Who copes with a breakup easier - a man or a woman? How a man experiences a breakup with a woman: psychology, philosophy, reviews. Why doesn't a man let a woman go after a breakup?

From this article you will learn how men cope with breaking up with a woman and what difficulties they may have.

When people break up, it is always unpleasant and painful. It’s not for nothing that they say that separation is a little death. When a relationship changes for the worse, a painful period begins. Women have no idea that men also experience breakups and find it difficult to make decisions. So don’t think that he is heartless and doesn’t feel anything. Girls often become depressed and express their emotions. But the man himself looks cold and indifferent outwardly. But no one knows what's inside. Let's talk about how men handle breakups and why they do certain things.

Who copes with a breakup easier - a man or a woman?

A woman experiences a lot after a breakup and this is immediately obvious. Nothing makes her happy, she can become depressed. All day long she thinks only about the man and the best moments with him. It seems that there is no way to console her at all.

When it comes to the question of how a man copes with breaking up with a woman, the answer is somewhat different. Outwardly, he always looks cold and indifferent. But that doesn't mean it's really true.

From childhood, men are raised to be strong. They are taught to hide their feelings and be strong. If a guy is sensitive, he is often called a “whiner.” Therefore, gradually men learn to be strong. They are always calm and indifferent in appearance, but at the same time they have a whole storm inside them and are not even worse than women. Often friends don’t even realize what a man is going through, but they support him.

If the separation was a mutual decision, then people do not suffer so much. After all, there are no more feelings. It happens that exes remain on good terms. Then they both feel relieved when the situation is resolved calmly. And even after starting a new relationship, no one experiences any feelings of guilt or conscience. But if a man still loves a woman, then he will have a hard time going through the breakup.

How men behave after a divorce: reasons for an inadequate reaction

After a divorce, men, just like women, experience severe stress. No matter how long you live together, parting is always difficult. The ex-husband’s reaction can be completely different depending on the reason for the separation, the characteristics of his character, and the relationships in your family. If you notice that a man’s behavior unexpectedly changes after a divorce, perhaps this is how he experiences this stressful event.

Let's remember the classic stages of grief that are common to all people:

  • negation;
  • anger;
  • bargain;
  • awareness of what happened;
  • Adoption.

It is clear that strange reactions are sometimes observed in the first three stages. Emotions are running high. People may then regret for a long time that they said too much at these moments or did something wrong. Have you encountered this? Write in the comments, all answers are anonymous. Everyone lives the stages themselves in their own way and in time, for some it takes a week, for others many months.

But usually inappropriate behavior of a man after the collapse of a long-term relationship occurs if the initiator of the breakup is a woman. And the man himself does not know how to control his emotions, he is hot-tempered and aggressive. Therefore, try to disperse peacefully.

What else could cause an abnormal reaction?

  1. A woman provokes a man in every possible way and humiliates his dignity. This includes various manipulations and blackmail on the part of the ex-wife, insults, and demonstration of one’s own inappropriate behavior.
  2. The reason for the divorce is the wife's betrayal. Hit below the belt. Especially if the spouses had completely normal relationships before the divorce, including intimate ones. A sudden separation against such a background can provoke strong aggression or drive one into deep despair.
  3. The husband himself is inadequate. For example, he is a tough tyrant or has some kind of addiction. Then you will see the man’s inappropriate behavior while still in the relationship.
  4. Features of the psychotype. A man-child can begin to become hysterical, as they say, and demand what he gets back. Blackmail and threats will be used. Soft and receptive, he easily becomes depressed. What is your husband's character like? Child, parent, conqueror, receptive?
  5. Protracted disputes with property. This question often causes inappropriate reactions, because the time comes to divide everything acquired. Some men share everything down to the last spoon, while others are not going to give anything at all. Read how to divide everything without scandals and according to the law in the section “Life after separation”. Here you will also find many recommendations on how to return to a full life.

If you take into account the general emotional state of the spouses, the reactions can be truly unexpected.

How a man experiences a breakup with a woman, a guy with an adult woman: psychology


How do men feel?
Now let's find out how a man handles breaking up with a woman. In general, if a guy left or is to blame for the breakup, then he is overcome by difficult experiences.

So, during a breakup, a man is overcome by such emotions as:

  • Discomfort . All men love coziness and comfort, and when he breaks up with a woman, his usual way of life changes. Everything in the house will remind you of the woman, no matter how much you don’t want to forget it
  • Fear . It comes from discomfort. It seems to a man that he is weak and defenseless. This unsettles him
  • Yearning . If there are feelings, then the melancholy will be strong. The man will feel pain and will want to see his beloved
  • Jealousy . Even if a man initiates the separation, he will still be jealous of the woman. He will be upset that she has someone else

Despite all this, not everyone understands that relationships need to be worked on. If a guy loves and appreciates a girl, then he will break up with her only as a last resort. Regardless of the reason for the breakup, he will suffer, but his experiences will result differently from those of a woman.

For example, he will forget himself in alcohol or immediately find a new girl in order to also escape from his worries. Outwardly, he will be calm, but excessive demonstration of a new passion is evidence that he is bored. Some seek adrenaline from racing or dangerous sports. In addition, it can be aggression. In this way a man expresses all his feelings.

In fact, for men, separation does not go away quickly either; wounds take a long time to heal. And there are often doubts that the right choice has been made.

Why is it impossible to forget a woman after a breakup?


Why is it difficult to forget a woman?
When girls are interested in how a man copes with breaking up with a woman, they think about when he will forget everything that happened. Breaking up is always difficult, and if he was not the initiator, then it will be doubly difficult for him. And it often really happens that a man cannot forget a woman.

This happens in the following situations:

  • Fear of loneliness . This is the main reason why you don’t want to let go of the past. After all, before you did everything together, but now you have to do everything alone. And from this a person gets lost.
  • Faith in the only love. It's romantic, sure, but face the harsh reality. There may be several partners in life who can give happiness. You can’t cling to the idea that your only chance has been missed.
  • Follows her ex on social networks . Perhaps after breaking up you will remain friends with each other. This is not the best solution. You can sometimes, of course, find out how your partner is doing, but this can become an obsession.
  • The past is idealized. Some time after parting, all the bad things are forgotten and only the good things remain. But be realistic. If everything was fine, then you obviously would not have broken up. So we must accept this fact.
  • Regret about what was done or not done . In some places it was possible to remain silent, but in others it was the other way around. Maybe everything would be different. If thoughts about this constantly arise, then you blame yourself. Maybe this is true, but you need to learn from mistakes and not think about them constantly.
  • You are in shock . People are not always ready for separation and therefore they may be in shock. You lose trust in people and doubt your actions. Believe me, it's not worth it. There is no need to look for reasons, live in the present and think about the future.
  • I want to become the person I was in the relationship. Sometimes men don't even miss a woman, but the time with her. Many people idealize first love. If you imagine that the relationship will return, then everything will be different and you yourself understand it.
  • You continue communication . If after separation communication continues and the man’s feelings are alive, then this will be torment for both. Instead of moving on, you will always remember the past. So if you have already broken up, then define boundaries and keep contact to a minimum.
  • Dissatisfaction with the current partner . Yes, the reason is banal - I just don’t like the new relationship. If you are trying to idealize a new person, then it is better to break up with him. The current girl will not change, and when she returns back she will have to face the shortcomings that caused the breakup. So you better take a break.

Why does a man cry in front of a woman when breaking up?

Some girls, when they think about how a man copes with a breakup with a woman, are faced with the fact that he begins to cry. Why is this happening? And this makes you break up.

In general, men are also people and they also have emotions. Someone is too emotional. So men can cry when it’s hard for them. Moreover, it is not easy to part with him when you have feelings.

It also happens that a man’s feelings are very strong, and he himself is to blame for the fact that you break up. He can be on his knees, begging for forgiveness and crying. This means that he repents of what he did.

If a man is abandoned by his mistress

Representatives of the stronger sex experience separation from a woman completely differently if she was the initiator of the breakup. How do men feel during a breakup? Psychologists say that their internal sensations are similar to the emotions experienced by children who have lost their favorite toy. The guy will constantly think about his departed beloved, blame only the young lady for what happened and not admit his own shortcomings. An abandoned person cherishes the hope of renewing the relationship; he considers the ways and timing of the return of his beloved. Quite often, a gentleman is overcome by depression, which without psychological help can drag on for a long time.

Why is a man aggressive, he gets angry, he insults a woman after breaking up?


Why is a man angry?
When answering the question of how a man copes with breaking up with a woman, it is important to consider such moments as anger and insults. Indeed, some men stoop to such a level. They can act in different ways - tell everyone nasty things, post photos “just for him” on social networks.

Typically, aggression indicates that a man feels weak and powerless. You hurt his pride. He believes that he was abandoned and deceived. Even if during the parting he did not show it and behaved calmly, then inside he definitely had a whole ocean of emotions. He is definitely against your breakup, he thinks that you acted stupidly and unfairly.

What exactly are the reasons for this behavior is up to you to decide. Perhaps you really played on his feelings, or maybe you changed him? It happens that jealousy is the cause of aggression. In this case, there is no one to blame - only yourself. You will have to apologize and explain that you regret your action. Only this will calm the aggressor.

Although, he may express aggression due to pettiness or vindictiveness. There is nothing you can do here, you just have to wait until everything goes away, and as a last resort, go to court. Well, in the future, stay away from such people.

Prohibited actions and errors

If a girl had strong feelings for a guy, then breaking up could have a negative impact on her psychological state. Because of this, many people lose control of their actions and do strange and stupid things.

categorically not doing the following after a breakup :

  • to sort things out and disturb the person with questions and calls, trying to find out what exactly happened. This way you can only humiliate yourself in the eyes of a man. It is recommended to abstain from communication for some time;
  • write negative messages or bad things about a man on social networks (especially publicly);
  • offer to remain friends - after a relationship, few people succeed in this;
  • establish relationships with others, no matter who;
  • starting classes with close friends of your ex out of spite - this can only ruin his attitude towards himself;
  • come to places where he often visits - a man will still understand the reason for frequent visits to this or that place. It’s better to take care of yourself and devote time to hobbies;
  • take revenge on your ex by terrorizing his new girlfriend;
  • spreading bad rumors about your ex;
  • abuse alcohol;
  • withdraw into oneself;
  • share a problem with strangers on the Internet - they may recommend something bad.

Such mistakes are typical in these cases, and they can only worsen the girl’s depression. And the ex-man will be completely disappointed in her, and if before that he somehow regretted his decision to separate, now he can be convinced that he did everything right.

Does a man miss a woman after a breakup?

A very common question when you think about how a man copes with a breakup with a woman, is he bored? In fact, a man can deny that he was bored, because a real man should not indulge in suffering. In such a situation, certain signs will help determine how true his words are.

After exactly how long he starts to get bored depends on the person and his feelings. As soon as he writes to you, you can be sure that he misses you. Or he will remind you of himself in another way.

If he wrote to you that he misses you, then this is true, but you can check this fact. Perhaps he doesn’t say anything, but just starts liking, writing beautiful comments and sending postcards. This is how he makes himself known, but he may be afraid to take the first step and will wait for it from you.

By the way, men do not always behave carefully. Some get confused and begin to behave annoyingly. Jealousy awakens in them. They begin to actively show attention and even seem to impose themselves.

Why doesn't a man let a woman go after a breakup?


Why doesn't the man let go?
In some situations, it is more important to understand not even how a man copes with breaking up with a woman, but why he does not let go after breaking up. At the same time, he may not hold the woman. You just communicate, he is eloquent in words, but in reality he does not confirm this in any way. And you no longer feel your value and need. It turns out that the man does not hold, but does not let go at all, because when you attempt a complete separation, he begins to play on your feelings. You stay and in the end everything remains the same. So why does this happen?

There are several reasons for this:

  • He is happy with everything as it is. Perhaps you yourself are unconsciously not letting him go. He simply lives his life, and only sometimes remembers you when you yourself disappear. He tells you how much he loves you and you relax. You might even make peace. If this is the case for you, then why do you need it? Listen to beautiful words that are not supported by actions? Think, maybe you are being considered as a backup option?
  • Difference in views. You want a long relationship, but the guy only starts wanting this after breaking up. And so you broke up, and he again behaves as usual, supposedly you are limiting him. It's simple here - you have different views.
  • Confidence. It must be earned. When a man loves you and promises to make you happy and that he has changed, then there is no need to rush. Let him deserve a second chance. If you go back, things are unlikely to get better. If this is the case, then it is better to break up completely.
  • You justify him. Girls who are attracted to “morons” who do not want a normal relationship are prone to self-flagellation. They believe that everything depends only on them. They cannot realize otherwise. So, as an adult, a person can blame himself for his problems. It’s simply convenient for a guy who likes to drink or takes drugs to have such a girl next to him, when during the gaps between parties there was someone to go to.

Psychology of an abandoned man

How does an abandoned man feel when he finds himself alone with loneliness? Did he expect separation from his beloved or was he confident in the inviolability of their relationship? Probably there was still a premonition of a breakup, but he didn’t believe them, or just tried not to notice?

How does a lonely man feel when left alone with himself: his human dignity has been trampled upon, he has suffered a defeat, which he may have guessed, but did not take the necessary measures.

To be defeated is a deep trauma for him, such is the psychology of an abandoned man. He compares himself with a happy rival, trying to find the most unsightly traits of his character, remembers and exaggerates his bad deeds, and at the same time finds existing and non-existent advantages in himself. Mentally reproaches the woman for failing to appreciate him and exchanging him for such a nonentity.

There is a slight hope that the beloved, having figured it out and compared him with the other, will return to him. Then he has a desire to punish her for this offense and not forgive her for betraying her. But the woman does not call, does not seek a meeting, and the pain becomes stronger and stronger.

A man resorts to an old way of getting rid of suffering - meeting with friends at a bar. Here he behaves with dignity, trying with all his appearance to show his indifference to what happened.

Friends behave understandingly, pouring him glass after glass, while cursing all the women with the last words. The man, from the support of his comrades, feels some relief, but this relief, combined with alcohol, reduces self-control, so he tries to forget himself at the bar.

Everything that an abandoned man feels must be extinguished with positive emotions. It is important to do what you love, this will distract you from heavy thoughts and the dangerous desire to drown the pain in vodka, which very often leads to a severe form of alcoholism.

Every man, in the depths of his heart, tenderly dreams of meeting his only beautiful woman, who will become not only his beloved, but also his most faithful and devoted friend for life. If we recall many novels, the most terrible revenge was considered to be to take away a man’s woman.

So how does a lonely man feel when his beloved treated him so cruelly: she took herself away from him! He needs to find the strength to forget about the misfortune that happened, not to become a misogynist, and to start living again. Communication with children consoles and pleases a man, and often the anticipation of these meetings becomes a bright window in his life. A man thinks about his children, tries to buy them the most desired gifts, plans how best to spend the day with the children, and prepares pleasant surprises for them.

Time really heals, and the man begins to look for a new lover. He is attracted to women who are similar to his former beloved, and having found some similarity, the man gets scared because this similarity reminds him of the tragedy he experienced. But the unsettled life and loneliness push him and, in the end, he finds a girlfriend.

It would be good if he met a wise woman who, with her tender attention, understanding, affectionate treatment and care, could create cozy happiness in the house and thereby help the man forever forget the previous pain he experienced.

It is interesting that not all women can understand the psychology of an abandoned man; they are not given the opportunity to feel like him. But only a woman can bring a man out of depression, give him faith in himself; men accomplished many feats only thanks to women.

Everything that an abandoned man feels should not become the reason for his moral decline, but to make him wiser, give him the opportunity to change for the better, draw reasonable conclusions and prevent a repetition of this terrible tragedy in his life. You shouldn’t give up on yourself and your future feelings on this.

How long does a man remember a woman, does he remember after breaking up?


How does a man cope with a breakup?
Every girl should know how a man copes with a breakup with a woman, and also how long he endures it. Men are not always happy with their freedom; it is also difficult for them to join the new trend of life. This takes some time.

So, the experience of separation occurs in five stages:

  • Denial . A man, even a free man, may not fully understand the fact of separation. So at first he denies it
  • Expression of feelings. Then he gets angry at his ex for injustice. Usually those who are lonely and deprived of female attention think this way. Emotions prevent him from living normally and communicating with people
  • Awareness and doubt. When emotions subside, the situation is perceived differently. A feeling of guilt arises and mistakes are realized. There is a desire to improve everything and fear of the future
  • Depression . The man understands the whole situation and that there is no point in blaming his wife and sorting things out with her. He loses hope and becomes depressed
  • Humility and consent . In the end, calm comes and all the bad things fade into the background. The man draws conclusions and begins to live independently. He develops an interest in life and communication

It takes some time to go through all the stages. Some people manage to get through them quickly, while others suffer for months.

Stages of separation in men

The male sex often experiences a painful breakup in silence. But researchers from the University of Königsberg established seven stages and found out how men experience a breakup. Stages:

  1. "I don't believe". The stronger sex denies what is happening. He cannot believe that the woman he loved left him, there was a breakup.
  2. Manifestation of negative feelings. At this stage, a man experiences the whole range of negative emotions - from aggression to resentment towards women.
  3. Depression. At this stage, the awareness of separation comes. How do men cope with divorce during this time? Self-esteem decreases, melancholy is present, happy moments of life together are remembered.
  4. Awareness of the problem. After reflection, a feeling of guilt comes, for example, if you had to break up on your own initiative.
  5. Attempts to solve the problem. Some men drown out the pain with alcohol, others immerse themselves in work activities. Many people try to start new relationships, but at this stage the romances are short-lived. Meeting girls can be a way to improve your self-esteem.
  6. After a painful period, the meaning of life appears, new desires appear, and self-esteem returns.
  7. Accepting the breakup. The separated couple has already found or is looking for new partners. The man accepts the situation, he is ready to enter into a new relationship.

How a man experiences a breakup with a woman: reviews

Many women talk about how a man experiences a breakup with a woman. A lot has been said about this on the forums. Here's what some users say:


Review 1


Review 2


Review 3


Review 4


Review 5

After betrayal

Do men worry after their betrayal? For many husbands, sex with another woman does not equate to betrayal or the fact that his love has passed. What does the man feel in this case? It all depends on the environment, upbringing, values, moral principles. A break in a relationship with a lover may indicate a change in priorities and a desire to save the family. A married man will think through different options so that his wife does not find out about his infidelity. But psychologists assure that emotions during betrayal depend on the individual. Some will be tormented by a strong feeling of guilt, and for others, betrayal is a reason to diversify their life.

How do men cope with a breakup if a woman cheats?

For the most part, men rarely forgive a woman for cheating. The main emotions are resentment, aggression, hatred. Deceived husbands suffer, and there is also imposed competition.

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