Trust is a strong foundation on which any relationship is based. How many people think about what it means to trust each other? Feeling constant support from your partner and knowing that you can rely on him in any situation, even the most difficult one, is exactly what most people expect from a relationship. But despite the love, trust can leave the relationship, and then it can easily be destroyed. Often, confidence in your significant other can disappear due to the misconduct of one of the partners or because of the jealousy of the other.
The main essence of love is trust. Anne-Louise Germaine de Staël
What does it mean to trust a partner?
Let us note that trust is a kind of spiritual state of a person, an attitude towards life . In this article we are talking about attitude towards one person, namely your lover.
In this case, trust is the confidence that your significant other will react to the situation in the way you expected, or not.
So, for example, we are full of confidence that our young man will not betray you with a girl he meets in a restaurant while meeting with friends, because there is trust. The girl lets her beloved go to the bathhouse with her friends, because there will be no other girls there, and in a couple there is such a thing as trust.
Read about what to do if the girl you love is lying and how to learn to trust her in this article.
Let us note, however, that trust is a very fragile feeling and not as stable as, for example, love. It quickly collapses and in order to restore it, you need to try very hard. And even if you try to restore it, the feeling of apprehension and suspicion will remain with you forever.
The calm and comfortable life of two people depends mainly on a high degree of trust. In order to learn to trust your lover, you should find the reasons for his absence.
Cut off old connections
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If you are the same person who, having committed infidelity, betrayed the trust of your partner, you need to cut off all ties with the person with whom you cheated.
. This means that it is necessary to exclude all phone calls, all messages, all email correspondence, not to mention any personal visits.
Once you and your partner have decided to go through this situation together, there should be no “last or goodbye” meetings with the one with whom you cheated. No contact at all!
If you've decided to leave this stage of your life behind, then that's where it belongs. Your partner who is trying to forgive you deserves it.
Perhaps you had reasons for doing what you did. However, you now have even more reasons to restore your broken relationship.
. And if you try to do this by maintaining contact with “that person,” then you will not succeed.
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Even if you have business ties with such a person, cut them off too. Otherwise, your partner simply will not have enough internal strength to restore his trust.
to you. Few people are ready to accept the fact that their partner maintains at least some connection with the person who almost destroyed their life together.
What if trust is broken?
If trust has been seriously undermined, then in order to restore it, be prepared for the fact that you will need a lot of time.
The main thing you need is to survive the pain of betrayal. After this happens, the stage of hatred towards the one who offended you will begin. After the feeling of hatred comes doubt about a person’s reliability, which prevents the restoration of relationships or the creation of new ones.
None of these stages should be skipped; all of them must be experienced in the specified order. Otherwise, there is a possibility that the feeling of resentment will increase several times.
Remember, even if you do not want to continue the relationship after the fact of betrayal, it should not end in hatred. Let go of the situation, forgive the person who offended you, and move on with your life.
A person may stop trusting his significant other for the following reasons:
Trust is broken
Loss of trust will be a real test for any woman, since she trusted her man, treated him sincerely, and he acted treacherously towards her.
In Rus' they said that having committed a bad deed once, a person will not miss the opportunity to repeat it. It can be contrasted with an Arabic proverb that says that there is no guarantee that having acted badly once, a person will do the same a second time. But if he did this for the second time, then there will definitely be a third. You can forgive a single offense, because we can all make mistakes.
Your jealousy knows no bounds
Jealousy can be overcome by meditating, seeking help from a psychologist, or reading scientific literature, but remember that you should not limit a person’s freedom of action just because you are under the influence of prejudice.
We need to answer the question: are you afraid of losing your boyfriend because he will cheat on you? In this case, you should set a trap and observe - will your other half become its victim?
"I'm not worthy..."
“I'm afraid to do (say) something wrong. I'm afraid to open up, to show him who I really am. He won’t accept me like this, he’ll leave, run away...”
Of course, no one excludes such a development of events. But, as they say, he who does not take risks does not drink champagne, and only those who do nothing make no mistakes. Yes, creating new harmonious relationships is not easy. But a quality relationship is a pleasant journey to the best version of yourself, the one for whom everything works out perfectly.
Perhaps your inner mistrust is based on childhood trauma or past failed relationships. Or maybe you don’t value yourself enough, believing that you are unworthy of happiness. Another facet of mistrust is excessive trust in the past: you once surrendered completely into the hands of a man who betrayed you, and now you are afraid to trust a new person.
Learn to build boundaries - you shouldn’t completely trust your new partner with your life, but you shouldn’t suspect him of “all mortal sins.” Trust in a relationship is built gradually, through tenderness and care on both sides. Over time, you will overcome your inner fears and be able to create harmonious relationships from scratch, without bringing into them the burden of past unsuccessful unions.
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Hello, dear girls. My name is Yulia Svetlaya. I am a loving wife and mother of small children. Long-time reader of the “I Want to Fly” website and participant in the School of Femininity. I love my family. I love travel and bright emotions. And I’m also very interested in HOW exactly to LIVE SOUL IN SOUL with your husband. How to build relationships so that there is love and harmony. And recently I came to a very interesting realization on this topic. How exactly do you get goodies from your husband? So that he fulfills your wishes. HOW TO BELIEVE IN HIM? And is this necessary? Or is it easier to do everything yourself?
I lived in a scary, rented apartment. With peeling wallpaper, rotten furniture from the time of grandparents. With old refrigerators, where the freezer lid is held on by a string. With curtains that are held on by a thick layer of tape. And the worst thing about this was that the owners did not want to change anything in this apartment. And when I suggested at least something to be improved, the answer was refusal. Therefore, the easiest thing in this situation is to find a new apartment.
I am at home with a one-year-old child, my husband is looking for apartments. He had been looking for a new apartment for two months and there were still no good options. I was just under terrible stress for several days. I called him and asked: “Well, how? Is there anything? The options that were available did not suit me, because these were again similar apartments. I was angry and worried.
And then on Thursday afternoon I realized the reason for my stress - I DO NOT TRUST my husband. I DO NOT BELIEVE he can find a good option. I don't believe he can negotiate well. And in this state, I wanted to DO IT MYSELF - look at the ads myself, look for options myself, CONTROL exactly how my husband was doing the search. And I realized that my NOT FAITH in my husband is the same thing as NOT FAITH IN GOD. I don't trust God to provide everything I need and want. That all my wishes come true. I felt that when you DON’T BELIEVE, the desire to do everything yourself immediately appears. And this is very stressful for a woman. Because I know that my resources are limited, that I have small children and so on. And that is why I have been so stressed in recent days.
This realization already helped me. Then I began to remember how much my husband does to finally find us an apartment. Looks at different sites, looks at options without intermediaries, communicates with realtors. And I had a feeling of gratitude towards him. Just a huge THANK YOU for being involved in these searches yourself. And he only discusses options with me. Thank you! Thank you, Darling! That you protect me and care for me.
I also really, really wanted to rest and relax from all this tension. For me, these are some kind of water procedures: a bath, a sauna with girlfriends, and the like. I promised myself that today I would rest and relax. And after this promise to myself, I felt how it became easier for me to BELIEVE. Trust my husband, trust that he will find something I like. Believe God. My soul became lighter. It has become easier to BELIEVE that your husband will succeed! That he will succeed! And there was no desire left to do everything for him.
As a result, I relaxed and started watching cartoons with the children.
And 2 hours later my husband calls and says that there is an option - in a wonderful new house with a good renovation. And another option - in an old house, but also in good repair. In the evening we went to look at the apartment. And on Saturday we already moved to a new apartment.
And she's gorgeous!!!!!! I'm just delighted!!!! The apartment is in a new brick building, in which the yard and parking are fenced. There are several playgrounds on the territory, a table tennis table, sports equipment, a basketball court, sandboxes, and swings. I have never seen such abundance in the yard before. It's also far from other houses. In a large city this is very important. Now many new neighborhoods are being built very, very densely, there is really no place for children to play and there is no place for parking. The apartment itself is also wonderful. Lots of appliances, a dishwasher (I've never had one before), a large refrigerator, a good kitchen and a convenient dressing room. And the bath is just a song! It is angular and large. That you can swim there with all the children. Now I have my own personal lake!
This is my success! And my husband's success! I congratulated him. He is my winner! Just yesterday I was freaking out and worried. And 2 hours after my realization, such a wonderful option appeared! I also realized one more important thing - my FAITH is a really important resource for my husband. And his success! And when he wins, it’s much more pleasant than if I did it myself.
Now let me highlight what exactly led to such a wonderful result?
1. Awareness of the cause of stress.
2. Gratitude. The realization that my husband really does a lot and tries to fulfill my requests and desires.
3. Relaxation. Rest. Filling yourself with lunar energy.
4. And that’s it))))) everything goes into your hands ))))))
I wish you to have more BELIEVE in your men. Believe that they can achieve success. And that they will be able to fulfill all our desires.
Have you ever had situations when faith in a man, faith in a person did miracles? Write about it in the comments below.
Comments on the article
- Volnaya Olya
:06/27/2014 at 10:03
I got goosebumps down my spine I got goosebumps down my back when I read it. Thank you for sharing, this is very inspiring, I often catch myself thinking like this.
Answer
Yulia Svetlaya
:
06/30/2014 at 08:29
Olya, I’m glad to see your goosebumps! Olya, I’m glad to see your goosebumps! Thank you!
Answer
:
06/27/2014 at 20:09
Julia, very nice Julia, very nice to meet you!! And it’s even more pleasant to read you)
HOW relevant this topic is now - here is another confirmation)) My awareness of faith in my husband came much earlier. But I'm still working on it)))
In small things, this has already become a rule, and even with regard to apartments it happened quite recently! My husband was looking for a rented apartment in Nice while working locally. And here in Moscow I was worried and tried to help. And as soon as I relaxed and FELT faith in Him (with my brain, I know a lot of things) - by force of will I stopped myself from looking at housing sites, and told myself “he will find it!” And literally a couple of days later I found it))) I haven’t been there yet, we’ll fly in mid-July with my daughter, but I already admired his ability to find such an apartment!)) This is another skill that I’m developing in myself - praising him for his work
