Let's be honest: more than half of all women in the world have never experienced an orgasm. Or they experienced it, but not the way it is described in the books. Unlike men, who are immediately noticeably pleased, whether they like it or not, a woman can easily deceive her partner and never admit that the next intercourse brought nothing but disappointment.
In fact, this is sad information, because the fair half of humanity simply cannot enjoy sexual contact, turning it into torture and unknowingly lowering their libido. In this article we will touch on the topic of non-contact orgasm.
Introduction
Every woman is beautiful in her own way and deserves complete relaxation, pleasure and buzz. If she does not receive this, then all the accumulated energy is poured into something else, but this feeling of dissatisfaction and inferiority begins to haunt her. This is where complexes, tightness and a lack of desire to ever practice all sorts of vicissitudes appear. Let's find out how to learn a non-contact orgasm, what it actually is and why every woman is simply obliged to take care of her body throughout her life in order to receive incredible pleasure on an equal basis with men.
Masturbate more often
Masturbation is an ideal way to get to know your body's needs on the way to orgasm.
In general, it doesn't matter what technique you use when masturbating. There is only one meaning: direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris leads to orgasm for most women. From the many options, five techniques for working with the clitoris can be distinguished:
- diagonal movements;
- circular movements;
- movements up and down on one side;
- movements left and right;
- movements that describe a figure of eight around the clitoris.
To start, you can simply explore the clitoral area using circular movements.
What should you do if you achieve orgasm on your own, but can’t achieve orgasm with your partner? Pay attention to your movements during masturbation. What techniques work? How does the body respond to finger work, and what does it not respond to?
Self-pleasure
A non-contact orgasm can be achieved if a woman trains her vaginal muscles for a long time. This activity is called Kegel exercises. The essence of the technique is for the woman to keep her intimate muscles toned all the time.
The main problem of all women is the inability to have an orgasm. This is influenced by both their psychological and emotional state, as well as their physical one. Sometimes a girl is able to relax, tune in to the desired wave, and disconnect from all worldly worries, but she cannot get an orgasm herself, because the whole process, as a rule, goes very slowly and for a long time. This makes a woman nervous, tense and irritated, so Kegel exercises in this case are simply necessary.
To get a non-contact orgasm, a trained girl just needs to squeeze and unclench the vaginal muscles, thereby regulating her sensations. At the same time, this type of pleasure should not be confused with masturbation - neither additional toys nor manual assistance are used here. Those women who have been practicing Kegel exercises for a long time note that they are able to give themselves pleasure at any time of the day or night, while at home, at work or even on the bus (in any other crowded place).
Consult your doctor
The struggle for orgasm should start with a visit to the doctor: anorgasmia may have medical roots. These include various types of diseases, mainly neurological, and gynecological problems such as dryness or age-related changes in the vagina.
The ability to experience orgasm is also affected by taking certain medications: antihistamines, antidepressants or medications to normalize blood pressure.
The general psychological state can become an obstacle to bliss. Depression, depression or increased excitability will not allow you to relax in bed. We won’t even talk about drugs and alcohol abuse. It may seem that a couple of glasses before sex will calm your nerves and help relieve tension, but if you have problems achieving orgasm, you should replace alcohol with herbal tea.
Tantric sex
In addition to bodily pleasure, you can also get a so-called energetic orgasm. Of course, such a Hindu practice is questionable, because it represents the receipt of incredible sensations on a telepathic level. Is this true or fiction? Is there a non-contact orgasm, or as it is also called - tantric sex?
In fact, this practice is the highest form of intimacy. Not animal passion, but namely receiving pleasure through knowledge of oneself and one’s partner. Ordinary sex involves intercourse and penetration, but the fact that people began to develop an energetic connection is something else. Of course, this practice is to release all the accumulated energy during intimacy and transfer it to your partner, literally connecting you at the highest level.
One of the dubious variations of tantric sex is getting pleasure without touching each other. In this case, the partners can be as close as possible or live in different cities. The point is that both a man and a woman at one moment begin to immerse themselves in some kind of meditation in order to connect on a telepathic level, penetrate the body of the other and deliver incredible sensations.
In fact, this practice is much more spiritual and deeper than it is described. Some people believe that tantric sex is when patriarchy is established in the family and the woman becomes submissive, while others believe that you need to open your subconscious and let your partner in there. Confident psychologists even claim that with a good desire, you can achieve the first results in just 10 minutes and no more. But we will tell you how reliable this information is a little later.
Fear of intimacy
But friends alone won't help matters. Of course, after a month and a half of my experiment, I began to boast that I had entered a “chastity” school, but it was completely obvious to me that sex was still necessary. Not only to satisfy a basic need, but also to break the neural chain of habit and replace sexual associations that are harmful to me with healthy ones. It often happened that when I thought about sex with real people, pictures from porn popped up in my imagination, and the plots of games came in my dreams.
I understand perfectly well that real sex has little in common with virtual content (and that’s good!), but this understanding does not help change the usual content of my ideas about sexuality.
I began to worry that I would begin to sacralize the topic of abstinence—which would mean falling from one unhealthy relationship to another. It’s great that I manage to live without porn - but these are not just pictures, this is a whole layer of my inner life associated with my sexuality and orgasm.
A long-term Dutch study found that viewing Internet pornography reduced the level of satisfaction with their sex lives among young adults of both sexes aged 13 to 20.
I still don’t know how my whole story will affect my close relationships with people. Until day 65 of the experiment, thoughts about sex with people sometimes conjured up scenes from porn - this scared me.
What if, for fear of causing an association with my former bad habit, I will be wary of any intimate contacts? Or will I start looking for “that very person” who will never exist?
Kegel exercises
Arnold Kegel was a successful gynecologist of the 20th century. He paid attention to the relaxation of the pelvic muscles, the lack of tone and elasticity of the tissues, so he developed an effective exercise, which was later named after the creator.
How does the complex affect a woman’s life:
- Firstly, if you keep your intimate muscles in good condition, it will be much easier for a woman to give birth. The process itself becomes less painful and faster, since the ability to contract and relax tissue allows you to literally push the baby out of the womb.
- Secondly, Kegel exercises can restore sex life after childbirth, when all tissues lose tone and become more stretched and flabby.
- Thirdly, the complex prevents pathologies of the pelvic organs, in particular prolapse.
- Fourthly, exercise allows you to achieve an incredible orgasm, increases libido and, accordingly, has a beneficial effect on a woman’s mental state.
How to train
There is a popular non-contact orgasm technique based on the famous Kegel exercises. You need to train your intimate muscles with the same persistence as you would go to the gym in order to become the owner of elastic buttocks and a flat tummy. It is not fair that women all over the world ignore this part of the body, looking for the reason for the lack of orgasm only in a man or in fictitious physiological pathologies. So, how to train your deepest muscles?
- There is an interesting simulator that is used in the exercises. It is a small ball on a rope or a series of such spheres (2-4 pieces). Each toy differs in size and diameter, depending on the woman’s success. Using this “device” is simple: just wash your hands thoroughly with soap, treat the exercise machine, insert it into the vagina, and then slowly squeeze the muscles, holding in a state of tension for 5-10 seconds. The main feature of this toy is that it only takes 2-3 weeks for the first results to appear. To develop intimate muscles, you can use different combinations, tensing the muscles with delay, with breaks, and with great frequency.
- If you don't have a simulator, it doesn't matter. You can also exercise in “handicraft” conditions, simply contracting and relaxing your muscles in your free time. It is advisable to do the exercises every day, for 5-10 minutes. Train yourself to train your intimate muscles at any time and you will be able to exercise when you go to school or work, while doing household chores or even during coitus. In any case, the technique of non-contact orgasm is to keep the vaginal muscles toned.
Variants of orgasm in men
How can a man get more pleasure from masturbation? Young people may experience different sensations depending on the type of orgasm. Physiological involves going through all of the above stages sequentially. In this case, the maximum degree of pleasure can manifest itself as follows: ejaculation after masturbation or sexual contact with a partner (does not depend on the type of intimacy: oral, anal or vaginal sex), without ejaculation (the method is based on special practices that do not involve touching), emission ( occurs during sleep and, as a rule, during adolescence). During a wet dream there are no vivid sensations.
How to get pleasure without masturbation? Mental orgasm can be achieved as a result of viewing photographs or videos of a pornographic or erotic nature. If pathological processes in the organs of the genitourinary system are not observed, then the man experiences excessive tension, as a result of which he achieves orgasm without touching. This applies more to young people and men with a vivid imagination. This way you can speed up orgasm before masturbation or sexual intercourse with a woman.
Psychological orgasm is the norm for adolescents, and for older men, in some cases, this may be a sign of a pathological process that is chronic. Some sexologists are also of the opinion that psychological orgasm is more often experienced by men with an unstable intimate life. But at the same time, watching films or photographs of pornographic or erotic content, as well as engaging in fantasy, are a good answer to the question of how to get more pleasure from masturbation for a man.
Physical orgasm is achieved with any type of stimulation of the penis. The process includes normal ejaculation as a result of sexual intercourse, masturbation or wet dream. This group also includes pathological types of pleasure.
How to please yourself
How to get a non-contact orgasm without resorting to masturbation and using sex toys? First, do Kegel exercises conscientiously every day - and within a month you will feel that contracting and relaxing your muscles brings you pleasure. Secondly, relax as much as possible and take a comfortable position. It is advisable to lie on your back and bend your knees. Place a small bolster under the pelvis to elevate it. If you find it easier to enjoy yourself with your eyes closed, then plunge into darkness. Begin to slowly squeeze and unclench your vaginal muscles. Feel how your blood circulation improves and how excitement takes over you. To sharpen the sensation, you can caress yourself with your hand, touching the inner thighs, chest, stomach and other erogenous zones, but trying not to touch the clitoris. Your task is to get pleasure by stimulating only the vaginal muscles and the treasured G-spot.
Don't be upset if you don't have an orgasm the first time. Try again after a week of training. You must feel your body as much as possible, understand how it works, listening to its requests.
How to make a girl cum: tips for men
Representatives of the stronger sex most often have to be puzzled by the question of how to quickly make a girl cum faster and more naturally, since their self-esteem and confidence in their sexual capabilities depend on this. Here you could get by with standard advice like: kiss behind the ear, whisper tender words, penetrate deeper.
In fact, there are a great many secrets of how you can help a girl cum quickly, and the final option depends on the individual characteristics of her body, psychological state, atmosphere and other nuances.
Here are some practical recommendations on what can make a lady fake an orgasm:
- The vast majority of guys love it when their partner throws her legs over their shoulders. In this case, women’s hips are tightly squeezed by men’s elbows, which leads to the most unfavorable body position. In this position, the lady will not only not receive her long-awaited orgasm, but will also feel like a prisoner;
- Bringing your beloved to ecstasy does not mean that her buttocks should be squeezed with great force, pinched or patted. Few people like such experiments, but they make others feel confused and awkward;
- The girl should not be put in her favorite poses like a boss. According to unspoken statistics, most guys love it when their partners legs are raised almost to the ceiling. In this position, the clitoris receives a minimal amount of friction against the penis, and there can be no talk of any quick orgasm;
- Women are more likely to cum if they feel like they are, if not full-fledged mistresses of the situation, but at least the most beautiful, liberated, sexy and attractive. If a man manages to learn to occasionally play a supporting role, then the movements of his chosen one will become rhythmic, wave-like and leading to the rapid onset of ecstasy;
- For many women, a groan does not mean at all that they will cum here and now, this very second, but a sign that they feel incredibly good at the moment. It’s a pity, the overwhelming majority of representatives of the stronger sex are convinced that they need to penetrate more and deeper into the vagina, speed up the rhythm of their movements and in every possible way bring themselves to the completion of sexual intercourse;
- Under no circumstances should sex be made into something like an interrogation or continuation of a date. This means that during the process you should not ask your partner any clarifying or other questions; it is better to find out everything at the level of intuition, sighs, glances and facial expressions. This gives a woman the opportunity not to be distracted by thinking and searching for the right answers, but simply enjoy what is happening.
The most interesting thing is that there is also a completely opposite situation, in which a man has to decide what to do if his girlfriend cums too quickly when he is just getting the hang of it. First, it’s worth figuring out why exactly the girl cums quickly, and whose fault it is.
The first reason can be considered too long foreplay, after which overstimulation sets in, and the woman cums after just a few frictions.
In such a situation, you do not need to ask your partner whether all the girls cum quickly, or only she alone, but feel free to continue sexual intercourse, since ladies are capable of experiencing several ecstasies in a row. It’s better to just ask the girl to warn you in advance about the approaching moment X, and arrange an intermission lasting a few seconds.
Also, the answer to why sexual intercourse quickly ended due to the woman achieving her orgasm may be hidden in the position you took together. In some of them, the clitoris is stimulated very strongly, and arousal very soon reaches its climax. In this situation, it is enough to simply change position and continue to enjoy sex.
Read also: What increases testosterone in men
By the way, it will be said that an extremely fast orgasm in a girl can be the result of drinking alcohol before sexual intercourse, or a side effect of her physiological characteristics. In the latter case, everything can be corrected by using specific sex toys that prolong mutual pleasure.
Debunking myths
Non-contact orgasm - true or false? If we talk about getting pleasure by training intimate muscles, then this is a very real truth, supported by many reviews of women who have practiced and practice Kegel exercises to this day. But an energetic orgasm is the same as the existence of psychics, ghosts or time travel.
It is not yet possible to prove the existence of such an energy exchange, since the practice itself involves the transformation of all accumulated light into barely noticeable vibrations that can only be felt by a person with open chakras.
The power of thought
Let's find out how a non-contact orgasm is achieved by redirecting energy. You can tune in to the right wave not in a fit of sudden passion, but through a deep feeling of love and tenderness. Attraction to a partner should be on a spiritual level, when even hugs make you feel like a fire has broken out in your chest.
The meaning of Tantra is to direct all sexual energy to human development, to eradicate animal instincts, which practically do not distinguish us from other creatures on the planet. It is believed that an energetic orgasm is enlightenment and spiritual development, a new stage in evolution. At the same time, it is a mistake to believe that such pleasure should feel similar to ordinary animal intercourse.
Put on your socks
This is both humorous and absolutely serious advice. Our brain constantly receives signals from the body about what state it is in. These multiple signals and the thoughts they generate constantly compete for our attention. It's difficult to achieve orgasm when your head is focused not on what's going on in your genitals, but on the fact that your feet are cold or that you feel fat.
Female representatives are especially prone to react to such stimuli. This also applies to the animal world. Alfred Kinsey, studying the sexual behavior of rats, noticed that females, unlike males, were easily distracted when attractive pieces of cheese were thrown at them during sexual intercourse.
What conclusions can be drawn from this? First of all, you need to create conditions under which you are completely focused on having fun. If that means turning off the lights, or putting on socks, or keeping a T-shirt on, do it. Be kind to yourself. Orgasm will come when you feel comfortable (both physically and psychologically) and can abstract from everything except sex. This is the most difficult thing, and this is what many people forget.
What sensations should tantric sex evoke?
You do not experience completion through coitus, as is commonly believed. There will not be these tides and bright physiological surges, but the fact that you will be able to slightly open the doors to your subconscious is for sure.
Numerous reviews prove that a non-contact female orgasm on an energetic level gives a feeling of lightness and flight. This can only be compared to meditation and immersion, moving away from all worldly concerns. Energy orgasm is a misnomer. It is better to give this feeling a term - energetic growth of consciousness, which gives an incredible feeling of pleasure.
Best method
A non-contact orgasm can only be achieved after both partners are mentally prepared for the new experience. It is important to understand that this is not quite the usual intercourse, so men or women may begin to feel embarrassed, losing trust in each other. The main feature of this practice is that partners should not wait for the desired result, but should completely immerse themselves in the process, because this is what the methodology is focused on.
It is better to learn tantric sex in a cozy environment. You don’t have to do this at home; you can do it outdoors and rent a nice hotel room. Your environment should invite you to experience new things, so don't be afraid to use oriental incense sticks, patchouli and ylang-ylang essential oils, candles, soft pillows and carrier oils (grapeseed, peach, olive).
The main stage is orgasm during sex
Once you get to know your body through masturbation, you can try to achieve pleasure during sex with your partner. How to get an orgasm correctly? Talk first! Let your partner be aware of how it is easier for a woman to achieve orgasm, because in his head this process may look completely different! And only then it’s worth moving on to practice.
How to guarantee an orgasm during sex? To begin with, it is worth providing high-quality foreplay. Let everything that puts the girl in the right mood go into use: romantic music, dim lighting, exciting smells, compliments, light touches, kisses. Then, when the level of lust begins to increase, you can move on to hotter caresses.
As for the choice of poses, the emphasis should be on those where the clitoris is stimulated. For example, the cowgirl position, in which the woman's external genitalia is in contact with the man's pubis. Another good position is on all fours. A man can caress a girl’s clitoris with his hands, because he has them completely free.
How to prepare mentally
Tantric sex is a very capricious technique, so it is very important to completely relax and avoid a state of discomfort. If you are stiff and prone to embarrassment, then it will be almost impossible to have an energetic orgasm.
Tantra itself is a slow and deep process, so it is recommended to start while wearing clothes. Everything should happen smoothly, do not forget about light kisses, slow undressing, languid breathing. At this moment, it is important to feel what you feel - touch, warmth inside, pleasant excitement, heartbeat. Don't focus on stimulating the most erogenous zones!
Easy practice
Do you want to feel an energetic orgasm? Connect all your senses, especially tactile sensations. Place your hand on your partner's chest and hear his heart beat. Try to adjust your breathing to the same pace, without speeding up or slowing down each other.
Don't lose eye contact, hug each other as if you are trying to penetrate your partner's body and touch the deepest corners of the soul. Massage your body, but not just the erogenous zones, as this is not sexual stimulation. You should not strive to get a physical orgasm, but only to enjoy and feel the energy of your partner. After this practice, sex can happen, but it is not necessary. The main thing here is that you will enjoy the process and sensuality, and reveal your feminine and masculine principles.
How can a woman achieve orgasm?
So, we give some tips on what a lady who wants to get an orgasm as soon as possible needs to do:
- Shortly before foreplay, eat chocolate and drink sweet red wine. Be sure to indulge in seafood delicacies, cheese, caviar and other aphrodisiacs, but only in moderation;
- Try the influence of perfume with pheromones;
- A girl should tidy up the hair on her body: shave her armpits, remove pubic hair, or get an intimate haircut on it. It is believed that a woman cums much faster if she has no hair in her intimate area, and all erogenous points are lubricated with stimulating creams in advance;
- One of the most effective ways to learn how to cum quickly is considered to be masturbation, and a girl does not have to be a guru in this matter. The main thing is to become familiar with the intricacies of female orgasm and self-satisfaction techniques, and apply the most appropriate one immediately before sexual intercourse, without bringing yourself to an extreme degree of arousal. If this works, then you will be able to cum literally after the very first seconds of intercourse with a man;
- Sometimes it is possible to quickly reach the climax of sexual intercourse only if the girl takes a dominant position and begins to direct her partner’s actions in the right direction. In this case, she herself will have to change positions, rhythm and depth of penetration, excite herself and her chosen one;
- It is believed that a girl whose period just ended a few days ago will have an orgasm in an extremely short time. Try to experience a similar feature of the female body.
If at the first sexual contact it turns out that a man is a “quick shooter,” do not rush to give him a red light. It is quite possible that after resting, he will definitely bring you to orgasm the second time. In such a situation, it is recommended to delay the process of ejaculation yourself, getting off your partner’s genitals at the very peak moment, and giving him a chance to regain his composure.