Advice for men i
Orgasm is a complex psychological and physiological process. Certain areas of the brain are responsible for its achievement. Not every woman is capable of achieving pleasure. This does not depend on the size of the male genital organ.
It is necessary to have a good understanding of the anatomy of sex. The visible part of the clitoris is just a small part of it. A large number of nerve endings are concentrated in the labia minora.
The fold over the clitoris is called the hood. If you gently move it, it will cause a warm sensation in the woman. Something akin to what men feel when their foreskin moves.
Some people mistakenly believe that vaginal and clitoral orgasms are different things. Actually this is not true. In the first case, stimulation of the clitoris is indirect, in the second - direct. In both options, the peak of pleasure occurs with prolonged exposure to the clitoris.
As a result of practice, sensitivity can be improved and orgasm will occur from stimulation of the labia majora.
Orgasm: clitoral or vaginal?
I think now you understand that clitoral and vaginal orgasm are the essence of one concept. There is one orgasm, it is simply caused from two places: on the one hand - from the clitoris, and on the other - from the front wall of the vagina (G-spot). A striking example for understanding: imagine a two-handed saw. You can saw a log alone, holding the saw on one side or the other - the log is sawed at the same time. It's faster, more efficient and better if two people hold the saw, that is, both handles are used. But you cannot call the same process of sawing a log differently, focusing only on which side of the log you are standing on.
The clitoris is on the surface, and its stimulation is not particularly difficult. The G-spot is located inside, requires certain preparation and does not always have time to be involved during sexual intercourse, since a woman does not develop a full-fledged plateau phase - both due to the transience of sexual intercourse and as a result of distractions (pain, emotional discomfort, etc.). ).
The accessibility of the clitoris has made clitoral orgasm the most common method of inducing orgasm, although, as I said, there is only one orgasm. If a woman stimulates the clitoris during intercourse and gets an orgasm from this, she says that it was only a clitoral orgasm, and she would like to learn how to experience a vaginal one. In fact, she needs to develop a full-fledged plateau phase in order to enhance the sensations from clitoral stimulation: this will lead to an orgasm that she will consider vaginal, although it will just be a full-fledged orgasm.
In general, the task of the clitoris is to initiate arousal, then it is stimulated during sexual intercourse by touching the penis (in certain positions), and also stimuli are transmitted to it from the labia minora, which are in constant friction during the movements of the penis. As described above, before orgasm, the clitoris is pulled inward, as if indicating that its external stimulation is no longer significant for the formation of a full orgasm. He approaches the G-spot from the inside, to the zone in the orgasmic cuff where a full orgasm arises.
Main features2
In order to understand how to get an orgasm, a girl needs to understand what its precursors are. Most often, the process is described as follows: warmth spreads throughout the body, the vagina contracts rhythmically. The waves travel through the entire body.
These are pretty general points. Each woman has her own characteristics of orgasm.
If a girl just can't reach her peak, there could be several issues at play. The first is psychological discomfort. It arises due to negative experiences..
Some girls' perceptions are influenced by their sexual partners. Someone called her frigid, a log and that’s it, there is arousal, but there is no way to achieve orgasm, since the partner is in tension.
Sometimes personal complexes interfere with pleasure. Men worry about the size of the penis, and women worry about its appearance.
Such complexes lead to stiffness and tension in the body. Instead of enjoying herself, the woman is tense. She will try to look beautiful in the eyes of a man.
The environment for sex should be comfortable. Before the process, you should not overeat, as this will contribute to the formation of fatigue; the body's resources will be spent on digesting food.
Sometimes the reason for not having an orgasm lies in physiology. Weak vaginal muscles can make it difficult to achieve pleasure.
If a woman has problems achieving orgasm, she should talk tactfully with her partner. She may need to consult a sexologist or psychologist.
Look at yourself, take a closer look
Men and women belong to the 1st species - humans, and orgasm is tied to physiology. Therefore, remember yourself at the moment of orgasm and look for the same signs in a woman (no, not identical, but similar in sensations).
Tension in the body, confused, rapid breathing, rapid heartbeat, unfocused gaze, desire to quickly get a release, pulsation in the lower abdomen, sensitivity of the genitals after.
You can continue endlessly, as described separately above...
All this is typical for both men and women. The signs can be different... Learn to identify them from your young lady. This is the only way to 100% understand that she experienced an orgasm (came!).
Preparatory stage 3
If a girl sets out to get pleasure, she needs to study her body well. Masturbation will help her with this. For a long time this topic was taboo. If for men it was still allowed (at certain periods of time, masturbation was condemned) and was talked about in literature or cinema, then in the case of women everything is different.
For a long time they were not given the right to study the body, to recognize their ability to have an orgasm.
For masturbation, you need to find a convenient time when the woman will not be distracted or disturbed. You should choose a comfortable place according to your personal feelings - a bedroom, a bathroom or a living room. You can carry out any relaxing procedures: a warm shower, dim lights, a little wine.
Next you need to pay attention to what will excite you. Some people like stories with erotic content, others like porn. Once a pleasant feeling of warmth appears, you can begin masturbation.
It is impossible to say which single technique will be most effective. It all depends on individual characteristics. You need to find erogenous zones - the most sensitive places. It's not just breasts and genitals. Earlobes, back of head, belly and much more.
You can change the degree of impact - stroke, barely touch. Press, pinch. You need to monitor your personal reactions, noting what brings you pleasure.
Do not quickly move on to clitoral stimulation. Caress the inner thighs, barely touching the female labia majora. Only after you have thoroughly studied sensitivity can you move on to the main thing.
You can caress the clitoris with your fingers using different movements - rubbing, circular, pressing. Some people prefer to use special toys.
Masturbation is a great way to relax, explore your body, and have a quick orgasm. It can be done as part of the games with a partner.
Why do some women achieve vaginal orgasm more easily than others?2
Every woman's body is unique. Every girl has different sensitivities; a touch that hurts one may not be intense enough for another.
Due to the peculiarities of anatomy, it is easier for some to have a vaginal orgasm, and for others it is more difficult. You will find more information about the anatomy of sex in the article.
People are used to calling its visible part the clitoris. That is, a small sensitive bump at the top of the vulva, hidden behind a fold of skin. The clitoris is actually a large organ, most of which is located inside your body rather than outside.
Its structure resembles an inverted letter "Y". The pleasure you can get from vaginal sex depends on how symmetrical the parts of your clitoris are close to the walls of the vagina.
Main stage 4
Every guy should have an idea of how to properly caress the clitoris to help a girl get an orgasm. This is what will make him a good lover. It must be remembered that women need more time to become aroused.
Therefore, a lot of attention is paid to foreplay and games. It is not necessary to immediately move on to touching the clitoris. Create a romantic atmosphere, turn on relaxing music, dim the lights.
You can start with a massage, grooming and a light snack. Such attention will allow a woman to relax and forget about tension. Ask your partner about her fantasies and secret desires. Such frank topics will help you get in the right frame of mind.
A charming voice helps to get excited and tune in to the right mood. Therefore, you should not neglect conversations. Love games will be a great help and will help increase desire.
A woman should not be afraid to talk about her preferences. Gently guide your partner’s hands, say what exactly excites and turns you on. You can take a man’s hand and place it on the erogenous zones, offering to caress them.
You can control the degree of impact with your voice. Some people like caresses more harshly, others more tenderly. Sometimes you need to change the speed of games and their intensity.
Once the woman is sufficiently excited, you can proceed to sexual intercourse. Each representative of the fair sex has its own characteristics of anatomical structure. Therefore, in different positions, penetration is felt especially.
Try starting with the classic cowgirl - a woman riding a man. With this position, she can control the degree of penetration and intensity of movements. At this time, the man squeezes his buttocks with his hands. Use your fingers to feel the small depression in the upper part of the buttock - this place is very exciting.
As an unusual option, you can try “with your back to your partner.” The position is similar to cowgirl, but the woman sits with her back to the man's face. The “on all fours” pose is also suitable.
In order for a woman to have an orgasm, a man needs to work hard. To do this, he will have to engage in additional stimulation. During penetration with your fingers, you should caress the clitoris, catching subtle changes in your partner.
Just ask directly
The simplest, most logical and reliable way to understand whether your partner has come. Because girls really often imitate (a third of women, according to a survey conducted by our authors in Moscow, Russian Federation: out of 558 respondents, 380 answered that they always imitate).
The bad news is that it is almost impossible to recognize an imitation. The signs that are listed here and in other articles on a similar topic can be simulated. Muscle tension, intermittent breathing (which speeds up the heartbeat), moans - and the partner is sure that the girl has come.
Causes:
- Fear of offending, desire to support the partner’s self-esteem.
Men are rarely able to adequately respond to the news “sorry, honey, I didn’t like it, I didn’t finish” - much more often girls hear in response accusations of frigidity, anger, men say that the problem is with the woman, and he, the man, did everything right.
Women naturally do not want to face an aggressive reaction. Therefore, it is easier to stimulate than to argue, explain, or deal with an offended man.
- The desire to finish the process as quickly as possible.
There is an idea that sex must end in orgasm. This seems logical: otherwise, why bother making love? However, in reality, both men and women are not able to experience an orgasm every time.
Their minds may be filled with sad thoughts. Or too tired to experience strong sensations of release. Or just not in the mood right now.
At the same time, the process of sexual interaction itself may well bring pleasure to the couple: hugs, kisses, pleasant stimulation of erogenous zones - this contributes to the production of oxytocin (the hormone of intimacy, stimulates a feeling of affection, calmness, security) and endorphin, the hormone of joy.
But because of the attitude that “sex must end in orgasm,” intimacy in the format of pleasant sexual interaction without orgasm seems incomplete. And girls/women stimulate.
The second option is sadder: sex is so unpleasant that it is more profitable for a girl to stimulate an orgasm to stop the process than to explain what her partner is doing wrong.
This often happens because a man considers long-term friction with a penis in the vagina to be good sex. Back and forth, back and forth. Reference: most women do not experience orgasm at all from vaginal stimulation without clitoral stimulation.
- It’s easier to stimulate than to explain how to truly give pleasure.
It happens that a man does not show sensitivity in bed or is simply not a very skilled lover. In all other respects, the girl is satisfied with the relationship, but in bed it’s a complete 0, explanations do not help, and it becomes easier to stimulate than to try to explain.
That's why women imitate. It's easier to ask directly. But it is important to ask correctly.
How:
- Don't ask questions during sex. “Are you done yet?” in the middle of the process, it instantly stops all excitement. Ask later, when the intimacy is over, gently, not directly.
- Create a comfortable environment for your partner. Say that you are ready to hear a negative answer, she can be honest, you will not be offended, and you want to give her real pleasure.
Because women are afraid of offending their partner. To the question “darling, did you like it?” The only possible answer for them is: “Of course, the best sex of my life!” She doesn't want to lie to you - she's just afraid of offending you.
- Don't be offended. If once, asking “honey, have you finished?” and having received a negative answer, you are offended - you will never hear the truth again. Be prepared to calmly accept any answer, be open to constructive dialogue.
Read: rating of the best condoms TOP-10
Various life hacks5
Oral caresses increase sensitivity. Such an impact will not leave the girl indifferent. This needs to be done correctly - it is advisable to shave (no one likes stubble in a delicate place), position your partner comfortably - you can better put a soft pillow on your back and completely recline on them.
Stimulate the clitoris with different movements of the tongue, change the degree of impact, caress nearby areas with your fingers. With the right approach, the girl will quickly achieve orgasm.
During oral sex, it is better to ask how the partner feels, whether she likes everything and perhaps she wants some more influence. You shouldn’t be shy about these conversations, as they help you better understand the facets of someone else’s body.
To make sliding easier, use additional lubricant. It is generously poured onto the labia and rubbed over the entire surface. This will help reduce possible discomfort.
Some men are jealous of different toys. They feel that this infringes on their sexual dignity. In fact, with their help you can greatly diversify your intimate life. Additional stimulation with a small vibrator will help a woman reach her peak.
In order to increase sensitivity, you can use the “swing” method. For him, it is necessary to systematically bring his partner almost to orgasm, and then reduce the degree of caresses. They surround her with tenderness, but do not touch her genitals. After some time they bring it up again. This alternation helps to increase sensitivity. The orgasm will be bright and strong.
Don't worry if it doesn't work out the first time. Female pleasure is not such a simple matter. Try positions, different places for sex, change the degree of impact. For example, in the shower you can twist the shower head and leave only the hose. A strong stream of warm water should be directed at the clitoris and this will tease her greatly, causing a painful feeling.
Even in the regular missionary position you can have an orgasm. To do this, the man needs to slightly change the angle of penetration and increase the friction against his partner’s pubis. You can slightly spread the labia majora and this will provide access to the clitoris.
In the missionary position, it is difficult to stimulate the clitoris with your hands. It's better to choose a different position. For example, a woman rests her knees on the sofa and holds the back with her hands. She has her back to the man. He penetrates her from behind and this intensifies the sensations. You can stimulate the clitoris with your hands.
In order to understand how to get a girl an orgasm, you need to understand the features of anatomy, physiology, and psychology. Such information will help you become a skilled lover, and any woman will dream of sex with this man. The training may take a long time, but the results are worth it.
Do exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles6
Doctors prescribe Kegel exercises to patients who have problems with the genitourinary system. But strengthening the perineal muscles is useful not only in this case. The more developed your pelvic floor muscles are, the more pleasure you can get from vaginal sex. Exercise will also make your orgasm more intense. And your partner will love the force with which your contracting muscles will squeeze around his penis.
You will find even more useful information on how to get a vaginal orgasm in our next article further down the link.
Common myths 6
The topic of female orgasms has been hushed up for centuries. It was believed that girls should not have pleasure and their job was to satisfy men. Therefore, many myths can be found in this topic.
- The first - lack of orgasm - is not exactly frigid. Some men blame their partner for the inferiority of their body. In fact, women's orgasm follows a complex pattern. If she fails to achieve it, this is not a sign of problems.
- The second is the G point - the path to success. Scientists are still arguing whether it really exists. During stimulation, the passage of the bladder is affected and this irritates the area. Against this background, convulsions appear. But achieving orgasm in this way is almost impossible.
- Third - there is no jet orgasm. This is a scientifically proven fact. The female body is not capable of producing ejaculate. Fluid is released through urine. The bladder is compressed by the pubic bone, vagina and uterus - when compressed, it releases some fluid.
- Fourth - after reaching the peak, the woman relaxes. In fact, scientists identify several options. Yes, like a man, she can feel a pleasant weakness. If stimulation continues, the woman will have multiple orgasms. The third option is a long peak.
- Fifth is the duration of action. There is no concept of norm in achieving pleasure. Each organism is individual, has features of the nervous system. Therefore, you need to focus exclusively on personal needs and not try to fit them into any criteria.
- Sixth – loving people have simultaneous orgasm. Not really. Everyone has their own sensitivity threshold and it is difficult to synchronize. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with the fact that there will be a little disagreement in this process.
- Seventh, it's all about penis size. No, the size of the genital organ does not play a role. More important is the man’s ability to stimulate the clitoris, albeit indirectly. Then any girl will get an unforgettable orgasm.
- Eighth - orgasm is a woman’s problem. In a normal relationship, partners strive to please each other. Therefore, problems are also solved together.
Victoria Fomina
Expert
Doctor sexologist of the highest category, psychiatrist, psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for more than 10 years. I help couples resolve problems in their sex life.
Can female masturbation cause harm? Should a girl have an orgasm on her own, or should this matter be trusted exclusively to men? Research results indicate that female masturbation has only one benefit. Firstly, the girl studies her own body, recognizes the erogenous zones. Secondly, masturbation will allow you to get mental release, relieve stress and tension. Thirdly, the body remembers the sensations and movements used during self-satisfaction. This makes it much easier to achieve orgasm during sex.
Message from the Editor
Our team has tried to select for you only the most valuable and detailed information on this topic. And in conclusion, we offer one more unusual fact. Have any of you heard that when looking at a loved one, approximately the same thing happens to our body as during extreme entertainment - skydiving, kayaking down the river or riding a fast motorcycle? Adrenaline is released, which causes the famous “butterflies in the stomach.” At this very moment it seems to us that we are ready for any feat. And that’s really how it is, the main thing is not to stop and believe in yourself!
Multiple orgasm
Without exaggeration, we can say that this is a real gift from above for a girl. After all, it implies the ability to get an unlimited number of orgasms, and in a short period of time. This possibility depends on many factors, which include the level of libido (excitability), love for intimacy, sympathy for a partner, one’s own sensitivity and physiological characteristics.
Why does a woman have multiple orgasms? Because she was lucky with her physiology and partner. If some girls have difficulty reaching the peak at least once, then such lucky girls simply may not leave the state of climax.
It is important to note that there are two types of multiple orgasms.
The first one is in-line. Varies in duration. The girl begins to feel it at one moment, this continues for a certain time. The end point has not been determined. There are both minimums and maximums of intensity, but its characteristic feature is continuity. And this is accompanied by constant bursts of voluptuous trembling. For the girl herself, her feelings may come as a surprise, since even she does not know how strong the next “peak” will be.
The second type is wavy. It manifests itself in a whole series of consecutive orgasms, following one after another. Intervals can range from fractions of seconds to several minutes. True, in the second case these are sequential orgasms, and not multiple.
What is uterine orgasm
Uterine orgasm can be achieved if during sex the penis or dildo actively rubs against the cervix.
However, it should be understood that orgasm does not come solely due to stimulation of the cervix. Perhaps, in laboratory conditions, there is a chance to purposefully stimulate only this zone, but during real sex other erogenous zones are also affected. For example, the penis also actively touches the walls of the vagina, and also provides indirect stimulation of the clitoris. And all these factors, when combined, can give an incredibly powerful orgasm.
Who can experience a uterine orgasm3
Uterine orgasm is available to absolutely all women. A 2000 study showed that 35% of 128 women surveyed experienced orgasm from cervical stimulation.
But it should be understood that uterine orgasm requires very deep penetration. Not all women are ready for such an experience. However, this practice is completely safe under normal conditions. Another thing is that, for example, during pregnancy it is better to avoid deep penetration. Cramps, bleeding, discomfort are also clear signs that you should abstain from this type of sex.
If you don’t have anything like that, but you have a fear of deep penetration, try to do everything slowly. Ask your partner to take his time and be sure to tell him if you feel the slightest sign of pain during penetration.
Experiment with sex positions8
The best position for vaginal orgasm is the one that provides maximum stimulation of the clitoris or G-spot. Despite the fact that the proportions of women's bodies differ, sexologists recommend trying to achieve a vaginal orgasm in doggy style. In this position, the penis is more likely to hit the G-spot.
If you don't like this position, try riding your partner. The cowgirl position provides better G-spot stimulation. A nice bonus is that it allows you to control the pace, depth and angle of penetration.
Another option is sex on your partner's lap when you are face to face. This position not only facilitates clitoral stimulation, but also provides a high degree of intimacy: you can bask in each other's arms and look into each other's eyes.
Find out more about female sexology in our article.
Differences between orgasms in women and men
It should be noted that the female orgasm is longer than the male one, because it can last up to 23 seconds, while for men it is 2-3 shorter. Women are also capable of experiencing multiple orgasms. Multiple orgasms are experiencing orgasm more than once in a row. This is explained by the fact that a man needs time (for physiological reasons) to recover after coitus. When a woman's arousal lasts longer and she can (or can) be brought to orgasm many times.
In short, it is easier for a woman to come several times in a row, because she does not have to expend energy on renewing a new portion of seminal fluid.
Orgasm is an impulse in the brain, as a result of which dopamine is actively produced (a feeling of pleasure and enjoyment). Experiencing an orgasm helps you feel closeness and connection to the partner with whom you experience it.
The female orgasm can be multiple, and given that it is more elusive and mysterious than the male one, then this turns into a “search for the lost orgasm.” Research shows that women begin to experience orgasm more often in adulthood, when sexual and tactile experience accumulates. The main thing is that by this time she has established a harmonious connection with her body.
It must be recalled that sex is a sphere of the unconscious, where you are more likely representatives of the elements, rather than full-fledged individuals. Fears, thoughts and tension are completely useless here and can even cause harm.
