Test of strength
Unemployment is a serious life test, a test of the strength of the existing relationship between spouses. It is believed that sometimes a woman may not work, since this corresponds to her role as a homemaker that has developed over centuries. Since ancient times, a man has been a breadwinner who is obliged to take care of the material wealth of his family. And suddenly one day it turns out that the husband has lost his job. Nowadays, this, alas, is not uncommon.
Immediately, problems not only of a material, but also a moral nature begin in the family. The most common mistakes women make in this situation are to express dissatisfaction, make complaints, find fault with little things, and, finally, start constant quarrels and scandals.
It’s even worse if a woman subconsciously devalues her husband, begins to consider him a worthless loser, compares him with other successful men, thus constantly lowering her husband’s self-esteem.
Motivation for melancholic people
What can I do to help my husband find a good job? If the spouse is melancholic, then he needs to be pointed out in every possible way about his independence and the fact that he works very well.
Also, the wife should emphasize the point that as soon as her husband gets a job, everything in the family will begin to change for the better. The spouses will start buying new clothes, going on vacation together, etc.
The power of stereotypes
There are many reasons why finding a job is not so easy. Not least of all are psychological reasons. Often a person looking for a new job strives to find the same one as before (it doesn’t matter whether he was fired or he left it himself), where everything is already known, where the team is familiar and no one needs to prove his worth, where everyone appreciates and respects him. Therefore, when coming to an interview, a person unconsciously strives to leave a new and unusual place. This gives rise to excuses in the form of an inconvenient schedule, low salary, or more responsibilities. It can be very difficult to break yourself in order to start all over again, but you can’t do without it. In addition, there is often a stereotype in men’s logic that a man should earn more than a woman, so a man also does not want to agree to a modest salary at first, even with a good prospect. For his pride, it is easier to refuse the position altogether than to listen to his wife’s ironic remarks later.
The situation is aggravated by the fact that all relatives and friends know that the husband is sitting on his wife’s neck. From the point of view of public morality, a man cannot not work, so sidelong glances from others, sarcastic remarks behind his back, or even in his face, or even sympathetic sighs only add fuel to the fire. But both husband and wife should remember that only their family has the right to evaluate the situation, and should not get hung up on the opinions of others.
Motivation of cautious people
It happens that a husband cannot find a job for a year or even more. It is possible that he is just a very cautious person. What to do in such a situation? To solve the problem, you will need to help the man find existing vacancies by studying advertisements in newspapers or on the Internet. After this, by calling the company’s human resources department, you will need to tell your spouse about the advantages and disadvantages of the selected positions. In other words, a person should be helped to correctly decide on a profession.
In sorrow and joy, in wealth and poverty...
A wise, loving wife should understand that her husband’s unemployment is a temporary phenomenon, that at this moment it is no easier for him than for her, he is also worried and worried about the future. It’s worth having a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse, explaining that they believe in him, that over time everything will definitely work out. We need to sympathize and understand, encourage, become more sensitive and attentive.
It is necessary to “sort out” the whole situation, explain logically and without reproach that the husband’s unemployment harms the family, that there is barely enough money for the most necessary things, and that even his small salary would make life much easier.
You can try to help not only in word, but also in deed. For example, together with him, find suitable job options, provide assistance in writing a resume. The appearance of the spouse before the upcoming interview also directly depends on the woman’s care. Finally, the cry that the husband is looking for a job should be sent to all friends and acquaintances - suddenly something will be found. If a good option cannot be found, you should convince your husband to agree to any job to begin with, and then something worthy will turn up.
Reading a prayer
Believing women can turn to God or the saints for help. How can I help my husband find a job? A prayer addressed to one of the Lord’s saints is considered the most effective. Most often, wives who want their husband to become a real breadwinner for the family turn to Matrona of Moscow - a blessed old woman who, during her lifetime, satisfied the requests of a huge number of needy and suffering people.
She helps people even after her death. The prayer addressed to Matronushka is very effective for someone who really wants to find a job reliably and quickly. The words of her text are as follows:
Our holy blessed mother Matrona, with your holy prayers help the servant of God (name) to find a job convenient for salvation and spiritual growth, so that he may grow rich in God and not waste his soul on the worldly - vain and sinful.
Help him find a merciful employer who does not trample on the commandments of God and does not force those who work under him to work on Sundays and holy holidays. May the Lord God protect the servant of God (name) in the place of his labors from all evil and temptation, may this work be for his salvation, for the benefit of the Church and the Fatherland, and for the joy of his parents. Amen.
In any case, a woman should not give up. And then the husband will certainly find a new job, and all the difficulties will be forgotten.
Hearth Keeper
There is another option. If for some reason the husband does not want to look for a job now, let him take on the responsibilities of a housewife. Then the roles will be distributed as follows: the wife builds a career and earns money, and the husband does all the housework, cleans and cooks, does shopping, raises children, in general, does everything that a woman usually does in a family. If the husband treats this with understanding, conflicts will not arise, but if he is not in the mood to fulfill women's duties, you should talk to him gently, explain that there is nothing humiliating in this, that this is temporary, until he starts working again.
Since not every man is accustomed to housework, at first it is better to make him a list of necessary things to do, as if to set a certain algorithm of behavior. By the way, having worked at home, many men understand that it is much better to be in the service and, after all, it is not a man’s business to sit at home. Or perhaps an exchange of roles will suit both spouses. After all, a woman can be a breadwinner, and a man can be a homemaker.
The only negative is that the situation may cease to be comfortable at any moment. After all, there is a risk that not everything will go smoothly at work for the wife, health problems may arise, and finally, pregnancy and the birth of a child are also in question.
Motivation for misanthropes
Husband can't find a job? What should a woman do? Psychologists recommend motivating your significant other based on the type of man. So, if he is a misanthrope, that is, a person who avoids communication with others, then he must either do something that will make him love people, or choose a direction for activity where there is no communication at all. For this type of man, there is freelancing. This is a remote job that does not involve contact or communication with people. It allows a person to earn money while being outside the team. Communication in this case is possible only through correspondence using the Internet.
If the husband cannot find a job, then you can advise him to open a private enterprise. This direction will be an excellent option for those people who are good specialists in their field and can do something with their own hands. This offer will be attractive for tailors, jewelers, leather craftsmen, etc. Such work will allow minimal contact with people.
hope dies last
What if the spouse doesn’t want to work or take care of the house, if he spends the whole day lying down with a beer on the sofa watching TV or surfing the Internet? Well, then it is quite likely that before us is a man who is essentially a gigolo. As a rule, this “breed” can be seen at the very beginning, when relationships are just starting. Everything here is determined by a woman’s choice.
Some independent businesswomen are completely satisfied with this state of affairs. In this case, the husband is a spectacular decorative addition to the wife’s person, accompanying her everywhere and, as it were, complementing her image. This is why the woman finances him. Well, everyone decides for themselves how to live. The chances that such a man will suddenly change and come to his senses, or rather get to work, are negligible. But love is evil. And as long as there is even the slightest hope, it is worth fighting.
It is absolutely useless to nag and persuade such a husband. It is impossible to forcibly change and re-educate an adult. He must himself realize the need for change.
The first step is to monopolize all the money you receive. Spend it on food, on necessary things for the home, on yourself and your child, and don’t allocate a single penny to your spouse. Stop serving the parasite, let him do everything himself. From time to time, say how tired you are, how hard it is for you, how expensive everything around you is. If all this does not lead to a positive result, threaten with divorce. Give him an ultimatum: either he gets a job or you break up. Divorce is, of course, an extreme measure, but sometimes the fear of losing a loved one has a sobering effect, and the lazy person begins to make some gestures.
But what if all attempts to guide your husband on the right path were in vain? Think about it, is this the person you want to continue your life with? Do you agree to support him until retirement? Soberly weigh the pros and cons, try to understand whether you are able to come to terms with this state of affairs. If yes, be patient, but if not, then move forward towards a new, happy personal life.
Contagion with optimism
Why can't my husband find a job? Sometimes a spouse who is confident that he must support and protect the family, ceasing to perform these functions, falls into a panic. He is overcome by fear, guilt and awareness of his own inferiority. All this becomes the reason that first he is angry with himself, and then with his relatives, friends, wife and children. Behind their sympathetic glances, he sees only mockery. As a result, the man turns into a kind of “sufferer”. He spends the free time he has on self-flagellation. Such a person seeks to escape reality, plays computer games and surfs the Internet. The man focuses entirely on his virtual world. At the same time, he completely forgets about his wife, who bears the burden of family problems and constantly calms and encourages him.
However, psychologists do not recommend that a woman focus her attention on the problem that has arisen. She should not react to her husband’s self-criticism and his unfounded aggressive statements. It will be better if a woman begins to bring joy to the house and infect her husband with optimism. Of course, doing this in such a situation is quite difficult. In addition, psychologists do not recommend creating even the slightest hint of artificial fun. After all, the partner will instantly feel this mood and perceive everything as nothing more than pity and an attempt to fool him.
If the husband cannot find a job, what should the woman do? First of all, be happy and try to create an atmosphere in the house that will allow partners to move away from the negative situation and take their relationship to a completely different level. But getting away from an existing problem does not mean forgetting about it. It is absolutely necessary to solve it, but it is best to do it together. To do this, you should search for suitable vacancies and jointly analyze new opportunities.
