Divorce - it’s not a pleasant thing. Nerves, tears, grievances, and scandals often poison the last month of married life, even if the spouses have separated.
It is not easy to endure all this, but sometimes it is absolutely necessary. As a rule, women suffer more. According to statistics, they most often become the initiators of separation.
There can be any number of reasons for divorce Drunkenness and drug addiction, assault and cruelty, humiliation and constant reproaches are the extreme, most difficult options. Living in such conditions, especially if there are children in the family, is not just impossible. This should under no circumstances be done.
There are other, less radical reasons to officially end the marriage relationship:
• he fell in love with another;
• she met another person;
• husband is indifferent to his wife;
• she has stopped having feelings for him and is tired of living together.
Any of these reasons may be grounds for divorce. But what to do if the husband does not want to get a divorce?
The situation on the eve of divorce, if the husband does not want to get a divorce
The situations preceding divorce are very different. Some people easily come to an agreement with their spouse about raising children together and dividing property, and even maintain the appearance of friendly relations. But this is rather an exception to the rule.
Most often, the husband refuses his wife’s proposal for a divorce, and does not mince words. The worst thing is that, according to statistics, this situation often occurs in young families with very young children. A young woman, who at this moment is most vulnerable and needs support more than ever, finds herself in a terrible situation. The man she married disappears, and his place is taken by a boor, an alcoholic, a rude man. And this one
“I’ll go to my mother” is not an option. You don’t just need to leave your tyrant spouse, reveler spouse, and “indifferent neighbor.” You should officially break off relations with him. Such a life partner will poison the life of not only the woman: he will also cripple the psyche of the children. The most paradoxical thing is that the husband almost always does not want to get a divorce. Why?
The most common reasons for men refusing to give a divorce are as follows:
• fear of condemnation from relatives. Yes, yes, in public he can be white and fluffy, showing care. This is just a way to establish yourself in the eyes of significant relatives. Neither of them knows what goes on behind closed doors, and the husband hopes that he never finds out;
• financial dependence on the spouse;
• reluctance to divide joint property.
In the latter case, a man, even if he has a mistress or a second family (often with children), is unlikely to agree to divorce. My husband doesn’t want to get a divorce because he doesn’t like sharing apartments, cars, dachas, yachts! But it will have to. Because there is a court, and it is always on the side of the woman as the initiator of the divorce.
We follow the advice of a psychologist
You can try to get your husband's consent in different ways. A woman must be wise. If the spouse is friendly, has a positive attitude towards his wife and children, and understands the situation, then you can start a sincere conversation. Discuss the problem together, present compelling arguments, and convince your husband. Say that you have fallen out of love with your spouse. You should inform about your plans for your future life. Try to discuss together who will live and where after the divorce. Who is registered in the apartment, how it will be divided. You may have general loans or borrowings. How to be in this case?
The husband, despite all the arguments, does not want to leave the family. He is happy with this life. He does not want to listen to any of his wife’s beliefs. You should consider what to do in this case, according to psychologists.
Some experts recommend that a woman show her bad side. Not fulfilling your duties around the house, returning home late, ignoring your husband in every possible way, etc.
The spouse is unlikely to tolerate such behavior; he will be forced to give his consent to the divorce.
Couldn't you reach an agreement peacefully? No problem. Here's what to do
My husband doesn’t want to get a divorce: where should he take his sadness?
If the husband categorically does not want to divorce, the woman can write a statement on her own and take it to court. If the decision to divorce had been made amicably, the spouses could have easily and quickly divorced through the registry office. True, only if they do not have common minor children.
So the only option is court. You won’t be able to get a divorce quickly, but you don’t need to get your spouse’s consent to divorce. The main thing is to correctly draw up a statement of claim and collect the necessary package of papers.
Step one is to collect the papers:
• write a statement of claim. It is problematic to do this without a lawyer, so it is better to pay an experienced specialist who will take into account all the nuances. It is recommended to act through a lawyer if there is something to divide and small children are growing up;
• pay the tax and attach the payment receipt to the application. The tax today is 650 rubles;
• marriage certificate;
• birth certificate of children, if any;
• certificate from the place of registration or an extract from the house register.
Step two is to take the application and register it with the clerk of the district court. There is also a subtlety here: the wife must submit the application at the place of registration of her husband, who does not want to get a divorce and in legal language is called the defendant. Therefore, the name of the court in the “header” of the statement of claim must be filled out correctly. An exception is made if, for objective reasons, the man is unable to appear in court. Then the entire package must be submitted to the judicial authorities at the place of registration of the woman (plaintiff).
The claim must be drawn up according to the approved template (the court secretary has it). In the case of property claims, they must be correctly formulated and included in the text of the application (on the issue of legal support).
If the wife claims half of the joint property and child support, the list of papers expands. You will need a certificate of valuation of the property to be divided, as well as a certificate from the spouse’s place of work about his earnings. Of course, if the children stay with their mother.
What to do to get a divorce
Before you take action and file for divorce, you should think and evaluate the situation. Ask yourself if you really want to do this. Sometimes a husband does not give his wife a divorce in the hope of reconciliation. Sometimes a woman’s desire to divorce becomes the result of a short-lived resentment, so you need to think carefully before making a final decision.
If one of the spouses still decides, the marriage can be dissolved by mutual consent of the parties. You should try to approach the issue more competently and correctly. When the husband does not consent to divorce,
A few tips will help you achieve the desired result:
- You need to try not to put pressure on your spouse and not threaten him with restrictions on communication with children and other unpleasant consequences. The best solution is a calm dialogue. Screaming, reproaching and swearing will not help you convince your husband. If the arguments are conveyed in a peaceful manner, the spouse may agree to divorce.
- When a husband does not give a divorce, quarrels and threatens, you should help him understand that further living together will not bring anything positive. You can give your spouse a chance and set a deadline for reconciliation, but if feelings have faded, it is better to explain and convey to him that the only way out is to separate.
- Sometimes dialogues in a peaceful and calm manner do not work. In this case, you can try to force your spouse to divorce. Psychologists advise in such situations to ignore your spouse and refuse to perform household duties. The optimal solution would be to separate in order to end cohabitation before the official divorce.
My husband doesn’t want to get a divorce: how long will I have to wait?
It often happens that a man intimidates a woman who dares to ask for a divorce. Threats of physical harm should be a signal to immediately leave. Especially if the husband has raised his hand against the woman or children before. Upon learning that his wife has filed a statement (and the summons will arrive in ten days), an angry man may behave inappropriately.
It’s good if you have somewhere to go, especially with children. It's good to have someone to protect. Parents, friends - you need to use any option to get rid of the presence of your former life partner. Sometimes it is enough to give a verbal or physical rebuff to a scoundrel so that he stops behaving too aggressively.
Sometimes a man who does not want a divorce takes advantage of a young woman’s legal ignorance and threatens to take her children away. This is complete nonsense! Even if a woman is on maternity leave and does not work, the court will leave the children with her, and will exact alimony from the husband for the maintenance of not only the minors, but also their mother.
The presence of small children is not an obstacle to divorce if it is initiated by a woman. Article 17 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation imposes a ban on divorce if there is a child under one year old, or if it is established that the wife is pregnant at the time of registration of documents, only if the man wants a divorce. A woman who has a baby under one year old or is pregnant can get a divorce - she has every right to do so.
Remember: all rights are on the woman’s side. You just need to gain strength, courage, patience and just get through this difficult time. And you won't have to wait too long. The divorce procedure is regulated by Articles 25 and 28 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. The court will make a decision on divorce no later than two months from the date of registration of the application. This is guaranteed by Article 154 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. All women who are afraid of threats and cannot decide to divorce would do well to familiarize themselves with these laws. Very inspiring and helps you feel more confident.
A frightened woman may not tell her husband that she has filed an application and may hide the summons. This is not entirely legal, but the situation can be critical.
Threats from a spouse
A man who does not want to get a divorce will want to force the woman to refuse to divorce by any means.
He can make different promises, exert all kinds of pressure, and intimidate. Every mother is afraid of losing her child. An intractable spouse will take advantage of this. He threatens to take away the child in the divorce.
What to do in such a situation? Of course, parents have equal rights to their child. But in most cases, children stay with their mother. The woman must provide evidence that the child will be better off with her than with the father. This argument should be reflected in detail in the application.
So, the following documents are required:
- statement of family composition;
- a conclusion from the guardianship authorities that your place of residence is suitable for the child;
- certificates of income of each spouse;
- positive characteristics from the place of work.
Mom should think about the question of who the child will be with when she is at work. It is necessary to indicate whether he attends kindergarten, school and how long he is there.
Divorce procedure if the husband does not want a divorce
After the plaintiff's statement is registered, a summons will be sent to the defendant. This can be an unpleasant surprise for a man. A negative reaction can manifest itself in ignoring a summons to court: men simply will not come to the meeting.
This means nothing. They will divorce without him. The following rule comes into effect: if the plaintiff in a divorce case does not appear at the court hearing three times, then the decision on divorce is made without the man. The court will take into account the fact that reconciliation of the spouses is impossible, as well as further life together.
The first meeting is held in a month. The plaintiff will definitely be asked why there was discord in the family and whether there is an option for reconciliation. If you don’t want to put your stamp on it or there is no particular reason for divorce (sometimes it is impossible to stay with your husband longer without any logical reason), then there is no need to explain anything. The law does not punish for this, but the woman’s wishes are taken into account.
The court will have questions about alimony and property. You must describe your decision in a statement, and if they do not prejudice the decision of either party, the court will satisfy them. In some cases, the judge makes amendments, which will be announced at the hearing.
If the spouse fails to appear, the hearing of the case will be postponed. If the husband does not want to get a divorce, but came to the hearing, his arguments will be taken into account, and the court will give a month for reflection and possible reconciliation.
If for some reason a woman changes her mind and files a petition for reconciliation, the court may decide to extend the consideration of the issue for one month. If the spouses are reconciled, the case is closed. If the conflict continues and divorce is still an issue, the marriage is dissolved.
What's next? After three days, the court is obliged to send it to the registry office at the place where the marriage was registered. The divorce decree is issued to the plaintiff and the defendant. With this document and passport, you need to come to the registry office at the place of residence or marriage registration, pick up a certificate of divorce and put a corresponding stamp in your passport - a symbol of a new life.
Drawing up a statement of claim
In order for a divorce application to be considered in court, it is necessary to draw up the document correctly without any errors.
The case is considered within 2 months from the date of filing the claim. The document preparation consists of two parts. In its formal form, the application must contain the following details:
- name and address details of the magistrate's court;
- personal data of the plaintiff and defendant (last name, first name, patronymic, place of residence);
- complete information about the trustee (address and personal data);
- description of the situation;
- handwritten signature and date of completion of the document;
- list of attached documents.
The descriptive part must indicate the reasons for the divorce:
- time and place of marriage;
- marriage certificate number;
- the exact date of end of cohabitation;
- a detailed description of the number of joint children under the age of 18;
- actual place of registration of children and their further residence with one of the parents;
- description of the reasons for the divorce;
- indicating the desired surname after obtaining a divorce;
- information on the collection of alimony and the division of common property.
Important! The document should not contain unnecessary information and it should indicate information about the disagreement of one of the parties to divorce!
When drawing up a document, it is necessary to indicate the legal norms of legislation on the basis of which the procedure can be carried out:
- divorce without the consent of one party in accordance with Article 22 of the ICRF;
- collection of alimony obligations in Articles 80, 81, 83;
- Articles 34, 38, 39 on the division of jointly acquired property.
When describing the requirements section, you must provide the following information:
- obtaining a divorce between spouses and excluding the possibility of cohabitation;
- receiving alimony in a certain amount or as a percentage of the defendant’s salary;
- description of proposals for the division of common property.
A list of documents must be attached to the completed application:
- a copy of the filed claim;
- original and copy of the marriage document;
- the applicant's identity card (copy of passport);
- copies of passports and birth documents of common children;
- availability of a receipt for payment of the duty assigned by the state;
- document on the spouse’s income to confirm the collection of alimony;
- a complete inventory of common property;
- a number of other documents (certificates of health or incapacity of the spouse).
When is divorce possible through the registry office?
A simplified divorce procedure through the registry office is possible if the husband is found guilty of committing a criminal offense and is serving a sentence of three or more years. Even if the husband does not want to divorce, the woman in this case has the right to gain freedom without trial.
To do this, she needs to pay a state fee of 350 rubles, write a statement to the registry office and attach a copy of the verdict to it. The marriage will be annulled without the consent of the spouse serving the sentence.
Other grounds for obtaining a unilateral divorce through the registry office using a simplified procedure are:
• recognition of the husband as missing;
• recognition of the husband as incompetent.
In this case, there will be no problems with a unilateral divorce.
What to do when your ex-spouse is stalking you
Not everything always ends well. Even after receiving a divorce certificate, some continue to behave inappropriately with their ex-wife. When your husband threatens and doesn’t give you peace even after a divorce, you need to figure out why this is happening. If the problem cannot be resolved peacefully, the only way out is to contact the police. But there is a possibility that law enforcement agencies will refuse to help if, as they believe, the woman’s life is not in danger.
When the police refuse to accept a statement, arguing that the decision lacks evidence of a crime, you can inform your intention to contact the prosecutor's office. Most often, the reason for refusal is reluctance to open a new business.
If the police still refuse, you need to write a statement to the prosecutor's office. The issue should not be resolved through violence. Some turn to dubious acquaintances in order to discourage their ex-spouse from pursuing them. However, in this case, there is a possibility that in the future your husband will file a police report against you. Therefore, a peaceful path within the framework of the Criminal Code is the best option.
Divorce according to Islam
If your husband professes the Islamic religion and you live in an Islamic state, then the divorce situation is somewhat different. Here the right to divorce belongs only to the man. But the woman firmly decided to get a divorce. She will have to try to persuade her husband or give him a dowry. So she can get a divorce in return.
The spouse can express his disagreement. According to Islam, you can go to a Sharia court. They will consider your complaint and try to come to an agreement with the man. If he again does not consent, the Sharia court gives the woman a divorce.
After a certain period of time, you can remarry.
