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When introducing a guy or girl to their parents is a sensitive issue; it is impossible to give exact dates or specific reasons. If you can't wait to meet your significant other's parents, but he or she doesn't take the initiative, offer to meet your parents, that is, take the first step.
Read our article on how to make the acquaintance go smoothly and leave only positive impressions.
Meeting the parents of the bride and groom
After the young man has proposed to his beloved and received the coveted “Yes” in response, he must inform his parents about the upcoming wedding and introduce them to each other . If relatives already know each other, the task of the bride and groom is made easier by the fact that there is no need to introduce them; you can simply get together and discuss pressing issues and details of the upcoming event.
But in the case where the parents on both sides of the bride and groom do not yet know each other, it will be necessary to introduce them. Of course, you should first introduce your chosen one or chosen one to your mom and dad. After this, you can already schedule a meeting between the parent couples. How do the groom's parents meet the bride's parents before the wedding according to tradition? According to traditions, the initiative must come from the groom's relatives . The groom's parents go to meet the bride's parents, and the girl's relatives must give them a symbolic gift. After this, the bride's parents can pay a return visit. However, traditions are becoming obsolete; young people can organize a meeting themselves.
Meeting the parents of the bride and groom at home
Matchmaking traditions
Previously, a young man, having received his father's blessing, sent matchmakers to the house of the intended bride. The matchmakers came with a loaf and salt; if the answer was positive, the girl’s parents had to accept the loaf; in case of refusal, the bread was returned. Sometimes they gave a watermelon or pumpkin as a sign of refusal.
Loaf of salt for meeting parents
People from noble and wealthy families with a good dowry had to take their time with an answer , so matchmakers came to them several times. After the final agreement, preparations for the wedding began, the girl’s dowry was collected, a feast was prepared, guests were invited, and so on.
A burning question for many couples is how to introduce the parents of the bride and groom? There is no need to be afraid to introduce your family, postponing everything until the wedding day. In the end, these are the father and mother of a loved one, a significant other, and there is nothing wrong with introducing them to your mom and dad.
The main thing is to think through all the details and nuances , taking into account the character and preferences of both parties. It’s not scary if the elders do not communicate closely and become friends after the wedding of the newlyweds. After all, they are adults and have the right to decide for themselves whether to maintain contact with their newly acquired relatives. But introducing them to each other is nevertheless important, since these are the most important people in life for each of the newlyweds.
Meeting point
When and how does the groom's parents meet the bride's parents for the first time? To begin with, young people should choose a meeting place. It could be a cozy restaurant or a family cafe . If the future spouses already live together in their apartment, then it is appropriate to invite their parents to your home for lunch or dinner. This will allow the groom’s family to demonstrate the bride’s skills as a housewife. A family dinner will create an informal atmosphere for getting to know each other.
When choosing a place, you should take into account the age and social status of the parent couple. Ordinary people should not be invited to fashionable, expensive restaurants, where they will most likely feel uncomfortable
Gardeners and vegetable gardeners can be invited to a picnic or a summer cottage. For homebodies, a modest evening at the home of the newlyweds is suitable, if possible.
The meeting can be organized specifically for acquaintance or timed to coincide with a family holiday. In the latter case, there is a greater chance that the acquaintance will take place informally, in a more relaxed atmosphere.
The menu plays an important role. If the meeting is scheduled in a restaurant or at home, then the menu must be thought out in advance . Asian cuisine, with its overly spicy, over-saturated dishes, is not the best choice for a first meeting. It’s safer to stick with traditional European or Russian cuisine. You should also first find out whether any of the invitees have food allergies, whether they fast or are vegetarians.
Alcohol on the table is permissible only if there are no ardent opponents of alcohol .
Menu when meeting the parents of the bride and groom
How to behave if things don't go according to plan
Sometimes even good intentions have unpredictable consequences. It should be understood that we cannot control everything. When expectations are not met, you need to reflect on your mistakes. Self-flagellation will not help here; you definitely shouldn’t blame yourself for the fact that things didn’t go well. There is no need to consider yourself an abnormal person, even if you have chosen a foreigner as your life partner. It is useful to pull yourself together and stop getting upset:
- It's important not to be nervous. The outcome of the event depends on the mood. Sometimes a guy wants to meet a girl's parents, but they don't want it. This means that the event must be postponed until another time. A suitable opportunity will definitely present itself. We often ruin the situation with negative emotions. You need to try not to shout, not to try to remind people of your rights, but to delicately wait out the difficult moment. If young people begin to insist, they risk facing open conflict.
- Sometimes in the process of having lunch or dinner together, a pronounced misunderstanding arises. For example, people did not see eye to eye on one issue. As a result, parents are left with a negative impression and do not want to meet again. It is important to avoid obvious conflicts of interest. Topics such as religion, politics, and national beliefs should be especially avoided.
- There is no need to be embarrassed to apologize if an unpleasant event occurs. If parents convince you that the guy is a drunk and they don’t like him, you need to show delicacy. When you can’t get acquainted without a negative result, you need to correct the annoying mistake as soon as possible. It is best to quickly and briefly ask for forgiveness and leave your parents' house. There is nothing worse than long, meaningless excuses.
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What to talk about at the first meeting
How to behave when meeting someone and what to talk about at a meeting?
To make parents more comfortable, it is better to come up with a list of topics for conversation in advance. If there is an awkward pause, you can suggest a general topic , for example, about dating young people or childhood. It should be remembered that not all topics are good for conversation. Politics, like other topics that can cause heated debate, are best avoided.
On the eve of the meeting, it is better to discuss with mom and dad all the awkward moments that may arise: questions that are better not to ask or stories that are better not to tell. In general, prepare mentally for meeting future relatives.
It is better to meet matchmakers without touching on the topic of the upcoming wedding. All planning issues can be postponed for a later meeting or left to decide what kind of wedding the wedding will be like.
The main rule when dating is to relax . Even if the relationship between the couple’s relatives does not work out, this does not in any way prevent the newlyweds from being happy in their marriage. Meeting matchmakers does not oblige you to friendship or any close communication in the future, after the wedding. Polite communication on common holidays will be quite enough.
How to properly introduce your chosen one to your parents
There's definitely no need to rush. You need to wait for the right moment and only then act. In this case, you won’t have to regret wasting your time. Father and mother also need to be prepared. You cannot act at random, hoping for luck, because it may turn out that the first meeting will spoil the impression of the person. It is useful to follow some rules.
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When is the best time to do it?
It is wise to wait until the relationship is close enough. You need to learn to understand your chosen one. This will make it possible to feel the correctness of the step being taken. There is no point in forcing things. If a girl is not confident in a guy, then she is unlikely to make her parents happy either. Acquaintance should take place at the moment when the feeling of intense love overwhelms you.
How can you help a guy prepare?
Your significant other is understandably nervous. This feeling is natural for a young man who is about to meet the parents of his chosen one. The guy wants to look worthy, smart, decent and self-sufficient. If a girl is going to make his task easier, she should definitely tell him about the habits of her mother and father. This will make it easier to concentrate and tune in to the upcoming conversation. Knowing the interests and hobbies of a particular person, you can easily start a conversation with him.
You need to try to reduce anxiety to a level where a person feels able to cope with it.
How to prepare parents
The older generation also needs to get up to speed. It’s better to try to discuss aspects of your personal life with mom and dad in advance. Sharing individual intentions is not just about delivering good news, it is about demonstrating the seriousness of your intentions. A strict dad should not be a reason for refusing to meet someone.
Introducing a guy to his mother can be much easier than to introducing him to his father. The fact is that the mother is less jealous of her daughter’s personal choice. It's easier to please a woman. It’s even better if the daughter starts talking about her boyfriend in advance. This is how she gradually accustoms those close to her to the idea of getting married soon.
Gifts for parents to get to know each other
What do matchmakers traditionally give? Women are usually given bouquets of flowers , one for the bride and one for the future mother-in-law. It is better not to give too expensive or pompous gifts on the eve of the wedding: this may be perceived as bribery or boasting.
It would be good form to present symbolic gifts from the newlyweds to their parents. This could be a box of chocolates or cookies, or something related to a hobby, such as a set of baits for a fisherman or seeds for a gardener. of cognac with a box of Cuban cigars as a gift .
Cuban cigars as a gift when meeting the parents of the bride and groom
In addition to flowers, you can give mothers something for needlework or decorative cosmetics, for example, hand cream or liquid soap.
Meeting the bride's parents
Meeting the bride's parents is a very important step in the life of any couple in love. This is exciting not only for the girl and her parents, but also for the groom. After all, the father and mother of the bride must like him. In order for everything to go perfectly, you need to prepare a little.
According to ancient tradition, the groom must propose marriage on the day of matchmaking. On this day, the groom's parents went to meet the bride's mother and father. Now there is no such tradition. A young man proposes to a girl, then asks permission from her parents, and only then a matchmaking day is set.
Video “How to please your parents”
Talk in private
Try talking about your boyfriend for the first time alone with your parents. This will help them feel less awkward and create trust. Choose a neutral place - a park, a cafe, so that no one feels trapped. Although, if you think that parents will feel most comfortable at home, talk there.
Bringing a guy to meet your family without warning is a bad idea. Give them time to get used to the idea that you have someone and prepare for this meeting.
Tips for meeting the bride's parents for the first time
The first thing you need to do is decide on the location of the meeting. The groom can call his parents himself and arrange a meeting. To do this, you need to take into account the wishes of both parents and couples. If possible, you can go to the theater and then have dinner at a restaurant. If your parents invite you to visit them, you shouldn’t refuse them.
The bride should also participate in the preparations. She is given a special order - to set the groom in the right mood. To do this, you just need to talk to him, tell him about your parents’ interests, what they like and what they are passionate about. Help you choose appropriate clothes. Also, she should have a conversation with her parents so that they, in turn, are not too worried. Talk about the merits of your chosen one.
First impression
Although they say that the first impression is deceptive, but still... It remains the first. The main thing now is that parents will like it. The proverb “You are greeted by your clothes...” is very true here. If you are planning to meet in a restaurant, then of course a suit will come in very handy. If the meeting is at the parents’ home, then you don’t have to wear formal clothes, but everything should be clean and tidy.
Give your future in-laws small gifts. Mother and bride receive a bouquet each, father receives a small souvenir. If there are small children in the house, then you need to buy something for them. Also, a bottle of wine and cake would be appropriate.
Video “How to please a girl’s parents”
What not to do when meeting someone and how to behave
Be well mannered. You should not address your parents as “you” or say “mother” and “father”. You must show your best side. Smile more, just let it be sincere.
If the table is set with different types of dishes, praise the hostess of the house. Say that everything is very tasty and beautiful. Ask what products she used to prepare this or that salad. Say a compliment: “That’s where your daughter learned to cook so deliciously!” Even if you don’t really want to eat, the groom must try. Don't drink a lot of alcohol, even if you insist.
Behave like a true gentleman. Look after your bride and her mother. Give compliments, ask - they don’t need anything.
Tell the truth, lying will not be appropriate here. Don't praise yourself. Be sincere and honest.
Show that you enjoy sitting at the same table and having a conversation.
Ask parents to show childhood photographs of their daughter. Let them tell funny stories from her childhood - such ease will help relieve tension at the table.
Don't quarrel with a girl in front of your parents. And under no circumstances bring up the topic of sex.
When trying to maintain a conversation, you need to know what you can and cannot say.
Topics to talk about with the bride's parents
- Work or study. Tell us about yourself – where you studied, where you work. Just don’t make a long dialogue out of this. In turn, ask where your parents work and what their hobbies are.
- Plans for future life. Tell them how much you love their daughter and that you want to spend your whole life with her.
- About my parents. The time will come when they will also have to get acquainted, so let the bride’s parents, at least a little, get to know them in absentia.
- Hobbies. Tell us about what you are interested in and what interests you. Maybe you will find common topics with the bride’s father and you will have common interests.
Forbidden topics of conversation
- Religion and politics. Each person believes in something different and it is not necessary that your political and religious views coincide. To avoid conflict on the first day of acquaintance, it is better to refrain from such things.
- Family problems. You shouldn’t immediately talk about problems with your parents and your girlfriend. As they say, “The less you know, the better you sleep.”
- Diseases. There is no need to upset a pleasant conversation with such a topic.
How can a girl meet a guy's parents?
Many girls cannot understand why a guy/man doesn’t introduce him to his parents, is he really ashamed of you? Not at all necessary, perhaps the man has not yet made a final decision about your relationship and does not want to rush.
Or vice versa - he believes that the approval of his parents is not required, because he is already an adult and can decide for himself who to date.
You shouldn’t put pressure on the guy, get angry or offended - gently hint that you wouldn’t mind meeting his family, and let him organize this meeting himself when he sees fit.
How to prepare and how to behave during dating so as not to lose face?
- Ask the guy in advance what his parents are interested in, who they work for and, of course, what their names are. Address your parents by their first and patronymic names, unless they themselves suggest less formal addresses. There is no need to call the guy's parents mom and dad; they will think that you want to marry their son as soon as possible.
- Ask the guy if there are any taboo topics for conversation, and do not bring them up during the conversation. Maybe your future father-in-law and mother-in-law’s dog recently died, in which case you shouldn’t talk about your pet with a smile and generally touch on the topic of animals.
- If you are already aware of the interests and views of the guy's parents, there is no need to pretend to be interested and pretend that you are interested in the same things. During the entire conversation, try not to lie or embellish reality. But it’s quite acceptable to neutralize an awkward pause by mentioning a new film where the guy’s mother’s favorite actor is starring.
- Pay attention to your appearance. People will see you for the first time, so you don't have to buy a new dress. There is also no need for overly revealing outfits. Yes, your date will appreciate a tight top and a short skirt, but it's best to save them for one-on-one dates.
- Try to answer questions about you willingly and thoroughly. Most likely, your lover has already told his parents about you, but they will definitely want to hear everything first-hand. If someone touches on a topic that is unpleasant for you, explain as politely as possible that you have reasons to avoid such conversations. It will be better than accumulating irritation all evening.
- When it comes to meeting a guy's parents for the first time, advice regarding gifts is very contradictory. Some believe that gifts are necessary, while others are sure that they are unnecessary. Here again, you need to discuss this point with your lover in advance - as is customary in their family, how appropriate this will be and what exactly to choose if you decide to buy a gift. If you think that gifts are inappropriate, you can buy something for the table, for example, fruit, or bake a cake - at the same time you will demonstrate your culinary skills.
- If you arrive early and the table is not yet set, or you need to replace cutlery during the feast, offer your help to the hostess. She may refuse, in which case don't insist.
- Don't criticize a guy in front of his parents, even if the truth is on your side. They already know about his shortcomings, but they are unlikely to be happy that their son chose a girl who constantly reproaches him as his mate.
- There is no need to show excessive tenderness to the guy, constantly hug him and call him affectionate words. If you want to show how you feel, give him a compliment or mention his recent accomplishments.
- Remember that you are a guest, respect the rules of this house. If it’s customary in a guy’s family to listen to music during a meal, don’t speak out about it, even if you don’t like the music. If you are on a diet, then by openly declaring this, you may offend the hostess - she cooked for you. Be sure to try the dishes offered and praise them, unless, of course, you are allergic to any foods. In this case, the responsibility will be on the guy; he must warn your parents about your health in advance.
- If there is a conflict between the owners, do not interfere - you are not yet a member of their family. Don’t take sides, even if your opinion is sought, remain neutral.
At the end of the evening, be sure to thank them for the treat and mention that you are glad to meet them for a long time. If you're not sure everything went smoothly, ask your man about it the next day. He himself must first discuss the meeting with his parents, draw certain conclusions, and only then inform you.
Meeting the groom's parents
The first meeting with the parents of your other half is considered a very important and responsible event in the life of every bride. Most girls panic when the groom offers to meet his family. So that internal fear and worries do not overshadow the upcoming event, you need to be natural, not worry and adhere to the rules of etiquette. The upcoming meeting will be held at the highest level if you carefully prepare for it.
Consider the specifics of your relationship with your parents
The first thing you need to consider when deciding to tell your parents about your new partner is the specifics of your relationship with them. Your safety, including psychological, should be the focus.
There's a difference between simply not accepting your partner and being in a situation where it could jeopardize your relationship. If you assume that your parents will not approve of your partner so much that they will actively interfere with you or put aggressive pressure on you, it is better not to talk about your relationship.
Meeting the groom's parents: how to prepare
When the relationship with his lover reaches a more serious level, the groom plans to introduce the bride to his family. Every girl perceives such an event very excitedly, worrying so that the parents of the chosen one will like her. Therefore, a potential bride needs to prepare in advance for dating. Preparation for the upcoming meeting consists of the following stages:
- Let's find out details about our beloved's mom and dad. When meeting the groom's family, you will feel more confident if you ask your beloved about the traditions and customs of his family. Ask about their interests, hobbies, and what character traits they have. This will help you prepare mentally for meeting people who are still strangers to you.
- We are reviewing our wardrobe. You need to dress modestly for your first meeting, avoiding bright outfits that can create a vulgar image. The groom's parents will appreciate your modesty in a formal dress or pantsuit.
- Thinking through makeup. It should be modest, made in pastel colors. Avoid excessive blush and false eyelashes. Parents want to see a decent girl next to their son.
- Let's tidy up our nails. Before meeting, update your manicure using light-colored polish. Nails should be neat and short in length.
How to prepare a meeting?
In order for the planned event to take place with maximum comfort for all “stakeholders”, you will have to work in two directions at once. Gently prepare your parents for the visit of your chosen one, praising his positive qualities and not mentioning his negative ones. And support the guy morally and help him present himself in the best light. Do not neglect this point, relying on chance - “they are all good, cultured people, they will somehow come to an agreement.” Believe me, your efforts will pay off handsomely.
Preparing the guy
- Your young man should have an idea of where he is going and with whom he will communicate, so a brief excursion into family history is necessary. But really short: what kind of people are your mom and dad, what do they do, what do they approve of, what do they hate. You can mention one or two family legends or traditions if the parents take them seriously. For example, tell that one of your ancestors was from France or that as a child you visited relatives in Altai every year. Firstly, it will no longer occur to the guy to joke about “paddling pools” (you never know how the conversation will turn). And secondly, the suitor will be able to win the favor of your loved ones by showing off his knowledge of the history of the mountain region and informing you that you are going there on a joint vacation.
- Together, think over the appearance of your loved one. A strict classic jacket with trousers or a three-piece suit will be appropriate only if your parents are people of the old school and rules, and you know for sure that they will approve of it. But for most people, such an outfit will seem too deliberately formal, so it is enough that the clothes are clean, neatly ironed and appropriate for the situation. Shorts are definitely not acceptable! If your sweetheart is interested in piercings, walks around in a bandana and is a staunch supporter of one of the informal styles, persuade him to give up his habits for one evening. It is better to cover up tattoos, remove flashy jewelry or replace it with something more modest. For your sake, the young man will definitely make such a sacrifice!
- Give me an idea for a small gift. It is not customary to come to visit your significant other’s parents for the first time completely empty-handed, but nothing extraordinary is required from the young man. Tell us what flowers mom likes, what wine dad will appreciate, what souvenir they both will like.
Some parents go beyond their limits in their curiosity.
It is impossible to predict in advance what topics will come up during a conversation. But there are questions that all parents ask their daughters' chosen ones. For example, a young man will probably be asked what he does, what field he plans to pursue a career in, or even how he plans to provide for his future family. If the answer is an indistinct moo, the guy will fall greatly in the eyes of your family. There is no need to give out a clear schedule for the next 20 years, but let your strict dad make sure that your young man has definite plans and is serious about achieving something in life.
Preparing Mom and Dad
Start “absentee” acquaintance of your loved ones with your beloved long before the date of the meeting is set. Tell your parents more good things about your man. Naturally, adjusted for their worldview! The brave turns that your loved one makes on a motorcycle will definitely not impress your relatives, but news of success in your studies or bonuses from your superiors for an innovative proposal will cause a positive reaction. But don't get carried away with your fantasies! Set up your own young man, because sooner or later he will have to get out of all this.
But even in irritation or during quarrels, do not say anything bad about him. You can still make peace, but a loving parent’s heart will remember and will not forgive the insult inflicted on the little one.
If you're planning a family dinner, make sure the menu suits everyone's tastes and doesn't include complex dishes. Remember the film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears” and Katerina’s panic when her boyfriend’s mother tried to treat her to fish? What if your boyfriend is also confused by some tasty but difficult to handle delicacy? Don’t add reasons for him to worry - there will already be enough of them.
How to behave when meeting someone to please them: tips
If the time has come to meet the parents of your chosen one, you need to make every effort to please them. Remember that you will not have a second chance to make a first impression. A young girl needs to prepare for this event. To ensure your first meeting with your parents goes perfectly, check out the tips below:
- The first meeting is always an exciting event. To avoid tension during dating, be calm and remain yourself. If you are relaxed and not shy, the groom's parents will also feel comfortable around you.
- Anticipate in advance the possible questions that the groom's relatives may ask you when they meet. The parents of the chosen one will ask about family, education, work, feelings for their son, as well as plans for the future. Answer all questions asked as sincerely as possible to build trust. You don't need to tell all your family's secrets in detail; speak concisely and discreetly. If some parts of the conversation make you feel awkward, then change the subject correctly.
- When you meet, be cheerful and sociable. This doesn't mean you have to laugh all the time and talk endlessly. But there is also no need to remain silent and nervously finger the hem of your dress. Look happy, then your parents will be happy with such a daughter-in-law.
- Avoid sad stories about your former acquaintances. The groom's mom and dad don't need to know details about your previous partners.
- If there is a long pause during communication, then start asking your parents about their hobbies or interests. You may find common interests that make a good topic of conversation.
- You should not show your violent emotions in front of your parents when communicating with their son. Behave with restraint and culture.
- Do not display bad habits in front of your chosen one’s parents. If you smoke, please refrain from smoking during the meeting. Some parents have strict views on the habits of the younger generation. In order not to spoil the first meeting with the groom's parents, learn from the video below the advice of psychologists:
Be natural
To make a good impression on your loved one’s parents when meeting you, act naturally, as you would in everyday life. Your interlocutors will immediately notice a false and forced smile and are unlikely to want to continue sincere communication. If you pretend to be someone you are not, the groom's parents will remember your image as ridiculous and ridiculous. Don't overdo it in trying to please your loved one's family members.
Don't worry
Meeting strangers always causes excitement. Prepare yourself mentally in advance so that you can remain calm while meeting your loved one’s parents. Before the meeting, it is recommended to relax and tune in to positive emotions. If you are a little nervous, this will give the impression of a modest girl, but due to strong feelings, the acquaintance can take place in a tense atmosphere.
Refrain from excessive expression of feelings
When you see the groom’s parents, you shouldn’t immediately show feelings and kiss them on the cheek. Refrain from unnecessary displays of emotion in the form of tight hugs. You can show a positive impression from the first meeting with a sincere smile, showing a modest character. This will be enough for the first acquaintance. The groom's parents are not yet close people to you; first you need to get used to each other.
Dating etiquette rules
The planned meeting with the groom's parents will go well if you adhere to general etiquette standards. Following simple rules will help create the impression of a modest, decent girl who will become an ideal wife for their son in the future. Politeness, attentiveness, punctuality, and the calm nature of the bride will become fundamental criteria for parents when drawing up a general impression of you.
Don't be late
The planned meeting with parents must begin strictly at the agreed time. Being late may be regarded by the groom's family as disrespect, and your reputation will immediately be damaged. When meeting for the first time, be sure to be punctual and do not make your chosen one’s parents wait for you even ten minutes. The potential bride of their son is recommended to come to visit 10-15 minutes before the appointed time.
If the groom's family lives on the other side of the city, then plan your affairs so that you are in time for the start of the acquaintance. Ask the groom to meet you, and then you can come to your parents together. This will help you avoid awkwardness at the first meeting and start dating without anxiety. If being late could not be avoided, then sincerely apologize to your parents, telling the true reason for the delay.
Address parents by first and last name
To avoid making mistakes when you first meet, address the groom's parents by name and patronymic. Find out in advance the names of your chosen one’s relatives, brothers, and sisters. To avoid forgetting or confusing anything, write down the names in a notebook. Ask the groom how his parents address their grandparents. Perhaps the family has special traditions of communication between relatives. Some brides, without permission, begin to switch to “you” or use “mom” and “dad”. The groom's parents themselves will say when they are ready for such treatment.
Have proper table manners
Traditional acquaintance with parents usually takes place at home. The groom's mother sets the table, filling it with her treats. Ask your groom in advance if there are dishes on the menu that you do not eat. But if during the feast you had to eat unusual food, pretend to be delighted with the taste. Your future mother-in-law may consider it an insult if you criticize her treats. You can inspire confidence in the groom’s mother by asking for the recipe of the dish and saying sincere words about her culinary talent. Follow the basic rules of table manners:
- Keep your back straight, do not lean on the back of a chair or sofa.
- Do not pile food onto your plate. If you like the dish, ask for more.
- Don't talk with your mouth full. Swallow your food first, and then you can carry on a conversation.
- Don't reach across the table for the dish. Ask the groom to serve you a plate of your favorite food.
- Don't be the first to leave the table, but wait until everyone has finished eating. During the entire feast, the groom's parents carefully watch you and draw conclusions about how well-mannered and cultured you are.
Don't stay too long
The duration of the first meeting with your loved one’s family may depend on many factors. If immediately after meeting the groom’s parents you are invited to the table, then the meal together will last no more than an hour. For the first meeting, this will be enough time to get to know each other. In order not to tire your parents with your presence, do not spend too long visiting. At the end of the meeting, thank the groom's family for the wonderful welcome.
If the parents of your chosen one live in another city, then discuss in advance with your beloved about where you will spend the night. Ask the groom to warn his family that after the first meeting the bride will stay until the morning. But take into account the traditions of the family, and how they feel about the fact that the newlyweds will sleep together before the wedding. On the day of the meeting, behave as modestly as possible.
What to give to the groom's parents when they meet?
Getting to know your beloved's parents should begin with a smile, a greeting and a small gift. Ask your loved one what kind of cookies, chocolate or cake his family likes. Buy these sweets in beautiful packaging and present them at your first meeting. To make the presented gift a proof of your culinary abilities, you can prepare your own confectionery masterpiece.
If the meeting is planned for the evening, find out what wine the parents prefer. A bottle of red Merlot will be a great addition to the treats on the table. It is recommended to refrain from giving gifts in the form of highly fortified drinks at the first meeting. If the groom warned that his father collects cognac, then in this case one bottle would be appropriate. You should refrain from presenting the following surprises:
- The groom's mother should not be given cosmetics, perfumes or underwear on the first day of meeting her. It will look uncivilized and unethical. For example, an anti-aging cream will be seen as an opportunity to point out her shortcomings.
- You can't give very expensive gifts. Such a surprise can make the groom's parents feel a sense of responsibility and duty.
- Do not give pets as gifts when meeting someone. Not everyone has a positive attitude towards having a dog or cat in the apartment. But if you know for sure that the chosen one’s family dreams of a pet, in this case such a gift would be appropriate.
- You cannot give your father-in-law a tie or shirt. According to the rules of etiquette, such a gift can be presented by the closest people.
Start your first acquaintance with the groom's mother with a bouquet of her favorite flowers, which you can give yourself or entrust to your chosen one. Such a surprise will create a pleasant impression of their son's bride. If the acquaintance takes place on a holiday, time your gift to coincide with this celebration. And remember, it doesn’t matter what gift you give to the groom’s parents at the first meeting, the main thing is that the surprise is sincere and given with love.
Sources:
https://sunmag.me/svadby/znakomstvo-roditelej-zheniha-i-nevesty.html https://womee.ru/znakomstvo-s-roditelyami-nevesty/ https://svadbavo.ru/journal/do-svadby /pomolvka/znakomstvo-s-roditelyami-zhenikha/