A woman is perhaps the only creature in the world who can doubt the correctness of a particular decision all her life. After all, life constantly offers a large selection of men, professions and styles, among which it is so easy to get confused and confused. Those individuals who are absolutely convinced of the correctness of their decisions, emotions and feelings are truly happy people. But there are also those who constantly ask questions and reflections, assumptions and doubts. How can you truly understand your feelings and check their “authenticity”?
Ways to evaluate the “truth” of feelings
There are several methods to recognize real feelings among false ones.
- If a man has already singled out a woman from the crowd of others, all that remains is to recognize his true intentions, which most often manifest themselves in actions, not words. For example, you can ask a guy for help or share something that worries you. If a response is received, then, most likely, the man is really serious and is not caring for the woman for selfish purposes.
- You can also evaluate how close this person is to you and how much you have in common and bring together. If conversations find their way, you have common friends, goals, dreams and interests - then great! But if it is very difficult to start any conversation, you constantly feel stiffness and tension, it is better to stop such exhausting communication.
- To understand your feelings for a particular man, you should get to know him better. The opportunity to travel a little together is an ideal opportunity. You will find yourself in a variety of situations in which a person will definitely prove himself. You will be able to realize whether you really love this person. Or you will realize that this is not Him, and your paths will diverge.
- Taking a temporary break is a great way to self-reflect. Even if you live in the same city, you can arrange the opportunity not to see each other for a certain time. To do this, you just need to ask the guy not to come and not call for a while. It is also better to exclude all messages; when silence comes, it is better for the girl to analyze how often she remembers her beloved, whether she likes other men. The duration of such separation is determined by the couple themselves, but it should not be excessively delayed either. When a date comes after such a separation, you need to listen very carefully to yourself: do you want to hug the person, is there joy, is there a desire to never be separated again, or will the overwhelming feeling be indifference?
- It happens that even temporary separation is not able to clarify the situation. Then a serious conversation will help. It is likely that a man may be tormented by similar experiences, and together it will be easier for you to understand what you expect from each other.
- There are cases when a woman (consciously or not) becomes a “mother” for her beloved, who takes care of him in everything, cares for him, completely dissolving and losing herself. In this case, it is important to remember that such self-sacrifices are not valued by men and quickly become boring. Both partners must contribute to the relationship in equal amounts, otherwise nothing good will come of it.
How do you understand that you no longer love your husband?
It happens that people who have lived together for several years doubt their choice almost every day. Most often after another quarrel or simply because of a bad mood. And in the morning you say to yourself: “Yesterday I wanted to leave, but then I realized that I love you.” But there are also obvious signs of dislike for a man.
1. It’s more pleasant for you to be alone. Remember how you used to look forward to your husband returning from work? And now you catch yourself thinking that it would be better if he went on a business trip or came home when you were already asleep.
2. You want to receive, not give. How to understand this? A loving girl does everything with joy for her man: cooks, says compliments. And the one who has fallen out of love expects something in return, constantly “bargains”, tries to manipulate. Wake-up call.
3. You no longer want intimacy with him. You increasingly associate sex with labor rather than with pleasure. You don’t get goosebumps, you don’t get excited by your spouse’s touch. At the same time, you stare at other men.
4. You constantly criticize your husband. “You can’t make money!”, “Why are you so sloppy?” Have you noticed that you are making such claims more and more often? Moreover, you also get relief by pelting the man with reproaches. Your speech is harsh and without encouraging phrases. It's worth thinking about.
Choice between two men
A difficult choice faces those who find themselves between two men. It is often very difficult to understand feelings. Then you need to rely on your dreams. Who would you like to go to the registry office with? Who do you imagine holding your baby in your arms? Who would you like to have tea with in the kitchen when you are old? Let your fantasies guide you, and you will see how your imagination itself will draw the necessary pictures.
You can always understand yourself and sort out your feelings; it’s just important not to brush aside your feelings and learn to listen to yourself more often. Then there will be much more harmony and happiness in your life. Allow yourself to dream, love and open up - away with all suffering!
Not sure about my feelings for my husband
Hello.
I am 22 years old, my husband is 27 years old. There are no children and they didn’t want or plan to have children yet. We dated for 1 year, then got married, married for 1 year and 4 months at the moment. When we met, I did not want a relationship with him, I felt that we were not suitable for each other. But it so happened that we began to spend a lot of time together, unnoticed, he soon moved in with me, we began to live together, I got used to him, began to feel tender feelings, fell in love, and a year later we got married (I now know that we were in a hurry). He is a good, kind, calm person, he loves me, I thought, what else is needed for happiness and decided that he would endure it and fall in love... I thought that it was okay that I didn’t fall in love with him right away and that he didn’t evoke strong emotions in me. But he is a good person and I probably confused respect for him with love. Now, a year after the wedding (we have been living together for more than two years), I began to feel doubts. I'm not happy with him. You can live peacefully and seemingly well, but I can’t. I don't feel like he's the one. In addition, he is very down to earth, I am often bored with him, there is nothing to talk about, he is emotionally cold, in contrast to the emotionally alive me, I used to think that his calm temperament would be to my benefit, would balance mine, but now I understand, that this only makes me feel bored and bad. In my intimate life, I am also often dissatisfied, I can’t do anything from a man’s housework and don’t strive to learn how to do it, I’m not independent, I’m scared to entrust him with something, it’s better to do it myself. I don't feel like there is a man in the house. But if you close your eyes to this, he is a good person, he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t party, he loves me. I always took care of a clean house and delicious food, I was a housekeeper, until recently. Now I don’t want anything, I’m tired of everything. There is no mutual understanding. He is aware of everything I wrote, we have talked about this many times already, but have come to nothing. But even when we talk about it, he doesn’t really have anything to say. And he’s happy with everything about me. I don't know what to do now. I probably should have listened to my heart then, 2 years ago... Now I notice that I sometimes like other men. They are interesting to me, I think that if I weren’t married, I would want to get to know someone better, get to know them better... But it shouldn’t be like that. I’m ashamed of such thoughts, and I can’t help myself. I even know that I could fall in love with someone else. But that doesn’t happen when you love? Do I understand correctly that if I loved my husband, this could not have happened? I don’t know what to do, live with him further, because I don’t want to hurt him if we break up or even break up. You can live on, everything is fine, calm, but not in my soul. Then I will suffer myself. Thoughts come to me that maybe I shouldn’t be with anyone in my life. Since this is my second relationship and history repeats itself. Only in my first relationship did I first fall in love myself and we were not married. But that relationship was terrible, he harassed me, so we broke up. The simple similarity is that already in the second relationship I become the initiator of separation, because after cohabitation, I don’t feel that I love. What if this story repeats itself again and again, then maybe it’s better for me not to build a serious relationship with anyone at all. Sometimes I even think about my husband falling in love with someone and leaving me. It would be easier. I would have calmly let him go, I wouldn’t have caused a scandal. But all his behavior suggests that he is not that monogamous. I can continue to live with him, stepping over myself, but even if I don’t pay attention to my inner experiences, I don’t see him as a serious man to start a family. I didn’t see this before, but now I’ve matured and understood. Sometimes, I feel like a caring mother to him, and not a wife, but I want to be taken care of too, to be behind my husband like behind a stone wall, so that he can solve problems. I’m also lucky that I have my own apartment, but I don’t think we would have been able to earn enough for it in our entire lives. But I understand that most likely these problems would not be so significant for me if I loved very much, although I don’t know. I compare him with other more purposeful and mature men. The easiest thing would be for me to do nothing and leave everything as it is, but I don’t know how to live like that. And I don’t want to torment him. I don’t know why I can’t live in peace. I would like to live a normal life, but I can’t. This whole thing makes me feel like a terrible person. I apologize for such a long story. I hope for your help and wise advice. Thank you.
Not sure about my feelings for a person (1 answer)
Signs of hidden male love
Psychologists note that secrecy in matters of the heart takes possession of a man when he experiences a sincere interest in his partner. Casanova, on the contrary, is inclined to openly demonstrate his feelings. Unless he decided to intrigue you in order to arouse reciprocal interest. The following signs will help you understand whether a man’s mystery is hiding true love or sexual attraction.
Psychology of behavior
The actions of a man in love are often difficult to predict. Thoughtfulness and sadness are replaced by excited relaxedness. Suddenly he is overcome by lyrical impulses. A poetry lover will remember Yesenin, Tsvetaeva, or a poem he learned at school. An esthete will start a conversation about beauty: painting, opera, architecture. The smart guy will try to prove the theorem of the century or solve the problem of global warming. Be careful: eloquence has a bewitching effect on women and hides not only love, but also more mundane feelings.
If the lady of the heart is educated and well-read, the man will start Googling incomprehensible terms in order to maintain a meaningful conversation. If your beloved prefers sports, she will go on skates, rollerblades, and trade fishing for yoga classes, just to be together. He will look for various reasons to get the attention of his chosen one: he will offer to take her home, fix the iron, hang a picture, etc. Without meeting obvious reciprocity, a man may suddenly disappear, but only then to gather strength for new “feats” on the love front.
Trust in relationships
Despite individual differences, representatives of the stronger sex are united in one thing: they do not like to let strangers into their personal space. Girls in whom they are not interested also fall into this category. When a man begins to share his innermost experiences, he is truly in love.
Even ordinary things testify to trust. For example, permission to manage the “bachelor’s pad”, a request to choose a wardrobe, give life advice, and have a heart-to-heart talk. If you notice this behavior, it is important to distinguish between real trust and banal exploitation. If the latter is true, a man does not need a soul mate, but rather an au pair.
Willingness to compromise
There is still a stereotype in society that a man’s point of view is superior to a woman’s. But in a serious relationship, a man is ready to make concessions. To understand whether a man is hiding his real feelings, put him in front of a problem that requires making a decision. A loving guy will prefer to compromise rather than authoritatively insist on his own.
How to guess feelings from a glance?
All of the above signs of falling in love lie on the material plane. These are conclusions that follow from the specific words and actions of a man. But you can understand that a guy is hiding his feelings without resorting to complex psychological analysis. It is enough to watch how he looks at the girl he loves.
The look of a man in love without words reveals sincere sympathy. He is unable to control himself; the call of nature forces him to look at the object of his adoration with “crimson eyes.” In such a gaze one can easily read admiration and delight. He views a woman as a beautiful painting, admiring every movement and curve of her body. Sometimes he freezes spellbound for a moment, as if plunging into a trance.
Subjects with strong psychological training try to hide this expressive feature. Having realized that it is indecent to constantly look at a lady, they begin to “encrypt”: cast frequent glances on the sly. But cover tactics reveal themselves sooner or later.
Body and gestures
Involuntary movements give away the lover even with obvious attempts to disguise himself. Observe his hands: emotional excitement and excitement causes tremors, his palms become wet from excitement. Hiding his feelings, he often crosses his arms over his chest. This gesture indicates internal closeness.
His body may be enslaved or shackled. Suddenly the bodily tightness gives way to the opposite. The man suddenly straightens up, as if demonstrating his presence. At such moments, he usually holds his hands behind the waistband of his trousers. It is important for a guy (usually involuntarily) to show his strength, corpulence and manhood. Intuitively sensing the impulse, the surrounding women cast approving glances at him.
For a man in love, physical contact with the object of his adoration is important. Hiding his feelings, he often involuntarily touches the hand, shoulder or waist of the girl he loves, making it clear that he is not indifferent to her.
Appearance
Having fallen in love, a guy begins to experience increased interest in his appearance. Dudes go shopping, buying branded items generously. Particular attention is paid to indicators of male wealth: cool watches, brutal leather accessories, even massive gold jewelry is used. Men who are relaxed about fashion will definitely wash their jeans, update an old shirt or sweater, take a pair of new socks out of their wardrobe, and polish their shoes until they shine.
Obvious signs of a man's love are frequent examination of himself in the mirror, a stylish hairstyle, and perfect shavenness. Particularly noteworthy is the passion for perfume. A man indifferent to perfume suddenly begins to smell fragrant in your presence? There is no doubt that he is interested in you, no matter how skillfully he hides his feelings.
A macho man with a high level of adrenaline will definitely sign up for the gym. Elastic biceps for men are an indispensable attribute of attractiveness and sexuality.
Jealousy
Appearing aggression towards potential competitors is the most characteristic symptom of male love. Even a quiet guy is capable of a real fight for the lady of his heart. As soon as a possible opponent looms on the horizon, the fighting instinct is triggered. Often, such a jealous attitude reveals a man’s feelings to others better than any words.
Love or friendship - how to determine?
In fact, a strong and good friendship always develops between lovers.
There is no better friend than a loved one, with whom you can trust and confide, with whom you can do everything together, with whom it is easy, warm and comfortable. Friendship is a new level of love, when hormones calm down, and euphoria is replaced by mutual assistance, a conscious readiness to throw yourself into fire and water after your loved one, the desire to share everything between two.
Psychologists say that if lovers become faithful and reliable friends, then together they can move mountains, they can survive all the hardships, they can share happiness and misfortune in half.
But what if a guy and a girl are just friends? Is it possible to confuse friendship with love? Of course not. Yes, these people are very close mentally, but there is no physical attraction between them. And at the same time, each of them has some secrets that are difficult to entrust to a stranger.
Love or affection - how to tell the difference?
How do you understand whether you love a person or is it just affection?
Love at first sight is a feeling as rare as falling snow on a hot July day. At first sight, you can fall in love, feel physical attraction, a soul mate, but a mature and conscious feeling comes later.
How to understand your own emotions? How is affection different from love? Let's look for the difference.
When two people date for a long time, they certainly become attached to each other. You begin to miss your loved one when he is away. You miss his hugs, his smell, his jokes, his sweet habits. But how do you understand whether you love a person or is it a habit, dependence on another person?
Attachment is very easy to confuse with love. But there is still a significant difference between them. A dependent person acts forcedly, out of fear of losing his soul mate. He restrains his real emotions, tries to guess the desires of his chosen one.
Photo: https://pixabay.com/photos/love-valentine-heart-in-love-3061483/
Affection always goes hand in hand with:
- financial dependence;
- fear of loneliness;
- feelings of guilt or gratitude;
- responsibility for your chosen one.
But love is a selfless feeling, self-sufficient. They love not for something, but in spite of everything.
Sexual relationships will help you understand that this is a habit and not love. If you are with a person out of habit, then the passion will gradually subside, and you will get headaches more and more often. Whereas a real feeling gives pleasure from intimacy, the desire to dissolve in a loved one, to give him all of yourself.
What is love?
Is it possible to tell in words what “love” or “happiness” is? One will say that this is a chemical reaction of the body, another – a sublime feeling, the third will completely find it difficult to answer, they say, when you fall in love, you will understand!
But it's really difficult to understand. Today, at the sight of your loved one, everything in your soul blossoms, your heart is pounding with joy, and butterflies are fluttering in your stomach. And tomorrow you begin to wonder, is this the person I need? Will I be able to live with him all my life?
So it turns out that at first we are exclusively under the influence of feelings, and then, after a few weeks or months, the voice of reason turns on.
Love means something different for each person, because everyone loves in their own way, depending on their character and emotionality. Some are restrained in their feelings, while others are ready to shout about them to the whole world.
In any case, by love, every person understands something good, unusual, joyful. You meet a person with whom you feel warm and calm, someone you can trust, with whom you want to share your joys and sorrows.
This person in a short time becomes the closest, as if this is a part of you, your soulmate.
