How to get married quickly and successfully: if you really want it, but it doesn’t work out

In this article I will tell you all the most important things about how to get married. You will learn what psychologists advise you to do to get married. How to do this step by step. Who you can safely marry, and who you should avoid relationships with altogether. As a result, after reading the article, you will know exactly what kind of man you need, how to find such a man and convince him to decide to marry you. And how not to make a mistake with your chosen one.

Most women, despite career successes and other achievements, want to start a family. However, it is not enough to want to get married, you need to find the right man, and also cope with your own fears and complexes. Let's look at what psychologists recommend.

Psychologist's advice for a successful marriage

It often happens that a woman is attractive, smart, successful, but her personal life still doesn’t work out. Often the reason for this is one’s own disturbing thoughts, stereotypes, fears and complexes.

One of the most common reasons why a woman is not married is the eternal confusion between two concepts - marriage and love.

When dating a man for some time, a woman mentally tries on the role of a spouse. But it is far from a fact that similar thoughts are spinning in a man’s head; it may happen that both have completely different goals and views on their future together.

To prevent this from happening, first you need to make sure that the man is in love with you. Read about it here.

Stereotypes imposed since childhood from films or conversations of mother’s friends are also harmful. The notorious “what people will say” and “this is how it should be” haunt women everywhere.

This also includes numerous “musts” for a man: giving diamonds, fur coats, buying a car, being a millionaire, etc. But, firstly, there simply aren’t enough oligarchs for everyone, and secondly, expensive gifts are not necessarily a sign of love.

The stumbling block can be the example of parents, learned in childhood. The relationship between mother and father sets the pattern of behavior for children. If the union was happy, both spouses helped and supported each other, the little girl will develop an example of a worthy man, whom she should look for in adulthood.

If the parents constantly argued, the father drank or cheated, the woman may subconsciously look for men with similar behavior, and, of course, there is no question of a happy marriage.

Watch the video below and find out which men women marry:

Am I worthy?

The second step on the path to the man of your dreams should be an analysis of yourself. Look at yourself, recreate the image of your future husband in your head, then look at yourself again. Will he like you? Most likely the answer will be no, and that's okay. However, this moment should be the starting point on the path to a happy marriage.

Get yourself in order - both externally and internally. Update your wardrobe, restore the beauty of your skin, nails, and hair. Work on your posture and smile. Let go of past grievances and disappointments, get rid of everything that prevents you from living happily. Learn to enjoy life without a worthy chosen one, rejoice in your existence! It is such a woman that attracts the admiring glances of men, and after them a successful marriage.

Step-by-step instructions for those who are ready to get married, but don’t know how

The desire to get married, of course, is wonderful, but without specifics it is impossible to fulfill. To take active action, you first need to clearly understand what is needed and why. A detailed plan will allow you to clearly define your requests and move on to active actions:

1. The first step is to introduce the man with whom you plan to marry. It is important to devote time to this activity, presenting everything - from appearance to character, profession and hobby. If you wish, you can draw an ideal husband.
2. When the image of the ideal man is found, it is necessary to think over the image of a suitable woman. It’s worth thinking carefully about what she should be like, how she should look, communicate, etc.
3. At this step, it is worth returning to the thoughtful image of the ideal wife and checking it with your own portrait. What is missing? What's in excess? What needs and can be done right now to get closer to the ideal? And start working on yourself.
4. Now it's time to think about where to meet the ideal husband. Pre-thought-out interests and hobbies will help with this. All that remains is to find common hobbies and go to possible places to meet - a fitness club, dance school, sports bar, ski resort, book club, foreign language courses, etc.
5. The last step is for those who already have a permanent partner, but are in no hurry to get married. Sometimes it’s enough just to talk about what he lacks for marriage. There is no need to be afraid to change for the sake of a man and to achieve a goal, but if there is no reaction in response, you should think about whether such a lack of initiative husband is needed?

Why does visualization work? Firstly, this simple practice allows you to sort everything out in your head and clearly define your goal. Well, and secondly, the set goal motivates you to get up from the couch and finally go out into a crowded place where there are more chances to meet a man.

What kind of man can you safely marry?

You need to approach starting a family with a cool head, and not with emotions. In the heat of passion, it is easy to make mistakes. How to understand that a man will be a good husband:

1. He gives gifts, makes compliments, and supports in case of trouble.
2. He helps with things - around the house, at work or in any other situation that requires help.
3. He smooths out conflicts and prefers to resolve quarrels with diplomacy rather than shouting.
4. He doesn't mind meeting his relatives and does everything to make the best impression.
5. He listens to the opinions of others and respects different points of view, even if he ends up doing things his own way.
6. He respects personal boundaries and does not demand that you change your social circle or give up any hobbies.

Of course, this is not a complete list of signs of a person in love. It is important to look at a man’s actions; if his words match his deeds, he is a serious and worthy person.

How to develop abilities?

Very simple. First, you need to determine WHAT TO DEVELOP. Then outline a clear plan for HOW YOU WILL DO IT. And then start ACTING. After some time, you will be able to develop the necessary abilities.

There are specific differences between girls who are able to charm real princes and girls who are not able to charm them. What are they?

Incapable girls cannot clearly determine how to charm a prince.

They don't know what this prince LIKES and DON'T LIKE about girls. And when you don’t know this, you can’t do anything to please him.

Again, incapable girls cannot give a clear definition of which prince they can charm. What kind of prince is this, and can he really be called a prince? What are its characteristics, what are its tastes, needs, etc.

To become ABLE to charm a prince, you need to accurately identify these abilities, and then begin to act.

Imagine the image of the man of your dreams - a real millionaire who can satisfy all your desires and aspirations in life.

Now set your goal: “I want to become His bride!”

Well, how is it working out? Not good? Why?

Because our Subconscious mind reacts to certain images. Empty words mean nothing to him. If our Subconscious mind likes some image, it does everything possible to help you realize it. If you don’t like it, the image will not be realized in your life.

Let's create a detailed and voluminous image, and then your chances of success will increase significantly.

How to convince your partner to take the relationship to a higher level?

Readiness for marriage is a logical continuation of romantic encounters and life together. If a man is not ready to at least share one territory together, he can hardly count on a wedding. If the candy-bouquet period lasts for years, you need to take active action. Here are a few brief theses that can safely guide any woman who wants to get married:

1. It’s a paradox, but first of all, you shouldn’t show your intentions too clearly, so as not to scare off the man. The partner must consider that he himself made such a decision, and pressure will be met with hostility.
2. You can motivate your chosen one to get married by creating a feeling of competition with other men.
3. It is important to take care of yourself and maintain your image. It is not necessary to strive for vigorous sexuality - just beautiful clothes and hair, and, of course, confidence in your beauty.
4. All men are caught having sex, but the monotony gets boring, so it’s worth delighting him with surprises.
5. A cozy home is a refuge for any man, a place where you can relax and feel completely at peace.
6. As you know, the way to the heart is through the stomach, so you should pay more attention to homemade dishes.
7. The desire to have children from a woman is a good reason to get married; it is important to show a man love for children.
8. Common hobbies bring people together.
9. More praise and compliments. Men love it no less than women when they are sincerely admired and praised. Do not forget about this if you want to win the heart of your chosen one.
10. You shouldn’t nag your partner by constantly reproaching him. Few people like this, and constant reproaches only irritate and certainly do not increase the desire to marry such a grumpy woman. If you need to point out an error, it should be done gently.
11. Requests for advice or help in something flatter men; they like to consider themselves the smartest and most skillful. You should not dissuade them by arguing with them. If the advice is not very good, you don’t have to follow it at all, just nod in agreement and agree how smart he is.
12. You shouldn’t constantly complain; continuous whining quickly gets boring and annoying. If the issue is resolved without the participation of your partner, you should not bother him. However, there is also no need to hide some serious incidents in life, as in spy films - it is better to maintain a golden mean.
13. Men need understanding like air; there is no better partner who understands you perfectly. This simple formula is one of the building blocks of a successful marriage.
14. It's important to be positive. Men have a lot of stressful situations and problems; at home they want to see a joyful woman who will support them and at the same time cheer them up.

Important!

The most difficult thing in striving for a wedding is giving up attempts to control your partner by depriving him of his freedom. This applies to everything - interests, hobbies, friends, etc. You cannot build happiness with prohibitions and scandals. You need to properly motivate a man.

Which men should you avoid?

The future chosen one can behave extremely politely, be affectionate and get along with his relatives, but this may turn out to be just a glossy facade behind which a monster is hiding. Alarm bells:

1. He doesn't keep his word and makes a lot of empty promises.
2. He is indifferent to the problems of his other half.
3. He limits his social circle and gently but persistently demands that he give up work or contacts with relatives. This happens so smoothly that when the trap slams shut, the woman will find herself alone with the abuser without the support of friends, and sometimes without financial resources.
4. He is constantly jealous and carefully monitors every step.
5. When praising, he will definitely point out some shortcoming, saying that the dinner, of course, was delicious, but the salad could have been cut smaller. This behavior makes a woman think that she herself is to blame for everything, including all the troubles and misfortunes of her husband.
6. He raises his hand during an argument. If this happens once, you need to leave the man without talking - in most cases it will get worse.
7. If a man speaks badly about ex-women, this is an attempt at manipulation.

Important!

Domestic tyrants create the impression of ideal people in public, they play to the public, and it is difficult to recognize such a person. Therefore, use the tips above to identify such people right away. And don't waste time on them.

What films should I watch?

So many films have been made on the theme of weddings that a lifetime would not be enough to watch them all.

But you can choose a few of the most interesting ones in order to laugh at funny incidents and sympathize with the heroines. What to see:

1. " Bachelorettes
   ." This story is about how three school friends were invited to a wedding by their former classmate. Relations between the girls during their school years were very bad, which could not but affect their communication in adulthood. Whether by design or not, the trio ruins the bride's wedding dress, and this is where their adventures begin in finding a new outfit and, of course, the love of their lives.
2. " Wedding Trouble
   ." It’s every organizer’s worst nightmare when all plans fall apart at the seams: the best man behaves disgustingly, the bridesmaids are late, the guests are not so great. Is it possible to maintain self-control and love in such a difficult situation, when already on the first day of life together everything goes to hell?
3. " Runaway Bride
   ". It can easily be considered one of the gold reserves of films about weddings. The main character ran away from the wedding three times; these cases did not go unnoticed by one journalist. But he was fired for the article, and the hero decided to take revenge, for which he goes to look for a frivolous bride, but in the process he himself falls in love with her.

Answers on questions

I'm afraid to get married. What to do?

Fears can greatly ruin your life. Previous unsuccessful relationships or the experiences of parents and friends may cause a woman to be wary of any close acquaintances. What you fear is attracted to life. Having seen enough of the sad experiences of her friends or relatives, such a woman herself will play according to an already familiar scenario. The first step to solving a problem is recognizing your fears and being willing to fight them. Not all blocks can be removed on your own; in some cases, professional help from a psychologist may be required.

What are the ways to get married?

You can date for six months, but then the relationship should move to a deeper level. Living together will allow you to take a closer look at each other in their natural habitat. Living together means learning to make compromises, put up with your partner’s habits, solve problems together, etc.

It is at this stage that two situations can motivate a man to propose:

1. The desire to please your woman, understanding that the wedding is very important.
2. Fear of losing the chosen one, who, due to the long wait, is ready to “jump off.”

But no one can say how long it will take to make such a decision. It is best to talk directly with your partner about marriage, without concealment or manipulation. If a man is not ready to take on such a decision, you should not build a future life with him.

How to marry a foreigner?

Marrying a foreigner is very tempting - it is an opportunity to move to another country in the hope of a better life. In addition, foreign suitors are surrounded by an aura of mystery and romance, but do not delude yourself - by and large, people all over the world are the same. But if you still want to connect your life with a foreigner, there are some tips:

• You can meet a potential husband on the Internet on Russian-language dating sites and social networks.
• If you wish, you can contact marriage agencies, but this method requires considerable costs.
• On foreign social networks it is much easier to meet your future husband.
• Business trips to other countries or international conferences are an excellent reason to make romantic acquaintances. This also includes exchange studies.

Well, in order to win the heart of a foreigner, it is important to show yourself from a more advantageous side. Europeans and Americans are not spoiled by the attention of women; equality has already won there, and even a simple compliment on the street can get you sued. You can play on the attention of a man, show your softness and femininity, fragility, thriftiness and, of course, beauty.

How to get married with a child?

A difficult task, but still doable. The main problem here is that a man is primarily looking for a woman, and not a child at all. And if he sees his chosen one in a woman and is ready to connect his life with her, then he will accept the child. It is important not to hide the existence of children, but at the same time, on dates you should not constantly talk only about the child. You also need to take a closer look at your own social network account: if there are only photos with children, for a man this is a red traffic light.

It is important to set yourself the goal of first of all looking not for a father, but for a man.

You shouldn’t just immerse yourself in caring for your child; it’s important to develop, broaden your horizons, and not give up your hobby. An interesting, bright woman will attract a man much faster than a housewife overwhelmed by everyday life.

Marriage is not an end in itself

Your goal is not just to ring a gaping guy, but to build a strong and harmonious relationship.

The psychology of men and women is significantly different. Girls often perceive marriage as an obligatory point in their life program, an indispensable condition for happiness.

For guys, marriage means unnecessary obligations and loss of personal freedom. A strong man is not afraid of difficulties and is ready to become the head of the family, but a weak man is already comfortable, because “we need to test our relationship.”

Due to the fault of weak men, ladies began to treat marriage as a trophy. Yes, you can set a goal: to definitely get married.

Achieve results and receive a certificate “For creating a family.” What's next? In fact, two completely different people live under the same roof, connected only by a stamp in their passport!

And they need to learn to interact, negotiate, and find compromises.

Many people believe that “Love is like war - all methods will do.” But there are mistakes that are highly discouraged.

Marry the first person you meet . “I want to get married, what should I do? Here is Igor, he seems to like me. He likes my photos and invited me to the cinema. Maybe he will endure it and fall in love? Otherwise I’ll sit until I retire, choosing suitors.”

Of course, you don’t have to wait for old age, but is it better to live with someone you don’t love? Fate is a lady with quirks.

You can meet your soulmate on the street, in the subway or on a dating site! And a marriage with a man who you don’t even like is doomed to failure.

Marriage by chance . Cases when a bride walks down the aisle while pregnant is not uncommon. But an accident is one thing, and a planned campaign to ring a guy is another.

Perhaps he will marry you, but in 80% of cases such marriages break up and the woman is left alone. Not every man is ready to take responsibility for his wife, let alone fatherhood?

The thought of a small screaming creature scares the crap out of many people! Before you decide to do this, think, because if you fail, you will cripple two destinies at once - yours and your child’s.

Nothing to do . I’m sitting here so beautiful and thinking, why doesn’t anyone marry me? It’s probably just that real men have become extinct, like dinosaurs, and don’t know how to recognize a beautiful rose among the weeds.

But why not ask yourself the question: what am I doing to attract the stronger sex? Working from dusk to dawn?

At best, I go out to the store and the nearest bank branch, and on weekends I prefer to sleep under a warm blanket in all positions and watch good films.

What kind of dates, walks, gatherings in cafes? I want fate to find me itself... Everything would be fine, but I’m already thirty-five, and the prince on a white horse is in no hurry. Lost my way, I guess!

Dear girls, to get married successfully you need to at least find a candidate! Meet new people, get out of the house more often (seminars, theater performances, even go to the movies), become an active user of a dating site.

At-risk groups . “Oh, he’s not an alcoholic at all, he just relaxes in the evenings,” “Well, he looked at Svetka’s breasts, so what? He’s not a womanizer, he’s good.”

Learn to weed out unworthy men. You don’t need to consider yourself a super teacher who will turn an inveterate bully into a good boy.

Risk groups: people with serious addictions (alcohol, drugs), aggressive tyrants, womanizers.

Maybe while hormones are boiling in your blood you will turn a blind eye to their shortcomings, but later your life will turn into hell.

And you yourself will regret your decision. But Fr. will appear in the passport.

What to remember:

So, summarizing all of the above, we can highlight the most important points:

1. Down with fears and complexes - this is an obstacle to a happy personal life. If there are problems that you cannot solve on your own, you should contact a specialist.
2. A clear goal is achievable, but scattered, vague “wants” are not. What should a man be like? What does it take to match it? Is he worthy? The questions listed above must be answered before the wedding.
3. Marriage is an important step that needs to be approached with a cool mind. Behind the pink fog of falling in love, you can miss dangerous calls and fall straight into the clutches of a tyrant or selfish person. You should not ignore warning signs in the behavior of your chosen one.

If you have life stories based on your own experience, share them in the comments to the article.

Dating websites

You can take a different path, more thorny, but also providing the opportunity to find your soul mate. These are online dating sites. But remember that when dating online, you should follow some safety rules that will help you avoid unnecessary meetings. Some people are skeptical about dating sites, but nevertheless, there are those who got married thanks to meeting people through the site.

There are paid and free sites with various services - for example, psychological testing for compatibility. Paid ones give you greater confidence that you will meet real people on the pages who are looking for the same thing as you.

You should not believe one hundred percent everything that is written in user profiles on online dating resources. Here, inner intuition and life experience of communicating with people come into play. Many people are simply embarrassed or even afraid to write real information about themselves. Photos also don't always convey what you can see in reality.

Therefore, do not delay the correspondence; it is better to see it once in reality than to see it a hundred times on the pages of the site. Do not harbor unnecessary illusions in order to avoid unnecessary disappointments.

The most important thing is to carefully select candidates for conversations and further dates. It's worth making a date if you are sure of your liking. At the same time, if you have a liking for your interlocutor, try not to delay online communication, but to meet in reality - at the meeting you will immediately understand what kind of person is in front of you.

Follow all the rules for safe online dating (meet in a public place, don’t get into a stranger’s car, don’t ask to be walked home, always have cash and a working cell phone with you, etc.). These are necessary precautions. Listen to your intuition - if during a date you feel that something is wrong, there is discomfort in communication, then you should not continue communicating with this person.

But if the inner feeling is calm, then communication can be continued. But what if you don’t like meeting people via the Internet at all?