From this article you will learn why men are afraid to get married and how to achieve the desired marriage proposal.
Today, the times when men “ran” after girls with marriage proposals are slowly becoming a thing of the past. Today, the institution of marriage is gradually becoming obsolete. But this is only the opinion of sociologists. As a rule, most often men do not want to start a family. More than 60% of bachelors over 30 years old believe that a stamp in a passport is not at all necessary and therefore there is no point in going to the registry office.
Why many men are afraid of marriage - fear of marriage in men: reasons
A man is afraid of marriage
Women often have to deal with the fact that their loved one is afraid to get married. Of course, the question arises - how to push a man to get married? However, before doing this, it is important to understand the reasons for this behavior.
The reasons why a man is afraid of marriage are as follows:
- Past Life Examples
If a man grew up in a family where love and harmony reigned, then he will not be afraid to get married. But when the situation was different - the parents were constantly arguing, hating each other, and so on, then marriage would be negative for him. Moreover, if his father constantly incited him so that his son would not marry. Even if a man understands that everything could be different, fear will still bother him.
- Fear of losing freedom
Many men believe that you can only be happy when you are free. And marriage is a big limitation for them. After all, family life imposes a certain responsibility, forces you to be attentive and caring. Not all men are ready to part with the advantages of a bachelor's life for the sake of illusory family happiness.
A man may also feel that he will become dependent on his wife and will no longer be able to do whatever he wants.
- Fear of making a mistake
Fear of mistakes
Men also dream of finding their soul mate. Perhaps your beloved man is not eager to propose because he is not sure that you are not “the one.” You may be surprised, but 80% of men are ready to marry only for great love. And they are ready to wait for their woman as long as they like.
- Fear of falling out of love
The past always determines our behavior in the present. If a man is sure that feelings fade over time, then he will not rush into marriage. A man may be afraid that some time after marriage he will stop loving his woman.
- Fear of responsibility
As you know, in our society a man is considered the head of the family. This means that he must take care of his family materially and morally. Often men feel that they will not be able to cope with their role and will disappoint the woman.
- Boredom and everyday difficulties
Some men think marriage is boring. They are simply depressed when they have to plan vacations and weekends. If the partner himself is not ready to part with his freedom, then marriage will be akin to a cage for him.
- Fear of becoming a father
It is logical that after marriage is registered, children are born. This is accepted in our society and many are even surprised when people get married and do not have children for a long time. If a man is afraid of becoming a dad, then marriage will be something scary for him.
- Unwillingness to be faithful
Fear of being faithful
A husband should always be faithful. This is the opinion that almost all women share. Accordingly, marriage deprives a man of relationships with any other women. Everyone knows that men are polygamous, and this is inherent in their instincts, but this does not mean that they cannot be faithful. In any case, if at the moment the number of partners is important to a man, then you should not try to drag him to the registry office - he is not ready for this yet.
- Fear of being deceived
Women often look for men with some kind of calculation. So there is an established opinion that women rush to the registry office simply to get a man’s soul, and most importantly, a wallet. There are also men who believe that women enter into marriage solely for convenience. So you shouldn’t be surprised that your man doesn’t go with you to the registry office.
- Material difficulties
Sometimes the reluctance to enter into official relationships is due to financial difficulties. If a man believes that he cannot provide for his family, then he will not agree to marriage. Although, it is possible that a man simply does not want to provide for anyone.
In any case, marriage is a responsible decision, and if a man is in no hurry to enter into it, then he should not be blamed. It's better to understand the reasons. Perhaps he is simply not ready for a family yet and is trying to protect you from mental trauma in this way.
Victim of stag parties
Your chosen one not only says that he loves you, but also proves it every day: he goes to your parents on weekends, does not forget about a single holiday, plans a joint vacation, and in general the idea of living together belonged to him. But despite all this, he does not mention the wedding. Perhaps the fact is that all his friends are still bachelors, and your betrothed is afraid that after the wedding he will look like a black sheep or that you, as a legal wife, will begin to forbid him to attend bachelor parties. The most unpleasant thing is that in competition with the male fraternity you will most likely lose. So you need to become a part of it! Let your loved one’s friends admire you and convince him that he cannot find a better wife!
Do not deny your beloved the opportunity to watch football with friends at your home. At the same time, prepare them something tasty to go with their beer. Ideally, you should find out in advance who is playing whom, search the Internet for information about the teams, their past matches, and impress everyone with your knowledge. Also, never interfere with the traditional trips of your loved one and his friends to the bathhouse or playing billiards. Let him know that you are not going to deprive him of the joys of a man and that you trust him. But what he and his friends will do there - let it remain on his conscience. In general, behave like an atypical wife in the mind of a bachelor - and you will receive recognition from your comrades and a marriage proposal.
However, you can just enjoy your life together with your sweetheart and wait: sooner or later his friends will start their own families. Then your betrothed will have no choice but to follow their example.
If you have been together for a long time, and your significant other, going bowling, explains to you that there will be a “purely male company” - do not waste time on him! Believe me: a person who is going to connect his life with yours will not behave like that. Also pay attention to how your spouse communicates with you in the presence of his friends. If he does not consider it necessary to introduce you as a permanent girlfriend or behaves distantly, it means that the bachelor brotherhood is more valuable to him and he is embarrassed by your relationship. And he doesn’t treat you like a future wife.
What should you do if a man jokingly talks about marriage?
A man jokes about marriage.
Many girls begin to worry about how to push a man to get married if he only talks about it as a joke.
In fact, there is usually no reason to worry. Basically, this behavior indicates that the man already has thoughts about marriage, but he is very afraid of rejection. He jokingly asked you to get married, you laughed and forgot. And if the girl agrees, then soon she may actually receive an offer.
Some people even jokingly call themselves husband and wife, but their marriage is not officially registered. None of you have anything to lose.
However, there is also the opposite situation, when a man, on the contrary, does not really want to go to the registry office and in this way checks whether you agree with him. In other words, if he gets an agreement, he may become afraid of it and even break up with you.
In any case, here you need to look at the behavior. If you see that no one is in a hurry to ask you to marry, then talk carefully with your man to understand the reasons.
A few "don'ts" to always remember
There are some nuances in the behavior of a woman in love that are guaranteed to worsen the relationship. To avoid this, it is useful to remember some basic truths.
- Never impose. This is a failed course of action.
- Don’t be boring and don’t ask about where you’ve been, who you’ve talked to, what you’re thinking about now, and so on.
- Don't criticize. A man, his relatives, friends, hobbies, work, clothes and so on. If all this really irritates you so much, wouldn't it be better to break up?
- Do not try to tie a man to yourself using a child or pregnancy. You cannot organize a “wolf hunt”; it is humiliating for a man to feel like prey. The result is predictable.
These are simple but effective rules.
They are based on the need of any person for respect. That is, a man should not be “pressured” until he decides to go to the registry office, but should be unobtrusively instilled in him with the idea that the situation is normal when the marriage is officially registered. But, naturally, each person requires a special approach. Finding him is a feasible task for a loving woman. Posted in Love and relationships
How to push a man to get married: psychology
How to force a man to marry?
If you are thinking about how to push a man to get married, then several tricks from psychologists will come to the rescue:
- You yourself must want to get married . Think about why you want to “ring” your man so much. If your goal is simply to tie him to you, to leave your parents, or simply to gain new emotions, then it is better not to even propose marriage to a man. You should want to just be there, and not look for reasons for this.
- Don't talk about marriage out loud . This is a stereotype, but it is one of the true ones. Let the man propose himself. If you start hinting about the wedding, you will scare her off. Even if you do everything because of high feelings, you should not put pressure on him.
- Give him the brightest emotions . This applies not only to intimate life, but also to everyday life. If a man has always been a favorite of women, then find a way to reduce attention to his person. You must have a reason to see each other less often. The ideal option is to hide behind work. If he is too jealous, then do not provoke him, but rather give him what he wants. Be original - it's not difficult.
Prove your loyalty to him
- Prove your loyalty . Be careful in your pursuit. You cannot first praise another man and then talk about loving your own. This is clearly not proof of fidelity. You obviously cannot achieve any love with this behavior. Your task is to gain trust from him. An excellent option, by the way, is to give a man access to your social networks. Such an act will say a lot.
- Indifference to the wedding . If you accidentally start talking about a wedding, then briefly say your opinion. Ideally, it is better to say that the stamp in your passport is not very important to you. This will only help you benefit from the situation, because many men have the same opinion. In other words, you must show that you are thinking with your head.
- Put his fear to sleep . Try to plan the future together more often. Become one. Try to be together more, but don't impose. Always express your opinion calmly. This will all increase the chances of marriage. He is very afraid that you have no future. You must prove him wrong.
- Make his mother fall in love with you . This is the best advice you can give. The mother is always a potential rival. Her opinion is law for many. So you must do everything to please your mother-in-law. If she praises you in front of a man, then he will definitely not refuse marriage.
If you sit and think that your relationship is developing and it’s time to move to the next level, then throw these thoughts away. Just enjoy the person. You shouldn’t show off your girlfriends in order to stand out. You must always prove your love to a man, and not to others.
From sex to the registry office: how to let a man down the aisle?
And this difference is constantly increasing! While waiting for the Prince on a white horse, you can remain an old maid, so sex before marriage is practically the norm today. A reasonable question is how to bring this “norm” to the registry office?
Romance novels do not tolerate sex without love, sex on the first date and sex for health. But we endure, because living according to medieval customs, when a man conquers a woman, and at the same time she generously accepts courtship, while simultaneously breaking down, is already old-fashioned today. It's old-fashioned for men, which is a pity.
By agreeing to sex before marriage, we understand perfectly well that this same marriage with an intimate partner may not take place. We understand, but we don’t accept, because we so want big and bright love, and is the difference really that significant, what comes first - the bed or the crown? It’s just that if the bed is primary, it makes sense to move from it to the secondary. We will tell you how to do this later.
What kind of sex will bring you down the aisle?
Seasoned. Wine becomes tastier over the years, and the forbidden fruit sweeter. Realizing this, many women do not engage in intimacy on the first date. And this is correct: the too rapid development of events will appeal only to the man who is not burdened with the search for a life partner. If you are counting on sex, which will culminate in the exchange of rings, you should be a little more restrained. In addition, 5-7 dates without love will in themselves create a relationship, and this is already a good sign. Because sex without love is possible, but marriage without a relationship is unlikely.
Scientifically based. Girls who satisfy their partners orally are more willing to marry, American scientists say. They made their conclusion based on a survey of married couples with experience from one to three years. Happy newlyweds admitted that in 75% of cases their relationships began with oral sex, which then turned into full-fledged sexual intercourse. For many of them, this was their first sexual experience. Men noticed that oral sex facilitates mutual understanding and smoothes out conflicts well. Is this what they meant?
What should you not do after sex?
About the anecdotal remark of a girl who had just had sex, but did not wait for the continuation of the “banquet” - “What about talking?” We won't today. We will talk about more serious things. Psychologists note that many representatives of the fair sex, after sex, begin to behave with men in a way that they would never have allowed themselves to before they entered into a relationship with them. This can be expressed in strict control, ignoring personal boundaries, forcibly imposing self-care, or cultivating in the partner a sense of responsibility for what happened. Often a woman does not even notice changes in her behavior, but maybe check herself just in case?
How to proceed?
Keep your distance! Be a mirror image of your partner in matters that concern his behavior. If he pulls away from you, do the same. Provide your man with space without commenting on his behavior or pushing him to make any decisions. Give him the opportunity to get bored! Just accept it as a fact that it is beyond your power to force your partner to be closer to you than he wants. So is it worth escalating the situation with conversations and coercion? By acting according to the wrong scenario, you risk alienating the man from you even more.
Think positively! Try not to show concern about the existing relationship - the time will come, and you will definitely dot the i's, for now just enjoy life. The first sex, like any subsequent sex, should bring pleasure and joy. Only in this case can it grow into something more. A person always wants to return to the place where he felt good.
What to do between intimate meetings?
Flirt. A man is a hunter by nature and, most often, polygamous. Therefore, after a call that came a month and a half after intimacy, you should not throw yourself on his neck in anticipation of “eternal love.” On the contrary, pretend that there was no intimate connection, flirt, let him conquer you again!
Increase your self-esteem. It is precisely because many women have big problems with her that they cannot let a man down the aisle. Moreover, smart, beautiful, educated women often choose the wrong men. In order not to be tormented by doubts, which are well reflected in the hit song of the “Factory” group – “Did I give it to that one...”, be confident in yourself and, as a result, picky in relationships. According to the conclusions of sexologists, based on their experience working with male patients, a woman who is confident in her irresistibility is much more attractive and sexier than a quiet, shy woman suffering from complexes. Therefore, work on yourself! You can start with a positive af - repeat it a hundred, two hundred times a day until you believe it yourself.
Be optimistic. A woman with a sad look will scare anyone away. If you seriously believe that there is absolutely nothing to be happy about in life, you are devoid of any attractiveness, sexologists say. Whether it’s a woman glowing from within with a smile on her lips, she acts on men like a magnet, forcing them to follow her with their gaze. The opposite sex is drawn to her as a source of joy and positivity. Become one of them, look into the future with optimism.
Improve your image. Luxurious outfits, a good hairstyle and first-class makeup lift a woman’s mood and make her attractive. Men love with their eyes, so being irresistible is always the primary task of the future bride. If you think that external beauty is not the main thing, you need to be attractive on the inside, you lose at the start. After all, to find out your personal qualities, you first need to get to know you. And men strive to meet only those representatives of the fair sex who evoke pleasant emotions in them, a thrill of “butterflies in the stomach.”
You have found yourself in a network...
What to do if you agreed to meet for sex, and then wanted more? Try to talk frankly with a man. Your monologue might sound something like this:
"I like you. Probably stronger than just as a man for sex. I would like more than meeting from time to time to “get better.” I'm not sure we should continue like this. At least until the moment when you feel the same.”
You shouldn’t hope that a man will immediately offer you a serious relationship. This monologue is more of a way to see a clear picture of your connection with your partner. If he suggests breaking up, there is no need to be upset. Because you will become free for new relationships that will certainly lead you down the aisle. But why make a guess? Maybe this Prince will also be worthy...
Happy marriage to you!
Prayer for a man to get married and start a family: read
Prayer for a man's marriage
There is a special prayer for men that allows you to bring marriage into life. Please note, if you are thinking about how to push a man to get married, then this prayer is definitely not for you. He must read it himself:
Prayer to a man for marriage
Prompt a man to get married?
At the end of the material for you is the opinion of family psychology expert Anastasia Makarenko: “Very often men are not able to see the very line when it is already possible to propose. They may also believe that you will not get away from him and therefore there is no need to get married. Male psychology is designed in such a way that not everyone is able to understand your hint, so it is better to talk to him face to face on the topic of marriage and starting a family. Sometimes it will be useful to arouse a feeling of jealousy in your partner, but this must be done extremely carefully, because it is very easy to overdo it in this matter. You need to make a man understand about marriage and create an idyll in your couple. Try not to throw hysterics or shed tears in vain, as this scares men away. Be calm and reasonable, and he will definitely marry you.”
Golden material - where to find a man after 30
For many, a wedding and a stamp in the passport are a must. How do you feel about the topic of marriage? Is the stamp and marriage certificate important to you or are your feelings above all else?
make a man fall in love with a friend for a man, tips for women, happiness in marriage
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Systemic family psychotherapist, Author of personal development programs and publications
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Type No. 3. Narcissus
This is the exact opposite of Insecure. The narcissist loves only himself and his comfort. To want to get married, such a man must understand exactly how the legal status of a husband will be beneficial to him.
To encourage Narcissist to get married, end any conversation about marriage with the words “It will be better for you” and immediately explain in detail why exactly it is beneficial. The narcissist must understand that he will receive regular sex, constant self-admiration, freshly ironed shirts every morning and a nutritious diet only in exchange for your cherished status as a wife. Marrying him is not as difficult as it seems. It is much more difficult to live in this marriage...
Type No. 2. Uncertain
Depositphotos
Such men rarely have their own personal opinions. More often, men who are unsure of everything evaluate themselves and the world through the eyes of people who are reference (authoritative) for him: friends, parents, boss, psychologist...
Convince or...? It is useful for such a young man to provide statistics on how well married life reflects on health, as well as evidence that every great man had a caring wife behind him. Refer to his mother (“I think she would like you to start a family”), to the boss who does not take unmarried employees seriously and does not promote them. These arguments should work!
