Several opinions about feelings
Everyone will probably answer in their own way about whether love lasts a lifetime, taking into account their own experience. According to one version, a person has not just one soul mate, but several who accompany us at various stages of life in order to teach us something and provide the necessary experience for development. According to people who have experienced such meetings, communication with “their person” is unforgettable and filled with strong emotions.
Not everyone distinguishes between passion, infatuation and love, which is why they tend to think that love is short-lived. And since people are fixated on the primitive and accessible form of love - passion, the attraction of opposites - its other, higher forms are not revealed to them. Whether love will last a lifetime depends on how seriously both partners work on their relationship.
Or maybe the whole point is to be able to manage your feelings, which are revealed after the perfect choice in favor of this or that person? After all, everyone can create a fairy tale out of relationships. The lack of emotions is initially compensated by skillfully directed attention, and then, with the advent of complete mutual understanding, feelings also mature.
What is falling in love?
Falling in love manifests itself when meeting the person you like in a feeling of euphoria, tightness, a feeling of “butterflies in the stomach,” a hurricane of emotions and melancholy when your loved one is not around. To strengthen and maintain this feeling, it is enough to see each other rarely, and also have little information about each other. In such a state, you need to manage your emotions so as not to do anything stupid under their influence.
In accordance with the psychology of love and gender relations, the connection between people exists on a spiritual, emotional, chemical, physical level. And after falling in love, it's time to love. But often this does not happen: communication is replaced by sexual relationships, for which people realize that they have no future. Love for life is possible when you can turn love into trust, understanding, and fidelity.
One love and forever, is this possible?
Despite the fact that this question will seem serious and quite controversial to many, philosophical and not at all unambiguous, I assure you that it is quite easy to answer it clearly and unambiguously. Moreover, not only I can do this, but you too. I repeat, there is no room for any subjectivity or bias in this answer. He will be as objective and unbiased as possible.
So what is the answer and how do you find it?
And it's very easy to find:
If you can give a real example of eternal (
in the sense of lifelong
) love, then it exists.
I draw your attention to the fact that a negative answer will not be so justified. Because if you are unable to give such an example, it may well be that there is one, but you are simply not familiar with such people. For example, due to the narrowness of your social circle. That is, I repeat, if you can give a real example of love that lasts a lifetime, then it exists. If not, the question remains open.
So, tell me, dear listener, do you know people who have loved or love each other all their lives? To be on the safe side, let's consider only cases where the duration of this love is at least 30 years. A shorter period is not so convincing, since it gives pessimists a reason to claim that lovers still have everything ahead of them and their feelings may fade over time. And 30 years of love (I repeat - love, and not just living together), this is already very serious proof.
I don’t know about you, but I personally know such a couple. Or rather, he knew. My great-aunts and uncles lived in perfect harmony for more than 40 years. And all these years they literally blew away specks of dust from each other. They loved, supported each other, took care of each other. As far as I know, they spent most of their free time (if not all) together. All 40 years. But this did not cool their feelings, but on the contrary, only made them stronger.
After grandfather Vanya (may he rest in heaven) passed away, his wife remained in this world for a very short time. Three months later, seeing no point in further existence without her beloved husband, she left after him. I sincerely hope that they are together in heaven.
If you, dear reader, do not have such examples before your eyes, ask your friends, maybe they have them, or use mine. I assure you, there are such cases, cases of eternal love between a man and a woman. And if they exist, then that means there is this same love.
However, I think you yourself knew all this very well. Or at least they guessed. The real question, the question that probably worries not only the person who asked me about eternal love, but also you, is the question of how to find such love?
This is what we will talk about now.
First of all, I would like you to separate in your mind the two different types of love. The first is trembling in the knees, insane passion, loss of self-control and will over one’s feelings and actions. Madness that cannot be stopped. That is, love that arises suddenly, sometimes, at first sight, at a distance and long before we get to know the person at all well.
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And the second type of love is a consciously cultivated feeling that is born from sympathy and respect.
In the process of recognizing a person. That is, when we fall in love with a person after we get to know him. If you give preference to the first option and value it much higher than the second, believing that an uncontrollable feeling that is born in the soul, contrary to our desires, is real love, and the one that is born gradually, sometimes with little conscious effort, is kind of like , and not love at all, it’s difficult for me to give you any recommendation. It all depends on luck. That is, if you are lucky, and your knees tremble when meeting a person worthy of this feeling, eternal love is quite possible (Again, unless you suddenly ruin everything yourself - an uncontrollable feeling, it is also uncontrollable, which sometimes provokes us to the most incredible deeds). And if you come across a bitch (or a scoundrel for girls), I can only sympathize with you. Not to mention the fact that such love is rarely mutual and happy, it rarely lasts. Because it literally dries you out. Depriving you of strength and desire to love.
In the second option, in the case of love that appears in your heart gradually, it can also be eternal without any conscious effort. You just love your whole life, and they love you all your life. But another option is also possible. An option when sympathy and respect gradually turn into love and remain in this status until the end of your days under the influence of your joint efforts with your loved one. I would venture to say that this is much more reliable.
What is needed for this? What does it take to be guaranteed to find love in your life that will never go away?
First of all, you need to choose the right person
. How to choose it? Here are my tips:
Advice one. He must be sexually attractive to you.
I hope you don't need to explain in detail why sexual attractiveness is important for building a lasting relationship? Yes, I agree with those who claim that after a while it will not mean as much to you as before. But even then it won’t hurt. And at the first stage, sexual attractiveness is a hundredfold important. It will act as the cement of your relationship with your loved one. Fills life with many positive feelings and, in fact, motivates you for further work. The desire to keep a sexually attractive partner in our lives often pushes us to soul-searching and compromise.
Tip two. You must respect him.
Sex, as I already said, ceases to take first place in your relationship with your partner after just a few years of marriage. His role continues to be significant. But it is still much smaller than before. Therefore, if nothing else connected you with your loved one other than sex, most likely the relationship is doomed.
Try to avoid this danger from the very beginning. I recommend that you choose a person whom you will respect and who will admire you as a person. You should feel good with him. You should be proud to live with this person. And then everything will be much easier and more reliable.
Tip three. He should be interested in building a serious relationship.
Even the most wonderful, sexually attractive and interesting people are sometimes not interested in lasting relationships. Well, they like to be free, flutter from one flower to another, change one partner for another and that’s it!
If there is such a person in front of you, be sure that sooner or later it will get to you. You will begin to feel irritated and angry. And after a while, internal negativity will poison your love and leave only disappointment.
Tip four. He should be interested in building a relationship with you.
There are people who like to set themselves almost impossible tasks. Conquer Jamalungma, cross the ocean alone on a raft, build a relationship with a girl who loves another... If you are one of them, I can only wish you good luck and patience. A life full of extremes fills your heart with a lot of emotions. But there will not necessarily be love among them.
I declare to everyone else that it is better to build love with the person who wants it. Who is ready to negotiate, is able to make sacrifices for you and who enjoys being with you.
Tip five. He must be able to work on himself.
No matter how attractive a person is to you, no matter how interested he is in a relationship with you, if he is not able to change, if he does not know how to compromise, take into account your point of view, listen and hear you, you are unlikely to have anything it will work out. Look for a person who is ready to negotiate and experiment. And then, if a problem arises between you, you will at least be able to solve it. And thus preserve your love forever.
I will tell you later how to build eternal love with such a person after you find him. This is the topic of a separate article, book, or maybe even a course. For now, I say goodbye to you.
What is love?
Love is a feeling that comes to a person regardless of his age, beliefs, upbringing, or life position.
Some people tend to call emotions a drug addiction, a disease, a type of mental disorder. Yes, these people actually loved once. But in those cases where love was immature, it turned out to be unhappy, so it brought a psychological attitude like the one that it is no longer worth opening up to feelings.
Everyone knows that the first stage of love - the so-called passion - gradually passes, and instead there is a unity of souls, which is expressed in strong friendship, absolute mutual understanding, confidence in each other, and sympathy. And the nature of further communication depends on how wisely the partners approach building relationships. Experts identify several stages of relationships that are common to all couples:
- honeymoon (the period can last up to six months and allows you to get rid of your fears);
- confrontation of egos (passes when partners begin to objectively look at each other’s shortcomings; at this time it is important to learn how to work with complaints);
- true love.
Perceiving another person as a part of yourself is a manifestation of love that cannot be destroyed. People cannot imagine reality other than in the form of life together. Those who are lucky enough to meet their soul mate are sure that feelings do not disappear, but only change their form. But without them, existence will become meaningless.
Love differs from falling in love by the desire to take care of a person, to have compassion, to respect, to show affection not only to him, but also to other people, to give everyone a wonderful mood. Love is the result of working on oneself, the desire to learn to live in mutual understanding, the willingness to work on preserving feelings.
Can love last a lifetime?
Can love burn for a lifetime? The short answer is:
- Falling in love cannot last forever and will die out within a certain period of time.
- Love can burn all your life, but only for rare people of a high level of development. That is, this pleasure is rare and expensive.
- But a kind and bright relationship in a couple is a much more realistic thing, and perhaps this is what most reasonable people should strive for.
Now more details. What to do to love all your life? When asked about love, we want to answer only in poetry, but our answers will not be entirely romantic, a lot will have to be clarified.
Firstly, are you talking about love or falling in love? Love cannot burn endlessly.
Usually, falling in love lasts three years (or less), then the body gets used to it and the chemistry stops working. All. Look for a new source of charm...
The chemistry stops working, but there are people who live in a state of love almost constantly. In this case, it is difficult to say that a person is in love with someone in particular, he is in love with life, and this is transmitted to a specific person.
Then for the first 3 years you love a girl, the next - your young wife, then the Madonna and Child, then the mother of a first-grader and a beautiful woman. And so on - right down to the perky old lady, surrounded by a flock of grandchildren.
Changing a person's social role and changing his inner world allows love to burn all his life - provided that this person knows how to love. Of course, the color of love also changes: in place of the old love (romantic love, love-passion), another love gradually comes: love-joy, love-gratitude.
Now the main question: are you talking about love or relationships? Love and relationships are about different things: you know couples who have very good and stable relationships with each other, but they don’t talk about love. When people ask about love for life, they often mean something else: a good relationship for a long time. With love everything is more complicated, but with relationships it’s easier. Maybe this is how it should be: first sort out relationships, make your relationships with your loved ones excellent, and then think about love and other beautiful things? Good relationships are very real, and good relationships, caring for each other, are the basis of love.
However, maybe your question “is it possible to love forever” is about something else. Maybe you dream that your feeling will be eternal on its own, without your efforts, do you want to love all your life without doing anything for it? If yes, then you can continue to want it, but it doesn’t happen that way. The feeling itself is not eternal: for a certain period you will light up, but for the rest of your life you won’t.
If you want to love throughout your life, then you must take care to live joyfully and be attentive to your loved ones. And live like this for the rest of your life. Actually, this is work, this is effort, but if you love, these efforts are joyful for you, and after years they are no longer hard, but natural and familiar.
Isn't it hard for you to work with a spoon during breakfast? It’s the same here.
Nothing complicated: you need to get enough sleep, do exercises, become organized, master the internal Good and external Sun, learn to love - that is, in general, master the Distance program and other work on yourself. And if you are not going to work, dear romantic, then in your life eternal love will be mainly on TV.
Video from Yana Schastie: interview with psychology professor N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be to get married successfully? How many times do men get married? Why are there not enough normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A fairy tale that could not have happened better. Payment for the opportunity to be near a beautiful woman.
Eternal love or addiction?
A person whose meaning in life is to serve the same partner is called a monogamist. In their perception, the rejection of feelings is like a global catastrophe. Their thoughts will be directed towards one person all their lives.
A person who is convinced that he is not able to live without the object of his love should discover an important truth: feelings go and come, their new forms, levels, shades appear. It’s worth coming to terms with this and not giving yourself a heart attack, and not closing yourself off, but opening yourself up to the world.
Unrequited lovers do not want to perceive the world otherwise than through the prism of their feelings, which forces them to suffer for many years.
Does non-reciprocal love mean that a person is bad?
If you fall in love but are not reciprocated, the thought that you are not good enough often arises. In fact, the lack of mutual love does not indicate how good you are at all. You simply do not meet the criteria of the person you liked. This is neither good nor bad, it just happens that way. However, there are probably people for whom you will be the most ideal, even if you don’t change anything about yourself.
Photo on Unsplash
In other words, there will always be people in this world who like you, who are ready to fall in love with you, who will be indifferent and even unpleasant to you. This happens to all people. If you want reciprocity, you have only one behavior left - to look for a person who will like you and who will like you. Otherwise there will be no reciprocity.
What psychologists say
One should not expect and look for ideals that would “overshadow”, “click”, completely subjugating oneself. Before finding love, it is recommended to show unconditional attitude towards your partner, reveal your generosity, and do not spare warmth. And then, on the basis of nobility, a spark will first appear, and then a strong feeling will strengthen and blossom.
All people are unique, so relationships with each person develop in a special way. But there are laws, based on which, you can achieve the desired results. According to the psychology of relationships, love can be preserved for life by showing tenderness, care, as well as negative experiences that should not be hidden. Indifference is more harmful than resentment.
In any family, disputes and conflicts are possible, and this is normal. The main thing is, in the process of searching for the truth, not to humiliate, not to insult another, not to underestimate his importance, and not to lose sight of his self-esteem.
The psychology of life and love in a couple suggests that there is no person who can satisfy all the interests of his other half. It should also be understood that addiction leads to a painful sense of self, vulnerability, and depression.
For the stability of relationships, not only moral support is important, but also physical intimacy, including caresses and touching hands. But too much interaction encourages partners to distance themselves from each other.
Mutual spending time is necessary, which is useful for strengthening relationships. And if at an early stage people stayed together due to strong emotions, then later they need to take care of joint activities and hobbies.
Why do some people love, but others don’t reciprocate?
Quite often people meet partners who do not reciprocate their feelings. Love arises in a person, he wants to feel and see that he is loved in return, but how bitter it becomes when a partner does not give what he wants. Such situations become frequent, where love is of a different nature - it becomes non-reciprocal, unrequited, unrequited, unhappy, etc.
It doesn’t matter whether the partners are, where one loves and the other allows love, in a relationship or not. We understand only the question of why love is not a mutual feeling. Let's return to the fact that love is a feeling that arises inside a person and does not go beyond his feelings, thoughts, experiences and other manifestations of the soul.
Photo on Unsplash
Love cannot be shared, given or transferred. This is the first clue as to why it may not be mutual: one person experiences this feeling, but in another it simply does not arise. Just because you love does not mean that the person to whom your feelings are directed will experience the same.
Since love arises in every person for certain reasons, in a particular couple it may manifest itself in some, but not in others. Not all people fall in love with each other. Even you, the reader, don't fall in love with everyone. You have certain types and criteria that make you fall in love with certain people. Everyone else is not noticed by you or you do not feel any feelings for them. This does not mean that some people are bad and some are good. It's just that every person falls in love for certain reasons.
If a couple arises where one loves, but the second does not reciprocate, it means that the second met the criteria of the first, and the first did not meet the criteria of the second. Mutual love arises only when a man has seen in a woman what he wants to see in his beloved, and this woman has seen in her man those sides that are attractive to her.
Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash
They both fell in love with each other, but even here it cannot be said that they love equally. Each partner loves the other as much as he is interesting and suitable for him. This leads to the conclusion that a man and a woman can love each other, but at the same time, one of them may not love enough so as not to be able to break up at some point and fall in love with the other person.
Love is not a priori mutual feeling. Undoubtedly, she is pleasant when she is reciprocated. It is pleasant for a person who loves and is loved in return. However, love itself is never a mutual feeling simply because it does not arise in the external environment, but inside an individual.
Let's put it this way:
- Love is a feeling that a person experiences in his heart and mind. His feelings are his feelings, which may be different from his partner's feelings.
- A relationship is already a union of people who agree to do certain things for each other. Depending on the feelings that each partner experiences, certain relationships are formed. For example, friends do not agree to sleep with each other, but they want to communicate and spend time together. When people want to touch, sleep with each other, connect their lives with the lives of their partners, submit to some extent to their loved ones, then they create a loving relationship.
Since love does not go beyond the person in love, it cannot arise in the heart of another individual. Moreover, for every person, love arises when he meets a partner who meets all his criteria for a loved one.
Here a person can like someone, but at the same time not feel affection for the individual in love with him, since he does not meet his criteria for a second half. The same is true vice versa. Mutuality occurs when a man and a woman find in each other what they need. Otherwise it will not arise.
Male psychology
Every girl probably asked herself the question of whether there is one love for a lifetime, given the natural practicality and down-to-earthness of men who are not always able to express feelings.
In fact, a man can love one woman his entire life. The only question is to find a person who is looking for love and is able to maintain consistency.
Male psychology in love and relationships differs from female psychology in that a representative of the stronger sex is able to withdraw into himself in the event of a quarrel. Therefore, it is important for a woman to be able to find an approach to her partner without pushing him away.
A feature of the male psyche also includes the ability to switch to the appearance of a pretty girl, her form, but this is only a temporary phenomenon that does not cancel true feelings. If he used physical force against a woman, you should not believe all his persuasion: such a man will repeat the humiliating action more than once.
A lover will emphasize the advantages and disadvantages of his other half, while a “flawed” one will only look for shortcomings in her and her relatives, while understanding that there are no ideal people. A loving person will do everything to share responsibilities, take part in any events in his partner’s life, and will not avoid activities that are not entirely familiar to him.
Even if a man is silent, on a subconscious level he compares and draws up a holistic picture about his partner: how she endures conflicts, how she spends time with him. The outlook and values of his beloved should not remain familiar to him. For a relationship to last, a man needs to feel admiration and interest in his woman.
The Jizn
We are unable to last in a relationship for a little more than a couple of months, complaining about at least five reasons, and someone carries their love through their entire lives. These are the couples who found love for life.
1. Winston and Clementine Churchill
From the outside it may seem that this couple was not so happy: the number of joint breakfasts can be counted on the fingers of one hand, vacations at different times and to different countries, their interests did not always coincide.
In addition, Churchill drank a lot, smoked, ate excessively, gambled, and was always dissatisfied with something. But behind all this lies a story of strong love, an inseparable family and a wise wife. Instead of expressing her grievances, putting out her cigars and leading him out of the casino by the hand, she completely accepted him. They say that Churchill did not make a decision without first consulting his wife - she was his best friend and strongest adviser.
To the question: “How to build an ideal marriage?” they remained silent, but once Clementine Churchill, speaking at a lecture at Oxford University, said: “Never force your husband to agree with you.”
2. Maya Plisetskaya and Rodion Shchedrin
“On the title pages of four ballets by Rodion Shchedrin there is my name: “The Little Humpbacked Horse” - to Maya Plisetskaya. “Anna Karenina” - Maya Plisetskaya, invariably. “The Seagull” - Maya Plisetskaya, always. “Lady with a Dog” - Maya Plisetskaya, forever.”
There were two great loves in Plisetskaya’s life – ballet and Shchedrin; and Shchedrin himself has music and Plisetskaya. They were in love with each other as boundlessly as possible.
Not everyone succeeds in this creative union - someone has to give in, give up the palm. Plisetskaya herself wrote in her memoirs that Shchedrin was always in the shadow of the spotlights of her success, but never suffered from it. Otherwise it would be impossible to live such a cloudless life together: “But, in essence, it is not easy when two artists live side by side. One person has to give way to someone every day. If you do this constantly, through effort, gritting your teeth, the imaginary balance will certainly be disrupted in the end and... the end of the union.” She tried not to miss a single concert of his, he came to all her ballets, was present at many rehearsals, together they made their way through the “slingshots” of Soviet censorship in order to obtain permission for performances...
Thousands of hours of phone conversations from different countries, hundreds of ideas spoken, dozens of years side by side. They put each other on a pedestal and never doubted each other. It was an alliance of the strongest.
3. Marc and Bella Chagall
Moishe Segal and Bella Rosenfeld met in the apartment of their mutual friend. In their memoirs, they both wrote that it was love at first sight - they felt a magical attraction. At the very first meeting, Chagall said to himself: “This is my future wife.”
Together they survived Marc Chagall's unsuccessful attempts to become a teacher, a public figure, a practically starving life in Moscow, and endless travel. It was she who revealed his talent, she made him believe in herself and never stopped believing in him. None of his work was shown to the world without the approval of his dear Bella. “I thought that there were treasures hidden in Bella’s heart,” wrote Chagall. Unfortunately, his muse left him after 30 years of such pure love.
4. Salvador Dali and Elena Dyakonova (Gala)
Their love is complete madness. Beautiful, sophisticated. Another muse of the artist, who was 10 years older than him. Another love at first sight: “Gala pierced me like a sword directed by providence itself. It was a ray of Jupiter, like a sign from above, indicating that we should never part.”
Many say that Gala played many roles for Dali: mother, nanny, secretary, muse, manager, wife, lover, goddess, muse. We know Dali only thanks to Dyakonova: she worked tirelessly, “worked through” the necessary contacts, promoted him wherever it was possible and impossible. She knew that he was talented and dreamed of proving it to the world. They lived together for more than 50 years together, almost never being separated, and got married only after 29 years of marriage. Their life can be described by the word “shocking”, but it was also love.
5. Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Mercedes Barcha Pardo
This story is about two absolute antipodes, where the man is a crazy and passionate writer, and she is the embodiment of calm and harmony. They met at a dance, when Mercedes was very young. That same evening, Marquez proposed to her and... thirteen years later he fulfilled his promise. All these thirteen years they wrote each other long letters about love and their future.
“Over the years of family life, we have not had a single serious disagreement. Probably because we look at things the same way as before marriage. Family life is a devilishly difficult task that you start over every day. And so all my life. You live in constant tension, and sometimes it’s so tiring... but, nevertheless, it’s worth it!” – Gabriel Garcia Marquez said about marriage. For all his successes he thanked only her; While he locked himself in his office and wrote, she earned a living, got around as best she could, but always continued to believe in him. Towards the end of his life, Marquez was very ill and did not recognize anyone except his wife.
It is impossible to take away just one lesson from these stories. We need to respect each other, believe, even if we don’t have the strength to do it, compromise and never stop loving. And we, in turn, wish everyone to find their devoted half.
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gala ideal love ideal relationship ideal partner how to meet your soulmate love for life Marc Chagall Marquez true love Salvador Dali Churchill Shchedrin
What gives cracks
Constant hysterics, scandals and prohibitions, refusal of intimacy lead to the fact that partners are disappointed in their loved ones. Over time, irritation builds up and love may actually disappear.
In order not to aggravate such a period of life, it is not recommended to concentrate on the crisis, but to allow the relationship to mature. The psychology of lifelong love and healthy relationships is about giving unselfishly. And then the gift is returned a hundredfold.
Taking problems lightly is an integral part of a healthy relationship. If you perceive them as tasks, not problems, and overcome obstacles with humor, this approach will eliminate possible “cracks.”
Controlling your emotions allows you to avoid loss of balance and destruction and thereby maintain respect and love for life.
Is it possible to love one person all your life when there are many temptations around?
A lot of literary works, especially fairy tales, are devoted to eternal love, which can be carried through many years of life and until its very end. And it is precisely as fairy tales that many inhabitants of the planet are beginning to relate to such ideas, becoming increasingly convinced, thanks to various incidents from their own and others’ lives, that to the question of whether it is possible to love one person all your life, there is definitely a negative answer.
Indeed, when thinking about whether a person can love for the rest of his life, it is difficult to come to a positive answer, because the seemingly terrifying statistics of divorces, the many constantly occurring infidelities and other similar circumstances should convince us of the opposite. However, you should not perceive what is happening around you only in a negative light and notice only the negative sides of life - and then, after some observations, you will be able to find many happy couples who, with age, seem to begin to love each other even more deeply than in their youth.
In reality, the question of “eternal” love is not so clear-cut, since it is necessary to take into account a lot of factors, and first of all, what exactly is considered this feeling. There is a very common stereotype that love only lasts for a maximum of two or three years, and then all that remains is the habit of coexisting next to someone, but is love mentioned in this thesis, if you look at it? By setting such a short period for love feelings, people actually mean passion, which is akin to obsession with each other and is heavily involved in the physical component, including external attractiveness and the desire to more often merge with a loved one in intimate ecstasy.
However, according to psychologists, such a state has little in common with love; at most, it is only one of its stages, moreover, the early and perhaps the shortest. In addition, you must immediately try to formulate for yourself what exactly love is, but when it comes to the true hypostasis, it has many components, and passion is only one of them.
In addition, it is important to understand: finding true love is not some given thing or a gift from above, but a long-term process that involves the work of both lovers to develop their relationship, the result of which is strong feelings. Moreover, a certain euphoria and love frenzy will accompany people who like each other only in the early stages of their romance, when, by and large, there is not yet love between them, but its beginnings in the form of love and/or friendship. They will understand that they are physically attracted to each other, and at the same time, being close and spending time together gives them considerable psychological comfort, much greater than, for example, with other people.
Then, when the two already converge and begin life together, they are overtaken by trials in the form of grinding in their characters, during which, in addition to the previously noted advantages, the partner’s shortcomings also become noticeable. If they seem not critical to each of the lovers, and they are ready to put up with this, their feelings can move to another stage, when not passion and the physical component, but tenderness, fidelity and other eternal concepts become increasingly important.
To find true love that really lasts a lifetime, and it is possible, people will need to realize that there are no ideal “other halves” with whom there will be no problems. Even if you fall in love with those with whom you are most psychologically comfortable, you will still have to work hard in reconciling with shortcomings and adjusting to each other in a certain way - but all this will undoubtedly pay off in finding true happiness.
Thus, long-term and even “eternal” love relationships are by no means a myth, but their achievement is associated with certain efforts on the part of each of their participants, the ability to seek compromises, make certain concessions and take care of the object of their love.
Advice for women
Finally, some practical advice from psychologists:
- In order for a man to feel important and needed, it is necessary to allow him to feel responsible for his beloved. Ask him for all kinds of help: moral, material, friendly.
- At first, with the appropriate behavior of a woman, fear of losing her, and then respect, fulfill their important function: a man strives for his partner, and he does not have time to look around, searching for “new prey.” In marriage, it is important to learn to maintain this delicate balance between partners.
- Men's actions mean more than words. Therefore, women should build a relationship strategy based on facts, not what is said.
- A man needs warmth and affection no less than a woman. You just need to observe moderation in giving pleasant emotions.
- To understand the truth of a man’s feelings, you should pay attention to his manner of sorting things out. If he is afraid to break them, this means that he values his woman. Meeting his friends and parents, on the initiative of a man, will confirm this.
- You should not compete with a man, since due to his natural instincts, he has a desire for leadership. And the intention to surpass it will give rise to a spirit of competition.
What does compatibility depend on?
The duration of a successful relationship depends on compatibility, which concerns both the individual inclinations of each person and the ability to find harmony in difficulties.
Maintaining interest and admiration for a person at the proper level depends on the extent to which the partner’s needs are understood and alternative ways of interacting with him are found, which is protection against betrayal.
Zodiac compatibility plays an important role in whether partners stay together. But it would be a mistake to look for justifications for one’s behavior in astrological characteristics, because a person comes into the world to improve himself.
