In what situations might men not want to kiss a woman?
Lip contact is such a familiar action in our culture that we, in general, do not think that this is a ritual developed with the development of human civilization, and not a biologically programmed behavior necessary for reproduction. That is, this fact is not at all a reason to declare kissing something terrible, unnatural and unnecessary - kissing is very necessary and useful (just like hugging, touching each other in every way, etc.). These pleasant actions stimulate the production of several “pleasure hormones” – which is why they are good.
But it happens that certain specific life experiences, complexes and prejudices motivate a man to abandon this ritual - not through “this is how it should be”, but because they really don’t want kisses with lips and tongue! Why doesn't a man like to kiss on the lips?
- If a particular woman seems “dirty”, “unworthy”, etc. to a man. Which, however, does not stop him from wanting to have sex with her and touch her. This attitude happens to prostitutes and “friends for the night” - that is, to those ladies whom a man views purely as a tool to satisfy his needs, and nothing more. This behavioral pattern probably comes from a prison, criminal culture. And if you meet such a character, it’s not you who are “not pure enough” for him: you have the right to one-time sex just like he does. This guy has a “problem” in his head, which is extremely difficult to treat, and it’s not you who should be doing this!
- If your partner has problems with oral hygiene.
- If the guy has some personal psychological difficulties - for example, kissing is associated with a painful past love story or something else from personal negative experience. Psychology claims that antipathy to kisses that involve the tongue often comes from childhood - for example, if a boy was taught that it was bad and shameful, if his parents never hugged or kissed in front of him, and any physical contact was interpreted as something completely obscene.
And in the worst cases, the guy not only does not kiss the girl himself, but also pulls away during her attempts to kiss him...
I don't like kissing
This is what lovers are waiting for. The first step towards cherished intimacy, the first touch on the lips of a loved one and the opportunity to “taste” it. But it turns out that there are people who never kiss because it is... unpleasant for them.“The thing is,” explains sex therapist Alexander Korotkoy. — That there are people who, for certain reasons, find physical intimacy unpleasant. As a rule, we are talking not only about the contact of lips, but in general about the touch of another person. And the reason for this is problems in the emotional sphere, which mainly begin in early childhood.
This can be physical violence or mental trauma (often forgotten, repressed into the subconscious, a lack of parental tenderness. A person who was underdeveloped in childhood very often lacks emotions in adulthood. And this also happens to people who are accustomed to always hiding their emotions and consider this to be the norm. This may also indicate a certain superiority or excessive disgust of a person (reluctance to touch someone else’s mouth, tongue, saliva.
— Do such people lose a lot? Is it worth overcoming yourself, overcoming your disgust?
- Of course, this is a loss. Nobody invented kissing, it’s an instinct given by nature. It has been studied that it is during a kiss that the areas of the brain responsible for emotions are activated. Our in-fashion scanner seems to be checking another person. And most importantly, it determines whether it suits us genetically.
A kiss is also a kind of test for sexual health. After all, when kissing, a person picks up the partner’s pheromones - these are very intimate, individual aromas for each person that kindle sexual desire and signal about it. A kiss is a kind of express analysis of genetic compatibility - while we gently hug, our brain quickly studies the hormonal system of our partners.
But you shouldn’t “break” yourself. First of all, you need to find out why it is unpleasant for you. Have you felt this way before, when you were hugged and kissed by family and friends?
If this is not the case, then there is no need to “diagnose” yourself if you feel disgusted by the first kiss. Perhaps you were simply kissed by the wrong person. Who is physically unpleasant to you (a person who is unkempt, has bad breath, or is simply rude). Or perhaps you kissed only out of curiosity, and not because you felt a true desire to kiss. And this is a good lesson. There is no need to approach intimacy with an insecure face.
Finally, it is possible that upon contact of lips, your body “scanned” a potential partner and gave you the answer: genetic incompatibility. And this only means that meeting the one you really want is ahead.
— Is the ability to kiss always a sign of sexuality?
— Sometimes it only means a certain intimate experience, technicality. Real sexuality is not passion, the ability to “ignite” from one touch, which indicates an increased level of estrogen in a woman or testosterone in a man. Such people do not need lessons - the ability to kiss is inherent in them by nature. Want to know more about the person you like? Kiss her. No wonder they say: lips don’t lie.
What to do with a man who doesn't kiss?
“Beautiful and Successful”, in fact, does not call for considering all the complexes and shortcomings of raising a man as your personal problems, which you must solve. Psychologists (including family psychologists) exist to combat internal complexes, and if we are talking about complexes that interfere with intimate life, then sexologists do this, since this is the psychology of sexuality. It is quite appropriate to go to a psychologist (as a couple or the guy himself) to find out why a man does not like to kiss and what tangle of psychological problems is hidden behind this.
What to do if a girl doesn't want to kiss
The long-awaited meeting with the chosen one has arrived, everything is going well, but the girl does not want to kiss. What to do if a girl doesn't want to kiss? What needs to be done in such situations and what to do next so that she still wants to kiss? Maybe something needs to be fixed and how exactly to do it? This is a question many guys ask. There are different reasons why she doesn’t want to do this, and it is very important to understand the original reasons that influenced her decision.
This article will discuss the main reasons why girls do not want to kiss, as well as some recommendations on how to correct this situation. All girls are quite unique, and they need a certain approach, because only guys can create a favorable environment in order to get consent for mutual kisses from a girl.
Not sure if she likes you
One of the likely reasons why a woman does not want to kiss on the lips is the lack of feelings for this man. His actions just turn her off. There is also a possibility that the girl does not consider the guy as a sexual object; their relationship is friendly. There is a chance that the girl will still agree to spend the couple together in the evening to make sure that he really suits her. In this case, there is little chance that she will like him.
A guy's lack of hygiene, bad breath, and dental problems that cannot be mentioned on the first date make him reluctant to kiss. To prevent such an oversight from happening, it is advisable to prepare for the meeting and take care of fresh breath.
Wants to wait
There is a moment when a girl is alarmed by a guy’s haste; his persistent attempts to quickly get close to a girl can scare her away. The persistence and haste of guys can give the exact opposite of the expected effect; a girl will refuse to kiss herself on the lips.
There is no need to rush when it comes to winning someone over; it’s better for a guy to take care of creating an atmosphere conducive to gentle kisses so that she can relax. This is especially important if you have just started dating. The duration of the relationship also plays a role in this; some time must pass for the lady to get used to the guy.
Negative experience
The presence of negative experiences in a person's past can also affect the desire to kiss. Childhood trauma or sexual abuse can discourage a girl from truly wanting to kiss. To find out the reason behind the reluctance to kiss, the guy asks interesting questions. Throughout the conversation, the girl can share what is preventing her true desire. The degree of trust in a guy depends on the level of her relationship with the girl.
In addition to the negative experiences experienced in the past, complex and awareness of her own insecurities discourage the desire to kiss. The guy will gently and tactfully win over the girl, noticing her advantages, and will subsequently reveal a true pearl in her that she didn’t even know about.
Wants to “tie you to yourself” (cause even greater desire)
The girl believes that by refusing the guy a kiss, she inflames his desire even more. In this situation, we can say that he met a true flirt, playing with his feelings. She likes it when she is conquered, her heart is conquered. Then the guy is patient, and the long-awaited kiss promises to be passionate. Usually such girls love it when they play by their rules, achieving them, it’s just difficult for them to admit it.
Doesn't want to seem approachable
Also, a woman does not want to kiss because of her peculiarities in upbringing; she does not want to seem easily accessible in the eyes of a guy. From childhood, her parents instilled in her refined manners and correct behavior. Such wayward ladies will not succumb to persuasion from guys; their behavior will be unyielding.
In this case, the young man needs to decide whether he really likes the girl, whether he is ready to wait a while until she herself is ready to kiss him. Such girls need a much longer time to develop relationships, it is advisable for a guy to be tactful towards his chosen one, it is better not to raise this issue directly right away, carelessness will push away your chosen one.
What could be the reasons for a girl not wanting to kiss?
1. The girl doesn’t like the guy at all
One of the main and widespread reasons why a girl doesn’t want to kiss. There is nothing surprising here if a guy does not match his external appearance, or his words, behavior and actions simply push the girl away from him. In such cases, perhaps she goes on a date with the guy a couple more times to finally make sure that he is not suitable for her at all. Then the guys shouldn't even hope for any kind of kiss. The girl does not want to kiss him on the lips, does not perceive the guy as a sexual object, perhaps she is friendly and nothing more.
In this case, it is better to find yourself another girl, for whom you will definitely be an attractive young man.
2. A girl’s inability to kiss
This is also one of the important reasons. The girl is not yet experienced and does not know how to kiss at all, or she is bad at it, she is afraid that the guy will find out about it. She has had very little practice and doesn't want to feel awkward in such a situation.
3. Upbringing doesn’t allow it.
The girl does not want to kiss because her upbringing does not allow her. Her parents taught her proper manners and appropriate, dignified behavior from an early age. This is one of the reasons why a girl doesn’t want to kiss. No matter what the guys do, such girls will not fundamentally kiss a guy on the lips on the first 5-10 dates, they will not follow the young men’s lead. The time will come and the guys will understand everything.
What other reasons are there for a girl to not want to kiss?
The listed reasons why a girl doesn’t like to kiss do not apply to your case? Then maybe the reason for this is the following?
- There is no trust. If the first kiss took place, but subsequently the girl refuses to kiss, then it is likely that she does not yet have the level of trust to constantly be in hugs. Maybe she’s just afraid of getting close to you, because she simply doesn’t understand what kind of person you are and how adequate you are. In order to gain this very trust, during the meeting it is necessary to change the atmosphere and format of the date several times. This will create the effect of several meetings, and the girl will simply think that she has known you much longer than she actually does;
- You clearly demonstrate the importance of your goal. This can really turn a girl off. Being pestering and annoying are not the best traits of a man. From the outside it may seem that you are some kind of maniac who has only one goal in life. To get the desired bonus from a meeting, you need to create a suitable atmosphere of sexual tension, and you will need to act smoothly and slowly. You shouldn’t rush at a girl like a hungry animal;
- You're a bad kisser. If you have kissed before, but after that the girl increasingly tries to avoid such a process, then this may indicate that you are far from a professional in this matter.
Try to find the right approach to the girl and correct the situation. Maybe before you were uptight and not sincere, so the kiss was appropriate; - Your breath doesn't smell very good. Here you can do without any comments at all. Maintain proper oral hygiene. If everything is still bad, then visit a dentist or other specialist;
- The girl can't kiss. If she doesn't have the wealth of experience in kissing, then she may simply be shy about kissing. This is both good and bad. Firstly, you will have to go without kisses for a long time. Secondly, she really likes you, because she doesn’t want to lose you due to her inability to kiss;
- She has health problems. Herpes is not the most pleasant sore. The girl may simply be afraid of the consequences. Imagine, after kissing her, pimples will pop out on your lips. Who will you blame first? The question is rhetorical.
What measures should be taken if a girl refuses kisses?
Be sure to decide on the reasons for her not wanting it!
It is necessary to try to determine the true cause and understand its essence. Having dealt with the current problematic situation, it will become much easier for you to receive kisses from a girl. Communicate more and get to know each other - it’s so exciting if it’s mutual. You can identify the reasons why girls refuse to kiss you using the material presented above.
- Under no circumstances should you become embittered. To get a good attitude from a girl and she wants to kiss you, don’t take it out on her.
- Take care of yours and her nervous system. Fight aggression and do not scold the girl, and also do not quarrel.
- Restrain yourself, explain to the girl so that there are no omissions or any tension between you.
What to do and how to act as a guy
The guy first finds out the true reason for this behavior and gets to the bottom of it. Having found out the essence of the problem point, it will become easier to receive long-awaited kisses from the girl. Then your loved one will trust and respond with the desired tenderness.
Useful tips for a guy:
- The refusal of a loved one should not unsettle you. To woo a girl, contain your emotions; a sharp outburst of anger will push her away;
- Take care of the entire nervous system, find constructive ways out of aggression, find from your favorite point of contact;
- When sorting out your relationship with a girl, show restraint, do not get personal, so that the nervous tension between you subsides.
Humor in favor
Girls prefer cheerful guys who radiate positivity and good energy. Girls willingly allow to kiss. Desire comes naturally. Light, appropriate humor will help win over a girl, and the desire to kiss a guy appears naturally and naturally.
All the proposed methods and tips really work , each girl is unique in her own way, so an individual approach will be appropriate here, and the result in the form of a passionate kiss will not be long in coming.
