Sometimes girls don’t know how to loosen up in bed, and because of their stiffness they lose their husbands and boyfriends. Sometimes the reasons that a girl cannot relax are psychological, and it will not be possible to solve them on her own, but in some cases it is enough to discuss the problem with a partner, change something in her appearance, or add a new feature to sexual games with a man.
How to relax in bed?i
The first thing a girl who doesn’t know how to relax in bed should do is understand that her man really likes her. Male psychology is very different from female psychology, and when a lady thinks that he has grown cold and stopped paying attention to her, in fact nothing bad happens, and the guy is just tired. Men love women differently, they are completely immersed in their feelings, but at the same time they are not distracted from other events in life.
Therefore, the first thing you need to do is admit that the guy actually likes the girl and even a temporary cooling of the relationship is not always the reason that the guy stopped loving the girl. Lack of love is always easy to recognize, and if the relationship persists, then sex in a couple should remain at the same level.
It is also easier for a girl to relax if she is wearing underwear from a good brand that matches the color. A beautiful bra and panties also attract a man's gaze and make a girl even more desirable. You can increase your own self-esteem by additionally wearing stockings, a belt, or a corset.
If the young man has a good sense of humor, then you can defuse the situation by wearing beautiful underwear with different funny inscriptions - this way both partners will laugh and the girl will loosen up faster.
An additional technique for increasing self-esteem for a woman is the use of suitable cosmetics. It is interesting that men like scarlet lipstick on their lips, but it is difficult for them to kiss a woman wearing makeup, therefore, before having sex, they should apply soft makeup that emphasizes the dignity of the skin.
Another good option for those who don’t know how to relax in bed is to choose the right perfume. A girl who smells good can already be confident in herself and her grooming. There is no need to pour the entire bottle on yourself, this way you can really “surprise” a man. A couple of drops are enough on the most delicate places - on the neck and on the bends of the elbows.
Liberation must occur gradually; a girl cannot open up in one day. The partner himself plays a significant role. It is important that a man helps his beloved, tells her how good she looks, what beautiful underwear she is wearing.
Psychologists recommend opening up in bed with the help of moans and open expression of emotions - men love to hear a girl, so they understand that she likes everything. And if a lady begins to openly show emotions, it is easier for her to open up to her boyfriend.
Not long ago, one of my friends asked how free I felt in bed with a man. The question itself, to be honest, surprised me, but then my friend continued: “I control and restrain myself all the time. It seems to me that some crazy creature lives inside me, and if I let it out, the man will be scared.”
Perhaps all this would be funny, but personally I’m sad for us. Our own complexes prevent us from “releasing” some “crazy creature” into the wild. The statistics are that 60% of young ladies are dissatisfied with their shape, 20% with their skin and the same number with their hair. Because of this, many are afraid not only to loosen up in bed, but even to undress in the presence of a man. How to relax in bed with your loved one and get rid of self-doubt and enjoy sex?
Defeating complexes
One of the main reasons for our constraint is the stereotype that, supposedly, men want to see 45 kilograms of bones in bed, instead of curvy and appetizing forms. Where we got such a “clear” idea of male preferences is unclear, however, ask any man you know, and he will tell you that he would prefer a girl who “has something to hold onto” to a skinny model. And this is not at all surprising, because even for me, Beyoncé, whose measurements are far from the standard 90-60-90, evokes much more desire than Kate Moss.
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Ask any man you know, and he will tell you that he would prefer a girl who “has something to hold onto” to a skinny model.
Little tricks
If I still couldn’t convince you that your forms are beautiful, no matter what they are, use little secrets for greater self-confidence.
For example:
Resort to a little visual trickery; Apply a self-tanner or go to a solarium. Tanned skin always looks sexier and more perfect than pale skin. In just a few sessions, both options will hide your imperfections, and your skin will look even more even and smooth.
You can also “tweak” your figure with the right accessories. Focus on those parts of the body that you consider advantageous. If you have slender legs, wear stockings; if you have a pronounced hourglass figure, emphasize it with a corset, and decorate your thin and beautiful neck with beads or a necklace.
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If I still haven’t managed to convince you that your forms are beautiful, no matter what they are, use little secrets for greater self-confidence
Always be beautiful
In everyday life, we often do not pay attention to what tights and underwear we are wearing; When getting ready for work, we grab the first thing in the locker, and this is very wrong! We deserve the best and the most beautiful, even when there is no reward in the form of sex waiting for us in the evening. All items of underwear and wardrobe that do not cause you much enthusiasm, please donate them to charity. Wear only the underwear and clothes that make you feel desirable and sexy. Don't dress for someone else, be beautiful for yourself.
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Any items of underwear and wardrobe that don't excite you, please donate them to charity
Express your desires
Let me return to my friend’s phrase - “It seems to me that some crazy creature lives inside me, and if I let it out, the man will be scared.” Remember at least one man in your life who was afraid to speak openly about his sexual desires. I don’t remember a single “timid” person on my journey. Talking to your partner about sex and what you want in bed is a MUST. Moreover, a man will be happy if you share your desires with him. In fact, he himself will never guess what you like and what excites you. Such heart-to-heart conversations often help you relax and feel more confident.
All our problems exist exclusively in our heads, and in order to liberate ourselves, it is enough to start with the simplest things. Let go of your fears, remember that there are two of you in bed, and no matter what happens in this bed, your duty is to have fun. Once you realize this, you're halfway to great sex!
Author: Marina Biniashvili
Author of the article: Pink.ua
Trust between partners2
It is very important for a woman to trust the man with whom she goes to bed. You should never be afraid to directly tell your loved one that the girl is shy, because only after learning about the problem will he be able to do something to solve it.
Love for a man is very liberating, so if a girl is afraid to undress in front of a guy when they have already had sex for the first time, then there is some other problem. And most often it is a lack of trust.
Discussing intimate moments between partners has a positive effect on relationships. Men and women discuss all the time what they will eat for breakfast, where they will go. In exactly the same vein, cheerfully and cheerfully, you need to learn to discuss intimate moments.
How to overcome shyness?
In most cases, shyness problems manifest themselves when communicating with the other sex. Shyness manifests itself in the fact that a young man, for example, cannot approach a girl, or is overcome by panic. This problem mainly affects young people aged 14 to 30 years.
In everyday situations, when you need to interact without options (work, study or other everyday communications), usually a shy person can control himself. But when it comes to something new, for example, with an unfamiliar wife, then things are bad. Taking a step towards a conversation, much less inviting someone somewhere, becomes a serious problem, for which people are already turning to a psychologist. After all, a person cannot do anything with himself to overcome shyness on his own, so he needs outside help
Sports and liberation3
If a girl has obvious problems with her figure, then it is absolutely normal that she withdraws into herself and is afraid to undress in front of her partner. There is only one way to solve this problem - by starting to visit the gym and watching your own nutrition.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to solve the problem of excess weight, especially if cellulite has appeared, in a couple of days, therefore, in addition to working on your figure, you also need to get rid of embarrassment.
Sometimes this problem can be solved by wearing beautiful, shapely underwear.
However, you should not repeat the mistake of many girls and hide in the dark, because for guys this is not the best way to make love, and they, not getting what they want, begin to look for what they need on the side.
How to get rid of shyness
If shyness is justified by psychological factors, then the first way to solve this problem is to become aware of its presence and one’s own influence on the emergence and development of this situation.
Shyness is a character trait that is not something immutable and constant, like temperament and the strength of the nervous system - it is a special response model, a habit that has become comfortable, a certain style of thinking. Just as a person reinforces the development of a response mode, he can reduce its impact. To reduce the number of such manifestations, you will have to remember at what point the decision was made about the benefits of this method of response. Most likely, this was a justified situation in childhood, when only such a reaction could be successful, but now the person has become more mature and different situations occur, accordingly new methods are needed.
How to get rid of shyness? To understand what is happening to you at the moment of embarrassment, you need to listen to yourself very delicately. Note what other feelings arise at this moment, what happens to the physical sensation (tension or tremors may appear), how quickly this feeling develops and in what situations. Perhaps, with this detailed analysis, you will have childhood memories of some situations, people, phrases, characteristics in your direction. All this needs to be noted so that you can change it later.
Next, in order to change your own reactions, you need to change at least one of the components of your habitual response. That is, if in a familiar situation, when you begin to feel shy, your breathing quickens, then you can make a conscious effort to breathe as slowly and deeply as possible. If an unpleasant feeling appears in the chest area, you can mentally move it to your hands and shake it off. When critical voices come to mind, imagine what the cartoon voices said. The more things you can consciously change, the more different your final response will be.
In addition to working in the immediate situation, it is necessary to work with internal beliefs regarding self-perception and internal sensation of the situation. This even works when asking how to overcome a child’s shyness.
You can increase your self-esteem through sports and changing your image, you can enroll in a studio of like-minded people or ask specialists to highlight your strengths and attractive features. The more you develop, both physically and mentally, the higher your positive self-perception.
It is also important what kind of people you surround yourself with: the fewer reproaching and humiliating individuals, the less reason you have to constantly hang your head in embarrassment
You can search in your coordinates for an image of a person or hero whom you would like to emulate. On the one hand, this will help to develop tactics for achievement, to learn what this person can do. On the other hand, it is useful to analyze where you got this particular reference image from and check how much it is yours, since external ideals are often instilled in us in childhood, and they have nothing to do with the personality we have at the moment.
When the example is truly chosen by you and corresponds to a valid value and semantic system, try to live a day like this person. You don't have to do much, just play the role, try on the character and feel what it's like to be in that role. You may feel that you were more comfortable in your previous life, and you may feel how easy it is to show confidence and express yourself.
Be prepared for the changes to take a long time. It is impossible to be shy for twenty years, and after one exercise show super-leadership qualities. This will be daily painstaking work, not only directly with the sensations at the moment of constraint, but also with the global experience of life and oneself in it.
Where does discomfort come from?
You can solve any problem and get rid of discomfort, however, before doing this, you should try to find out what exactly provoked the fear of intimacy and reluctance to open up to your partner.
According to sexologists, women's fears arise from childhood and teenage psychological trauma, for example, from unsuccessful first sexual intercourse.
The girl’s improper education on sexual relations and her lack of awareness on some points is also the reason that in the future she cannot fully open up to her partner.
It is extremely difficult to solve such problems alone; a conversation with specialists is often required.
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