How to ask a guy out first: fail-safe phrases and methods

Girls are taught from childhood that boys are braver, stronger and more decisive, therefore, growing up, girls get used to a wait-and-see attitude. But time is valuable and sometimes waiting for weather by the sea becomes unbearable. Now a man appeared who occupied all my thoughts and dreams... Only one nuance confuses me - he does not show initiative. What to do - invite a guy on a date or continue to sigh languidly when meeting? And if you decide to take the first step, how to do it unobtrusively?

Send him an incomplete, intriguing message

The first way to ask a guy out is, of course, to write him a message. If you are a very shy girl, you can use partial text messages to give your guy clues that you like him. Let him guess what you want to say. Write that you are bored and don’t know what to do on the weekend. Such hints usually speak for themselves, and the guy will easily understand your hints.

Make sure the guy is free from the relationship

This first step is important if you want to build a strong relationship rather than one big problem. Otherwise, tears on your friend’s shoulder cannot be avoided, and long discussions about how this happened, too. Most men will not consider it necessary to tell you that they are in a relationship. He can calmly flirt with you, but at the same time be in a strong relationship, or even be married. But you don’t need all this, do you? You can study the situation on social networks, ask friends and acquaintances. Before you decide whether you can ask a guy out on a date, make sure he is available and move on to the second stage.

What to do in case of refusal

For a woman’s pride, refusal is the worst thing that can happen, especially if the attempt to invite the man you like on a date was the result of much thought and mental tossing. However, it is worth understanding that this event is far from a tragedy, and you need to be grateful to the man for his honesty (if, for example, it turned out that he has a girlfriend, and this motivates his refusal). You need to try to control your emotions so as not to show your disappointment and dissatisfaction.

A good way out of this situation is to say a phrase with a sweet smile like: “You know, I offered only in a friendly way - I don’t invite men on dates first. But it’s okay, I respect your position, you’re great.”

The previously unusual task for a woman, how to invite a man on a date, is increasingly something our girls have to solve in this crazy world. Some guys, completely immersed in school and work, literally need to be dragged out into the street to solve personal problems in their lives.

Basic recommendations

When inviting a man on a date, you need to adhere to certain rules:

• first a little casual conversation;
• smile and open look;
• you must look stunning;
• ask before inviting whether the young man is free that day;
• praise the guy before inviting him out (cool, smart, funny, charismatic, interesting);
• let him understand that if the date doesn’t take place/goes wrong, you are a completely adequate person and the end of the world will not happen.

You need to remember an important thing - you do not force yourself to be a friend of a man. If friendly pats on the back become a habit, you risk remaining in a friendly relationship forever.

Send a sweet letter by mail

Perhaps writing a letter by hand is a little outdated, especially if you haven't started dating a guy yet. But such a letter still has a little attractiveness and romance. Plus, this is a good way to ask a guy out on a date. So take a small piece of cardboard and write “I like you” with a colored pen. You can draw some hearts, a small rose, balloons or small kisses in the corners. Place the letter in an envelope and mail it to your boyfriend. Just don't write your name on the card. Just tell the man that you sent him something. This will make him a little excited and interested.

Where to go with your husband on the weekend

1.

Remember the best moments

Going to a familiar restaurant where you often meet with friends is not an interesting option. Therefore, it is best to go with your husband on the weekend to the place where you may have first met each other or kissed.

Maybe in such a symbolic place you can open up and tell him how you felt at that very dramatic moment. Or admit what opinion you had when you first met. Perhaps at that second you realized that he was your long-awaited prince, or, on the contrary, your future husband seemed not at all attractive to you at that moment.

Be that as it may, your spouse will be curious to know and understand how he turned from just an acquaintance into the love of your life. Most likely, your chosen one will also want to share his impressions of the fateful meeting and will tell you something new. It's a good idea to bring along your favorite treats to indulge in nostalgia, such as your favorite ice cream or a drink that you two simply adore. You can rest assured that this evening will be one of the best of your life!

2.

Go to a hookah bar on the weekend

Romantic atmosphere, dim lighting, soft sofas, the intoxicating aroma of hookah - a great solution for where to go with your husband on the weekend, which even a non-smoker will not refuse. The atmosphere will be complemented by oriental music and traditional tea - an original replacement for boring trips to a cafe. And if you really want to charm your loved one, dedicate a belly dance to him. Your husband will be delighted with this weekend!

3.

Romance on the roof of a high-rise building

How do you still hint at a date?

First, find out what new and interesting things have recently appeared in your city. For example, bars open in the capitals almost every day, so the phrase: “I heard that a new bar has opened with good cocktails, maybe we should try it?” - will be very appropriate. This sounds more friendly and does not entail any hints of something more. If a guy didn’t take the first step only because he was afraid to take the initiative, then he will quickly take the situation into his own hands; he just needs a little push. And after the meeting, he, of course, will express gratitude to you for a good idea and offer to repeat the meeting. If a guy experiences exclusively friendly emotions towards you, then he will also most likely agree with your proposal, but he will not offer to meet a second time, and he will behave exclusively as a friend. This can be determined after the first cocktail. If the guy refuses, you shouldn’t be upset either, be glad that you didn’t waste your time and didn’t have time to fall in love and then suffer.

Is it possible to invite a guy on a date?

Taking the first step for a girl is not a crime; it is very appropriate if the guy has expressed sympathy for you for a long time and you have known each other for several days. It would also be a good idea to take the initiative if a man is excessively modest, reserved and unsociable. And, of course, if the young lady is head over heels in love and she absolutely doesn’t care how it will look from the outside. Initiative on the part of a girl is not so strange, especially in the modern world. You only need to be wary of indifferent guys when it is clear that he is not interested in you. There is a high risk of being rejected. You shouldn't take the initiative when it could damage the girl's reputation. In any case, they don’t charge money for asking and it’s worth a try, especially if you really want to.

Make the guy ask you out on a date himself

Play the game "Do you have a girlfriend?" Start a flirty conversation with him that will ultimately show that you want to go on a date with him. Below are some questions you need to ask him if you are talking to him on the phone or through text messages. Give your guy clues that you're into him, and by the end of the conversation, he'll probably ask you out.

• Do you have a girlfriend?
• Why do not you have a girlfriend?
• How do you see your girlfriend?
• Who would you like to go on a date with?
• How often do you go on dates?
• What do you do at the weekend?

GuruTest

The question of whether a woman should take the initiative and invite the man she likes somewhere is quite controversial and individual. For some, this is a completely natural gesture of sympathy, while for others it is an unacceptable action. Moreover, few women enjoy being rejected. It is for this reason that representatives of the fair sex usually try to hint to a man about a meeting, rather than directly voicing their desire.

Which women do men most often ask out on a date?

It's no secret that the most beautiful thing in a woman is her smile. Men sincerely like to communicate with cheerful, laughing women, on whose faces happiness and satisfaction with their own lives can be easily read. It is precisely such a representative of the fair sex that seems charming and charming to the gentleman. An important role is also played by the ability to easily and naturally start a dialogue, openness in communication, and interest in a man’s opinion and experience.

Another important condition for popularity among men is a woman’s appearance: a lady must be well-groomed, take care of her image and maintain her attractiveness. The stronger sex loves with their eyes, therefore, in order for a handsome gentleman to pay attention, it is important to pay attention to your image, think through your hairstyle, makeup and outfit.

What can scare a man away?

As a rule, one of the main frightening features of female behavior is obsession. Many women find it difficult to understand exactly how a man treats them - with warmth and interest or formal politeness? Often the fair sex imagines affection, so they can be especially intrusive, which somewhat irritates men and makes them feel extremely awkward.

Another feature of female behavior that can make a man avoid you is a lack of sincerity, as well as an inability to remain oneself. Every person can hide his true nature for a long time, and sooner or later the chosen one will understand that football or computer games actually interest you little.

Impatience also does not make women attractive. This shows representatives of the opposite sex that the girl is not in demand, that she has long and strongly wanted a new relationship, so she needs it right now.

Sure-fire ways to get a man to ask you out on a date

Get his attention. Girls who know how to attract the right attention to themselves most often receive an invitation to a cup of coffee or to the cinema. Correct attention is an interest in a woman as a person. There are a large number of ways to attract a man's attention to yourself.

For example, you can develop a sense of humor: this will help you joke more often in a common company, which will make others laugh and pay attention to you. Another way would be to look for common ground: analyze a man’s behavior and identify what unites you. Common interests can be a good reason to start closer communication.

Pleasant, casual conversation with him. Dialogue with the representative of the opposite sex you like also plays an important role. The best way is to catch a moment when some situation unites you: for example, you witnessed a conflict between colleagues, or in a common company only the two of you listen to a certain genre of music. Such circumstances can be used as a reason for conversation, and then move on to more personal topics that interest you.

You should not be afraid to initiate a conversation, because you are the one who wants to communicate with the person. A man may not be aware of your sympathy for him, so you can try to hint to him about your interest in a casual conversation. But don’t expect to be asked out right away: sometimes it takes men a little longer to become interested.

A hint that you want to meet. In a conversation, you can subtly hint that you are ready to spend time with a man. For example, you can complain that you risk spending the weekend at home alone because all your friends have left and you don’t know what to do. You can mention that some interesting event will take place soon, which you can’t wait to go to, but there is no suitable company in sight.

A person who is interested in communication can easily understand that this is a good chance to spend time with you. In any case, if a man communicates willingly and openly, you can take the initiative and invite him on a first date: it is likely that he will be pleased and will happily agree. What do you think? Leave your comments and don't forget to click on the buttons and

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23 April 03:17

There aren't that many good-looking guys2

Considering the fact that the sheer number of the female population greatly exceeds the number of male representatives, it becomes clear why in our time women prefer not to wait for an invitation from a man, but to take the initiative into their own hands.

If we additionally take into account the fact that there are even fewer beautiful men, and the combination of beauty and intelligence is almost impossible to meet, then it becomes extremely clear that there is no point in delaying time. So, dear ladies, invite the man you like for a walk and don’t feel the slightest remorse.

Where to invite a man on a date?

There are universal places for walking, regardless of the weather: cinema, concert hall, exhibition halls, indoor water parks, sports palaces. If a woman invites a man on a date, then he needs to take into account his preferences so that time spent at an unloved event does not develop into torment. Choose options where the guy can show his skills. For example, at a picnic, he will definitely try to teach a city girl how to make a fire and grill shish kebab, and you will give him a chance to look more courageous.

Please note that an invitation to an expensive restaurant with already paid tables can be assessed in two ways. By financing a luxurious dinner yourself, you put your chosen one in an awkward position. It is better to conduct first meetings with unfamiliar people in crowded places, leaving picnics and forest walks for the future. An old-fashioned way to get a guy a date is to invite your loved one to a friendly party with other couples you know. Over a romantic dinner and fun, there will always be time to exchange a few words and arrange a new meeting.

The era of gentle and proud princesses has sunk into oblivion; our lives are ruled by purposeful and courageous individuals who know how to grab the finicky bird of happiness by the tail without unnecessary embarrassment when the opportunity arises. The problem of how to invite a man on a date can be solved in several ways if desired. In this matter, it is advisable to learn to show tact, feminine cunning and find out a little information about your chosen one in order to correctly plan your actions. In contact with

Choosing the right time and place for an invitation

You need to be able to talk in private

You need to meet with a young man in an informal setting. In fact, it could even be a hallway or sports field. It is important that no one interferes during the conversation. The time should be when the guy is not stressed and quite relaxed. Let's look at what you should pay attention to when planning to ask a man out on a date.

1. Privacy will allow you to talk calmly. It is worth understanding that the presence of strangers can cause awkwardness, and the man will decide to refuse.
2. If you work or study together, then you don’t have to wait until the guy can go out somewhere to catch up with him and tell him about your intentions. It’s better to just approach him and whisper to him to come out and talk for a couple of minutes.
3. There is no need to lie in wait for a young man, catch him before entering a classroom or office, call and remain silent on the phone, ask his friends about what he is doing. Such behavior will be too intrusive and unhealthy, and will probably scare away the young man.
4. Make sure that your passion for a man does not develop into a love addiction. There is no need to track every step, every breath of a man, both in real and virtual life.

Find opportunities to be closer to him

If you study together, then try to sit at the same desk with him. If you travel on public transport, then sit next to them. This way, you'll be more likely to give him subtle signs that you like him. Find different reasons to get closer to him. This could be working together or doing some activities. You can share lunch with him, or ask him for his phone, tablet or headphones. Start giving him hints as often as possible that you are in love with him, being always nearby and very close. And, if he also likes you, he will immediately reciprocate and understand what needs to be done.

How to behave if a man refuses your proposed date?

First of all , don't attach much importance to his refusal. Yes, most likely you are slightly offended and unpleasant, because you thought that he liked him - but it turned out that he did not. But don't dwell on this failure. The main thing is to move forward.

Secondly , mentally thank this man for his refusal. In fact, this refusal has rid you of illusions. After all, if it weren’t for this situation, you would continue to waste your time on someone who doesn’t really like you or is simply not attractive enough to ask you out on a date. But now you clearly understand how he treats you, and you can move on with peace of mind.

See also: How to distinguish politeness from sympathy in a man’s behavior

Thirdly , by his refusal, he made room in your life for the man who will truly love you. Often, without noticing it, women are so immersed in a feeling of sympathy for a man that they do not notice real opportunities to start a real romance (and not a “fictional” relationship).

Fourthly , refusal is sometimes not a final decision. A man could answer this way because of fatigue, a banal reluctance or inability to communicate (not related specifically to you), because of work difficulties or family problems. Perhaps he has some negative events going on in his life and is not in the mood for a romantic wave right now.

See also: How to take initiative in a relationship with a man

Or maybe he simply won’t go out for coffee on principle after a woman has invited him (this is especially true for shy men who don’t go on dates often). There could be many reasons for refusal, including his relationship or love for another woman that you did not know about. And you will simply never know about some reasons - but this, in general, does not matter.

If a man refused a date because he was afraid to look awkward, then it is likely that after a while he will offer to meet you. If, of course, he really has sympathy for you. But you shouldn’t wait for his offer - it’s better to be a pleasant surprise than a long and tedious wait.

See also: How a man who doesn’t love a woman behaves

So, the main thing to do after a refusal is to expand your social circle and continue to meet new people. After all, refusal does not make you worse or better - it is just a kind of beacon that says that you are unlikely to have anything positive on this road of life. Meet new men, give yourself a chance for a real relationship, not an empty expectation.

Fifth , after the man refuses the meeting, continue to communicate with him as usual. This is especially important if you study or work together. Communicate with him in a friendly and polite manner, but do not be one step ahead of him in this. Don’t look for unnecessary meetings, don’t try to please him or prove what treasure he lost. Maybe this is just not your man, and he will never be able to appreciate you, no matter how hard you try.

See also: A man doesn’t love you - 6 signs

Maybe this refusal will be good for you - after all, no one knows how your relationship would have turned out. Therefore, the best option is to accept what is and continue to live your life without getting hung up on this man. And even more so, do not try to somehow verbally offend him - after all, he has every right to communicate and meet only with those with whom he wants, and not with you.

And if you have not become such a person for him, what is the point of experiencing negative emotions about this? Maybe in reality he is not your destiny at all and not “your” person?

Method one – a date as a thank you

One of the most popular and effective methods. Good for situations where you regularly have friendly interactions with a man, but don't know how to get him to look at you as an attractive woman. The bottom line is this:

1. Tell your man about a problem that he can solve. For example, that you are having difficulties with a work report (if your subject is a colleague), or the lock on the front door is stuck;
2. If you are thinking about how to make a date with a man, it means that the object of your desire is not very proactive and insightful, so he may well not offer his help in solving the problem. Your task is to hint as clearly as possible or simply ask him for assistance (after all, without his help you will be lost);
3. Even if your lover did not cope with the task very well, find something to praise him for. And in gratitude - give him a bottle of expensive wine (and offer to drink it together) or invite him to dinner (after all, he helped you so much - you simply have to feed him);
4. The date is organized, then everything depends on you.

Tell him everything directly and sincerely

Be brave and use a direct approach to ask a guy out on a date. Boys like it when girls take the initiative and speak directly about their feelings. So flirt with him on the phone or in person. Look for opportunities to tell him you like him. Gather your strength and just say these three words: “I like you.” But, if you decide to go down this path, you must be mentally strong and ready to refuse. So as not to break if he does not reciprocate.

How to increase your chances of success

The main thing is to take care of your appearance

To give you a better chance of getting the young man to agree to spend time together, you need to act as follows.

1. Take care of your impeccable appearance. To do this, you need to be well-groomed, with good hair, discreet makeup, well-groomed nails, and beautiful clothes. If you look impressive, it will give you strength and confidence.
2. Get ready for the upcoming conversation. It is important, when talking to a guy, to look him straight in the eye and smile sweetly. Making eye contact will help you win over your interlocutor. Speak clearly, no need to mumble. It is better to start the conversation with something else, with some neutral topic, and only then move on to the true purpose of the conversation.
3. If earlier, you did not in any way let the guy know about your feelings, then it is better, before asking him out on a date, to start flirting with him, looking in his direction and smiling. But you shouldn't be too intrusive.
4. You need to understand that there is no universal phrase that will allow you to invite a man on a date. There is no need to memorize the upcoming speech; you may simply forget something or make a mistake out of excitement, and then you will completely fall into a stupor. Sincerity and naturalness are much more valued. In fact, you can ask a guy out simply by asking if he wants to go to a cafe today.

Write him a short poem

The cutest way to ask a guy out is to write a poem for him. Write an opening line to the poem, explain that you are in love with him, and tell him how you feel. Just don't sound too desperate. Don't write more than five or six lines. At the same time, you should communicate that you are in love with him and that you would like to go on a date with him. Sign the poem with an email address or phone number, and ask him to reach out if he feels the same way.

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Taboo topics and general advice

Here are the words that can ruin an opinion about a person:

• You shouldn’t bring up the past, even if you know that he once broke up with this or that girl, don’t ask him about it. Talking about the past can only stir up a series of unpleasant memories in him.
• You shouldn’t talk about all your relatives and their problems.
• It is better to remain silent about your former relationship. But if suddenly such a conversation took place, there is no need to throw mud at your ex, talk about how bad he is.
• If the guy doesn’t know him well, then when saying goodbye, the girl should not behave intrusively, expecting a new meeting. She should show interest and smile.
• Even if everything in life is not so smooth, you should not complain. Whiners never attract guys, they just annoy them.
• Don't let him know about your illnesses. This is, to say the least, stupid and will definitely scare the guy away.

A very interesting collection of tips from an obviously experienced girl who knows what she’s talking about:

It is important to remember that the conversation, especially on the first date, should be logically structured. You can’t have a conversation with a man like you would with a close friend and say whatever comes to mind.

And finally: don’t forget to improvise, because you can’t be prepared for absolutely every situation!

Women’s own reaction to their initiative4

But in practice, things don’t always turn out as colorful as in real life. There are often cases when, after taking the initiative, women are not particularly satisfied with their actions. But the thing is that having got her hands on the man she likes, she often, throughout her entire subsequent life, cannot relieve herself of the full burden of the burden of family life.

Many of them note that repairs, which sooner or later will have to be done in the family nest, and the purchase of new furniture (a car, a summer cottage, and even a children’s bicycle) have to be dealt with exclusively by the spouse.

The husband, accustomed to the fact that his wife is quite capable of coping with all the difficulties, simply turns a blind eye to everything that happens in the house. Sooner or later, a woman with one hundred percent certainty will get tired of this way of posing the question. This is not at all surprising, since any woman, no matter how strong she is, deep down would like to feel behind her husband as if behind a stone wall and transfer to him all responsibility for resolving serious issues concerning the family, children and their common future.