What to do if a child starts smoking? 11 tips from a child psychologist

09.17.201602.10.2017 Nadezhda Plotnikova 4 comments

The problem of nicotine addiction throughout the world is quite acute. Perhaps the most unpleasant thing about this medical and social phenomenon is that children are increasingly becoming smokers. According to statistics, boys smoke their first cigarette at the age of 10, young ladies - closer to 13 years.

And although the initial experience usually does not bring any pleasure, the child continues to smoke “for company”, fearing to stand out among his smoking peers. According to narcologists, addiction forms after the fifth cigarette smoked.

It is not surprising that many parents are concerned about what to do if their teenager starts smoking.

How to determine if a child smokes?

It is not very difficult to identify a smoker in a child, since teenagers usually do not know how to pretend or hide their hobbies. Therefore, the main signs of children who smoke are visible to the naked eye:

clearly noticeable smell of tobacco smoke;
dry cough;
yellowness of the skin of the face and hands, yellowish color of nails and teeth (this is especially evident in those teenagers who smoke cheap cigarettes);
excitability, mood swings, aggressive behavior (this may indicate that the child is addicted not only to cigarettes, but also to spice - smoking mixtures);
constant chewing of chewing gum (perhaps this is how the teenager tries to “drown out” the unpleasant smell);
obvious signs are found particles of tobacco, films from cigarette packs.

And, of course, the most obvious indicator is if you catch a child smoking a cigarette.
Here, as they say, you can’t get away with it. But the stories of “well-wishers” who allegedly saw your offspring smoking should be treated with a fair amount of skepticism. But you shouldn’t discount this information either; you just need to watch your son or daughter more closely.

The effect of secondhand smoke on pregnant women

The negative impact of passive smoking on pregnant women is difficult to overestimate.

Nicotine has a vasoconstrictor effect on the vessels of the uterus and placenta.

The body's absorption of vitamins C, B, and folic acid, which are necessary for normal growth and development of the fetus, is reduced.

There is a weakening of the immune system, which is already suppressed in a pregnant woman, so that the body does not reject the embryo, which half consists of someone else’s (paternal) genetic material. This causes an increased incidence of acute infections in pregnant women and aggravates the course of chronic pathologies.

Components of tobacco smoke have a mutagenic effect on eggs, which can cause genetic defects in offspring.

Often, against the background of tobacco intoxication, the placenta is located abnormally (placenta previa) in the lower part of the uterus near the internal uterine os. In this case, the woman will not be able to give birth naturally, since the placenta mechanically blocks the exit from the uterus.

Premature placental abruption is a complication when, as a result of vascular damage, the placenta separates before the birth of the fetus. The presence of the fetus in the uterus prevents the contraction of the muscle layer, so the vessels in the area of placental abruption bleed, and intrauterine bleeding develops, threatening the life of the mother and fetus.

Pathologies developing in the fetus under the influence of tobacco smoke:

Placental insufficiency, due to which the fetus receives little nutrients and oxygen. As a result, spontaneous miscarriages, premature birth, and the birth of a child in a state of hypoxia and with low weight are possible.
Fetal growth retardation syndrome. Children experience malnutrition during full-term pregnancy (body weight less than 2500 g), neurological abnormalities, a tendency to infectious diseases, and retardation in physical and mental development.
The risk of congenital fetal anomalies increases.
High likelihood of developing sudden infant death syndrome.

Why does a child start smoking?

If a teenager is addicted to smoking, first of all, parents need to understand why the addiction arose, where the “legs” of the first cigarette smoked come from. If you have a trusting relationship with your child, it is better to just talk.

In case of secretive behavior of your offspring, you need to analyze your relationship and remember the circle of his friends.

And yet, why does a child start smoking? Psychologists and narcologists identify the following reasons for the occurrence of such a habit:

the child takes an example from smoking parents;
interest in cigarettes, that is, I simply wanted to try it;
imitates smoking friends;
smoking is fashionable, from his point of view;
started smoking as a bet because his friends claimed that he was a weakling and a mama’s boy;
the child focuses on smoking characters in movies and music videos;
fell for flashy commercials showing approval of this lifestyle;
children protest against parental dictates in this way, that is, the child begins to smoke in spite of his mother or father (this is from the series “no one understands me”);
boring and monotonous pastime, lack of other hobbies, for example, playing sports;
desire to try the “forbidden fruit”.

As you can see, the list of possible reasons is quite impressive. However, the most significant and obvious motive is the personal example of smoking parents.

By the way, if you smoke yourself, this will significantly complicate the process of weaning your child from this harmful habit.

Cigarette harm

If parents smoke, then their children are forced to become hostages of the situation.
Penetrating into a child’s body, smoke, like a charger, has the function of accumulating, and then bulging with incredible force and manifesting itself as: – Diseases of the respiratory system of varying severity. Elementary colds provoke pneumonia and bronchitis primarily.

– Otitis and deafness.

– Decreased protective functions and immunity. Children with smoking parents become frequent patients in the ENT department. This tendency develops into a chronic condition, and with age, adolescents lose their hearing.

– Neurobiological changes. Aggression and mental disorders can become companions in the lives of such families.

– Anemia is a common factor in preschoolers, whose loved ones are not deprived of this harmful habit.

– Oncology is detected in pediatric patients 1.5 times more often as a result of passive smoking.

Medical research is often conducted to study the effects of cigarette smoke on children's immature bodies. Scientists summarize the sad statistics:

– The harm of parental addiction can take its toll over time. Smoke monotonously depletes the walls of the brain vessels. Such schoolchildren's memory deteriorates, children are unable to clearly formulate thoughts, and have weak intelligence.

– A large number of harmful substances are addictive. Passive smoking remains the source of the development of an allergic reaction, which turns into asthma.

The dangers of smoking

Before discussing the fight against this bad habit, it is necessary to dwell on how harmful nicotine is for the developing human body.

A modern child relates better to scientific facts than to hours-long parental lectures, not supported by anything other than emotions.

The greatest danger nicotine contained in tobacco products poses to the nervous system. This chemical compound easily depletes nerve cells, which is manifested by fatigue, irritability, and excessive excitability. Young smokers are always nervous and irritable.
Basic mental processes also suffer from smoking. Memory rapidly deteriorates, thinking also begins to malfunction. And the more a child smokes, the more clearly negative trends appear.
Another suffering side is the respiratory system. The respiratory organs, which are still imperfect, cannot process tobacco smoke and the tar, methane, and nitrogen it contains. Most of these chemical compounds settle on the lungs, which provokes numerous colds. Then the voice of adolescents who smoke begins to change, shortness of breath and a barking cough appear.
Tooth enamel also suffers from smoking. You've probably noticed that many smokers have yellow teeth. This is due to the temperature difference: the air inhaled by the child is colder than cigarette smoke, which leads to the destruction of tooth enamel.
A teenager who is addicted to cigarettes often experiences worsening skin conditions. Numerous pimples appear, the skin begins to become shiny. If you indulge in this habit excessively, a distinct yellowness of the skin and nails is observed.

The harm of smoking to a teenager's body

Smoking has a complex negative effect on a teenager’s body, affecting all systems and organs.

The cardiovascular system. The walls of blood vessels become less elastic, the vessels narrow, and become clogged with atherosclerotic plaques. The blood supply to organs is disrupted, hypoxia occurs. The load on the heart increases.
Respiratory system. The impact of harmful tars and nicotine on a child’s body primarily affects the condition and performance of the lungs. Their volume decreases, dirt accumulates on the walls, breathing becomes difficult, and less oxygen enters the body.
Brain, nervous system. Circulatory disorders and oxygen starvation of brain cells lead to deterioration of attentiveness, memory, and ability to concentrate. As a result, the teenager remembers and assimilates information worse. The nervous system also suffers, children either become too emotional or, on the contrary, become withdrawn and become depressed.
Hormonal system. Suffers primarily from nicotine. The functioning of the thyroid gland is disrupted, and disruptions in the production of hormones occur.
Reproductive system. Smoking causes irregularities in the menstrual cycle in girls and can negatively affect the ability to conceive and bear a child. In young men, the use of tobacco products can lead to problems with potency, and subsequently to infertility.

Effect on the body

In addition, smoking greatly weakens the immunity of minors. The body becomes vulnerable to various infections and viruses.

Examples of controversial parenting behavior

Adults, upon discovering that their child smokes, most often react very sharply and impulsively, even if they themselves are heavy smokers. Let's look at the most common and controversial parental reactions to children's smoking.

Advanced adults allow their offspring to smoke at home and even with them, arguing that they do not want him to take a drag on a cigarette somewhere in the alleys. Some children, embarrassed and feeling guilty, throw the pack away, while others perceive permission as a guide to action and begin to smoke even more, gradually moving on to heavier drugs.
The other extreme is to force the child to smoke the entire pack, so that he literally feels sick afterwards even from the smell of cigarettes. On many forums you can find similar stories: “My father forced me to smoke 20 cigarettes.” However, for some reason such revelations are written by heavy smokers who continue to smoke. In addition, this method is simply dangerous for the child’s health; there is a high probability of acute intoxication of the body and even death.
Another method is prohibitive. Parents, demanding that they stop using nicotine, forbid the teenager to communicate with “bad” company, or even go outside, and deprive him of pocket money and other privileges. The most common child’s reaction to such a parental step is demarche, rebellion, that is, the child will do everything out of spite: “They oppress me - I will smoke even more!”

Of course, the likelihood of getting a backlash from a teenager does not mean that adults should not try to resolve the problems that have arisen. Parents just need to use common sense and respect the child’s personality.

Who does the child communicate with?

Be interested in who the child communicates with and with whom he spends time. Sometimes it is a “bad” company that causes a bad habit! A teenager tries to be “like everyone else,” to look more mature in the company of friends.

Be aware of all the important events that happen in your child's life. Find time for confidential communication with him

It is important to explain to him that you can look “cool” without a cigarette in your mouth. Teach your teenager to stand up for his opinion and not to go to great lengths, even if many of his friends from the company do this

But this does not mean that from this very moment you should become a supervisor for your child and invade his personal space! Total control is not needed. A “freedom-loving” teenager will definitely not tolerate this. Annoying questions “when, where and with whom” can only become the cause of that very rebellion. Become his friend, then you won’t have to look for effective methods of dealing with your child’s bad habits.

If your child has not yet started smoking

The statistics are inexorable - most often children start smoking in those families in which one or both parents also like to smoke a cigarette. Therefore, the very first way to prevent this bad habit is your own parental example. Agree, it is useless and even immoral to talk about the dangers of smoking or undesirable consequences while holding a cigarette in your hand. What else needs to be done?

It would seem like banal advice, but many parents neglect it. It sounds simple - try to spend more time with your teenager, more often and be sincerely interested in his successes and failures. Try to share his hobbies: if he likes cycling, keep him company. Of course, you should not try to replace your peers and become “in the board”; you must remain an authority.
To prevent your child from saying: “No one listens to or respects me,” give him greater freedom in choosing clothes, literature, and musical preferences. This way you will reduce the risk of developing a bad habit due to teenage rebellion and the desire to act out of spite, showing your maturity and independence.
If your child is unsure of himself and tends to act “for the company”, being a follower in life, try to teach him to defend his own point of view and have his own position. Explain that you should not be like your peers and smoke because your friends smoke cigarettes. After all, a mature person knows how to resist the opinion of the crowd.
Conversations about the dangers of nicotine should be started not in adolescence, but in childhood, when kids first see “smoke rings coming out of their uncle’s mouth.” It is important to observe moderation here, that is, you should not brush off the curious toddler, but you should not intimidate him with scary stories and pictures. Consider the age of the child!

The best “vaccination” against smoking is exercise.
Firstly, the child develops a negative attitude towards cigarettes, which can ruin his sports career. Secondly, physical activity promotes the production of endorphins - happiness hormones, which also resemble a kind of drug, but, of course, are good for health. And thirdly, sports activities increase self-esteem and accelerate physical development, so there is no need to show your maturity with a cigarette.

Signs of use

If the situation is advanced, it is important to recognize it in time.
But experience, as a rule, shows the opposite - parents are the last to know about everything. Why? Parents do not always notice what is really happening with their child, and children, in turn, try to do everything so that adults do not suspect anything. Now there are ways to bypass all visible physiological signs of psychotropic substance use, so, for example, it will be difficult to determine something by the pupils.

Changes in behavior and emotional fluctuations can indicate not only puberty, but also the use of psychoactive substances. Perhaps the child was active, but suddenly became passive, or, conversely, was withdrawn, and suddenly began to actively communicate with someone.
A sudden change in social circle, not related to a change of school or relocation.
Increased or decreased appetite, changes in weight.
Disturbances of the sleep-wake cycle.
Neglect of one's appearance.
Dark glasses, long sleeves.
“Encrypted” conversations with friends, an abundance of slang words and expressions.
Foil, bags, burnt plastic bottles, medicine packaging (blisters).
Spitting green lumps (nasvay).
Commitment to a particular subculture. Some subcultures involve the use of mind-altering substances.

“It is impossible and pointless to work only with a child. The main task is to help the whole family, parents. A dysfunctional parenting style can exist in the happiest family, which is not at all marginal and socially prosperous.”

What to do if a teenager starts smoking?

So, you found out that the child tried to smoke. What might your reaction be? Of course, this news will upset you, and even more likely, you will fall into irritation and even rage. The most common reaction is a quarrel, scandal, hysteria (if the mother starts the conversation), spanks and slaps in the face. However, as psychologists assure, shouting will not help.

First of all, accept this news, try to “digest” it, calm down a little, and only then start talking with your offspring and thinking about what to do in such a situation. And there are, in fact, a huge variety of behavior options. The choice of the most appropriate one depends on several factors: the characteristics of the teenager, the reasons for his action, and the psychological atmosphere in the family. What to do if a child tries to smoke?

First of all, try to find out why he started smoking, what became the main motive for such behavior. However, it is important not just to get an answer from the child, but to find out whether he himself understands what caused smoking and how dangerous it is for his health.
There is no need to start a serious conversation with an appeal to his age, like, “You’re still too young to smoke or decide anything at all.” This is the most unproductive start to a conversation, since the child will start doing things out of spite in order to prove his maturity. On the contrary, talk to him like an adult, giving arguments.
If the reason is the desire to appear more mature, then try to prove that this is possible without nicotine addiction. An example could be some authoritative character - a musician, actor or great athlete who does not smoke and actively spreads the word about it.
If you yourself are a constant smoker, it’s time to end your addiction to cigarettes. You can invite your child to do this together - quitting smoking is always easier in a group. Tell him that giving up a habit is much easier at first, give examples of friends who have successfully dealt with addiction, discuss that the reluctance of adults to fight the habit shows a weakness of character.
Provide reliable medical data that clearly shows the dangers of nicotine to children's lungs and other organs. Watch documentaries, look at pictures (it is advisable to avoid the “chernukha”). The word “cancer” doesn’t mean anything to children yet, so focus on the consequences for the vocal cords, skin and tooth enamel.
If your child starts smoking out of boredom, find something to do with him that will take up most of his free time, so there is no time left for the desire to smoke. Be sure to find out what interests the teenager himself - for example, music, drawing. The best way out, as we wrote above, is to go in for sports, since athletes simply cannot smoke. And the remaining time from training can be spent hiking and traveling together.
Be sure to keep track of your offspring's friendships. However, you should not prohibit seeing the company, otherwise you will achieve the opposite result. Find out better what attracts a child to communicate with these specific children. Having found out why he strives for them, you can direct his energy in the right direction and, at the same time, change your behavior. It is no secret that it is parental busyness that often pushes teenagers to try something new and the desire to stand out in the crowd of their peers.
An alternative way is to give the teenager full responsibility for their own health. Did you find out that your child has started smoking? Pretend you don't care and let him make his own decision about smoking cigarettes. Usually, children, having heard such words from adults, almost immediately give up a bad habit, because now it has become permitted, open, and, therefore, now this fruit is no longer so forbidden and sweet.
Analyze the family situation, since emotional distress in the home is often manifested by children's addiction to cigarettes. Even with external gloss, the child feels useless and dissatisfied with his role in the social unit. He probably started smoking or is just trying to smoke to get your attention. This is a kind of return to early childhood, when the baby misbehaves in order to stay longer with you.
If, after a constructive conversation, your teenager promises to quit smoking, provide your full support. Regularly ask how he feels, whether he wants to pick up a cigarette again. Encourage and praise your child for every day he spends without nicotine. This is his and your small victory!
If none of the suggested recommendations help and you are afraid that your child may become addicted to more than just cigarettes, do not hesitate to seek qualified psychotherapeutic help. A psychologist will analyze your situation and give specific advice that is right for you. Just do everything carefully so that the child does not perceive your desire negatively.

Only a friendly attitude and your patience will help you find the right approach to a teenager who smokes. Give up shouting and scandals, punishments and curses, it is better to establish the cause, and then begin to eliminate the consequences.

And do not forget that every growing person needs to feel parental support. So your offspring should know that in every situation he can approach his mother or father, talk about his problem or share his own opinion. Only by building a trusting relationship with your child can you breathe a sigh of relief and not worry so much about the question of what to do if your child tries to smoke.