barbie.
Some famous people immediately appear, trying to cling to their not even 25, but 15 years. And they actively defend this position: they say, why can’t I wear a mini at my age? Of course you can, if you really want to be like Barbie in your 50s, 60s, 70s.
But the image of the lady is completely different. A pencil skirt below the knees, no bare legs or arms, expensive fabric, noble tones. Jacqueline Kennedy and Kate Middleton immediately come to mind.
By the way, let me remind you where the mini skirt came from. Mary Quant, the owner of a clothing store in London, came to visit a friend and saw that she was washing the floor. But she did not tuck the skirt, as is usually done, but cut it off. Mary had a good marketing sense, and within a week she had short skirts on mannequins in her store. That's how they became popular.
Celine Dion, 53
How to stop being afraid of old age and start living for your own pleasure?
The fear of old age has an official name - gerontophobia. It is clear that no one rejoices in old age; it is better to be young and healthy than old and sick. But there is a good expression: everyone is given life, but not everyone is given old age.
The more active you live, the longer you maintain good shape, performance, and the ability to do something good for others. And to have all this, you don’t need to be afraid of old age. You have to accept your age. Such is the paradox.
In this acceptance, all people go through several stages.
- Negation. Fears, reluctance to even mention our age, changing numbers in our passport, youth clothing... We don’t want to admit the truth.
- Anger, even aggression. We see signs of aging in ourselves and it makes us wildly angry. Gray hair, wrinkles, I can’t do 100 push-ups or jump from a 10-meter tower like I used to. There is aggression, and not always towards something, but also towards someone. I recently watched a video where society ladies discussed ageism and haters on Instagram. The heroines were indignant: how can they tell me “Why are you wearing this? Why did you wear that? How can you act naked!” So, in the video two aggressions met. On one side of the screen, the audience-readers are angry, condemning the “girls” who dress and look like that, on the other, these “girls” who are outraged that the audience is angry with them.
- Bargain. We are no longer angry, we do not deny the inexorable passage of time, but we are trying to outwit it, to deceive it. We do plastic surgery, anti-aging procedures... A multi-million dollar industry works to service this stage.
- Depression. It becomes clear: no matter what we do, time takes its toll. Especially if you pay attention exclusively to external signs. No wonder: after all, we struggle with what we have lost, and do not at all value what we have acquired. We are trying to grab the phoenix bird by the tail, but it keeps slipping away.
- And finally, the main stage is when we accept our age and calmly talk about it. Yes, I am 72 years old and I speak about this completely calmly. How much have I acquired at this age!
Everyone can analyze their attitude towards age and understand what stage they are at. Many people get stuck in one of the stages – first, second, third. And it also happens that a person calmly walked towards accepting himself, and then regressed, and again jumped back to an earlier stage.
Psychologist Maria Melia, author of the article, 73
Spatial changes
A woman always remains a mother, but there comes a time when this role needs to be qualitatively changed. As children grow up, they no longer need their mother’s love and care as much. This means that more time remains for the role of the mistress of the house. Don’t think that this is boring and painful. The psychological space of the family undergoes changes during this period. The woman was and remains the keeper of the home. But by this time it is empty: the children are eager to be free, they are ready for an independent life. They have their own lives and their own families. For a woman this is a source of great stress. New social roles fall out of the blue and need to be mastered. Just yesterday, strangers entered the circle of close or distant relatives. You need to learn to build relationships with them. And here are the grandchildren. Already? Grandmother? Great! But what is it? Aging and fading. And a serious problem arises of finding one’s place in these new relationships, accepting new social roles, which requires a lot of physical strength and mental energy. Where can I get them?
- Try to be creative in arranging your new (child-free) nest;
- Learn to do all housework efficiently.
How to come to acceptance of age?
We must understand that everything has pros and cons. Think about what you have more? What are the advantages? Everyone will definitely find their own. Age gives a lot, and you need to appreciate it. Therefore, when we start fighting with young people - putting on miniskirts, taking pretentious, seemingly sexual poses, doing plastic surgery, we obviously lose.
We fight the enemy on his field. And you have to play to your advantage: at the expense of your intelligence, independence, financial stability, social circle, level of culture, experience - everything that is called wisdom. Disassemble your strengths, strengthen them and feel calm in your territory.
Can I solve this issue myself or should I contact a specialist?
I believe that in everything that concerns some deep, personal issues, every person can and should understand himself and his life himself. Despite the fact that I am a consulting psychologist, I believe that we need to contact psychologists and psychiatrists less often, and even more so get hooked on this “needle.” You can, of course, meet and talk, but this is 1-2 consultations, no more, without a long-term relationship, so as not to become dependent on new gurus.
Think about it, ask yourself questions, stop fighting with those who are younger. Your life is completely different, and it has a huge number of advantages! And calmly and with dignity accept your age.
One last tip
One question: am I going from the fair or to the fair? I'm going to the fair myself! I have so much ahead, so many plans! And they all correspond to my age.
I have a granddaughter, and I take care of my health because I want to see how she will study at university. I want to write a new book. I have already started doing this and I have plans to release it this year. Six months ago I started running Instagram, sharing with my subscribers what I know. I’m preparing for master classes at the Higher School of Economics and Skolkovo, thinking about new angles in my work with clients.
Imagine a scale: on one side is the past, on the other is the future. When the past outweighs, when past events are more attractive to you, you feel older and try to fight it. And when the future, which you are not afraid of, is more significant, you feel young.
And then it’s not scary to open a new business at 50 years old. I founded my own writing company at the age of 51. And I had no idea how old I was, simply because I was interested. It gives energy and fills life with meaning. Of course, we are given some boundaries, but freedom of attitude to circumstances is important in them. This is the freedom that no one can deprive us of.
Schedule
To improve your well-being, it is important to stick to a specific schedule. A daily routine will help you plan everything correctly so that you have time to sleep, relax, or walk. These components contribute to feeling younger than 50.
Sleeping mode
Lack of night rest leads to irritation, fatigue, and memory impairment. This condition makes a person feel older than his age. It's never too late to change your habits. You need to establish a sleep schedule - only at this time the body recovers 100%. Tips from experts:
- Rest for 30–60 minutes during the day. Those who practice this rule have a 64% reduced risk of heart attack.
- Sleep 7–9 hours at night.
- Make the room dark with blinds or blackout curtains. This environment will help you fall asleep faster.
- Remove distractions from your bedroom, especially those related to work. The brain will be relaxed, freed from unnecessary thoughts.
- To fall asleep normally and have enough time to get enough sleep, go to bed at the same time, preferably before 23:30. After 6 weeks it will become a healthy habit.
- Turn off all electronic devices 1–1.5 hours before bedtime. They emit energy and light that disrupt the natural rhythm of the body and interfere with proper rest.
- Keep your room clean and make your bed every morning. Such a ritual will set the rhythm for the whole day, set the mood for positivity and reduce stress levels.
Walks
To gain energy and vitality, you need to include physical activity in your daily routine. You don't have to go to the gym 5 times a week. Regular walking in the fresh air is enough to keep fit. To feel young, you need to do them daily. Go outside, to a park or forest.
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Brisk walking for 10 minutes replaces a workout in the gym. If this time is increased to 1 hour, then longevity is guaranteed.
A walk will improve your health, mood, reduce stress levels and blood pressure.
