Relationships with a man younger than you: Why he no longer appreciates you and how to change it

Lots of great sex

If a younger man chooses you, you can be sure that he thinks you are very hot. This means the sex will be hot and passionate. Even science speaks in favor of this argument: the peak of sexual activity in men occurs at the age of 21-25, in women - immediately after 30. So an older lady and a younger guy are ideal for each other in bed.

Plus his psychological attitude towards sex. He perceives you as more experienced (even if in fact you are not) and is willing to listen to you and adapt to you.

No hard thinking about prospects

An affair with a younger man is subconsciously perceived as something frivolous. And it will be very pleasant to feel this unbearable lightness of being: not to think whether you have a future, and not to wonder what your prospects are.

And the best part is that the prospect is wow. Many strong, happy couples where the man is younger are proof of this. So never show your young companion disdain or look down on him.

13 reasons to date a man who is younger was last modified: September 22, 2021 by Anna Bulatova

Relationships with a man younger than you: Why he no longer appreciates you and how to change it

The beginning of such relationships is much more pleasant than dating with peers...

A woman finally gets what her soul has been missing for a long time. Compliments, sincere admiration (at least, she is sure of it). A respectful, even emphatically gentlemanly attitude towards oneself. Her opinion is important, her thoughts are interesting, her whims are ready to be indulged from time to time.

You can remember yourself as young and frivolous. Bathing in completely forgotten emotions, laughing for no reason, not being afraid to lose your face or “tarnish your reputation.” She sees that she is adored... and even in the depths of her soul she feels, to be honest, a slight feeling of superiority...

It seems that the situation is completely controlled by her, completely under her control. She did not seriously follow his advances. No, of course, she did not fall for his simple-minded compliments. It’s just so nice, it’s been so long since anyone said these words with such sincere admiration. I really want to stay in this for a while, to feel like an interesting and important woman for him.

What does a woman think about next to such a man, even if he is young, not as experienced in life, not as successful as her?...

... “Hmm, this young, smiling, handsome guy chose me over the 20-year-old fidgety ones, and he also tirelessly tells me why I’m better than all of them. Damn nice! And he’s okay... Yes, he’s not ideal, but he’s definitely better than my peers - he knows how to treat a lady. Okay, why not tell him “Yes”, and then we’ll see. I'll just play with it a little. I will always have time to get out of this game. He is so sweet, so naive sometimes...”

Approximately such thoughts spin in a circle in the lady’s head until an unexpected turn comes...

I would even say a “police turn” in the relationship, without hints, abruptly and 180 degrees.

There are caustic remarks, pursed lips and significant pauses from the man. Conversations like “you won’t give me a child” begin and then end immediately, with a long, almost Moscow Art Theater pause. Comparison with others begins, and always in favor of others, even not the best. Dissatisfaction with something that just yesterday caused affection and was rewarded with a compliment.

In short, such an icy shower without warning or reason.

Wanting to return to the former idyll in a relationship, women begin to give in, give in, give in... until they suddenly realize that it is ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE him!

This is true - not real, without chances and options. Because the reason for his dissatisfaction is not at all a couple of extra pounds on you, and certainly not that he “unexpectedly” discovered that you, it turns out (!), are older than him.

The point is completely different.

Is it possible to improve the situation? - Can.

I cannot guarantee that a man will again begin to swear his love from morning to night (it all depends on his true motives, which I will discuss below). But you can be sure that from such a decision you, as a woman, will be 100% satisfied and will be in a better position than now.

I’ll say right away that I won’t give out any “magic phrases.” Techniques like “tell him this and he’ll come back…”, “tell him this and he’ll become silky” - simply won’t help here.

This is all pampering for the naive and stupid, who cannot connect two thoughts and are looking for a “recipe for winning hearts.” They believe that ready-made “stamps” can save them. Although in fact, these same “clichéd phrases” only give men the signal “any noodle will work here!”

But we got a little distracted...

After a “180-degree turn” has occurred in a relationship, words, in principle, don’t solve much (you’ll see why below).

The only thing that can change the situation is the behavior of the woman herself and her attitude towards herself. We ourselves give our man an example of how to treat us. Again, we are not talking about “performances” in front of a man. It won't help and he won't believe it. Here your essence and your behavior must change.

How to do this? – 5 simple steps will help you:

1. Understanding WHAT he “hooked” you and why there was no one better than him
2. Understanding WHY you yourself entered into this relationship (and what is still keeping you there)
3. Understanding WHAT exactly his personal interest is (it was also not by chance that he chose a woman older than himself)
4. Decide
5. ACT

The first three steps are the easiest.

We will analyze them in detail below in the article.

But with steps 4 and 5 (decide and act) there are usually problems.

The point is that you HAVE ALREADY made the best decision for yourself and are now enjoying the fruits of it. Yes, yes, the Best. We never choose the worst available

options. We always choose the best possible. The problem is that the choice at that moment can be quite meager.

We can evaluate possible options, our proposals and our assets in “gray, dull tones.” To greatly underestimate what we actually have, and to settle for “anyhow”, passing it off as “wow!”

In 99% of cases, when a woman finds herself in the situation of “I am not appreciated,” “not recognized,” “not respected,” she greatly underestimates herself.

Want a quick test of value? Then answer this question:

“What is important and valuable about you to a man, besides sex, housing, status, cooking, cleaning, financial assistance (if you help him)?”

If nothing interesting comes to mind yet, read on. In the third block, you will understand why banal answers (sex, etc.) for such a man lose their value in a relationship. Well, below we’ll look at where to find this uniqueness of yours, which will attract men like a magnet. And mind you - not some runts and weaklings, but very worthy and attractive to you.

But let's take it in order:
What is important to UNDERSTAND
in order to change the situation

Let's be honest. Let's start with you:

1. WHAT did he hook you with?

Most likely, you look much younger than your age.

If you are at least 38 and have achieved something in your career/business, you are definitely not looking for a “daddy”. Well, why do you need a bald/gray-haired, potbellied, lazy tyrant like that... that’s not why you spent so many years investing and achieving, working on yourself, so that now you can become your “girlfriend” with such “Karabas-Barabas”.

You are looking for your equal, right?

The same fit, stately, strong, active, ambitious, man full of life. With which you can enjoy your excellent shape and enjoy this very life. Moreover, you correspond to him. Your trump card is activity, slimness, and a preserved youthful appearance. And as a bonus - life wisdom and experience.

But that's the rub.

If a man of your age is fit, active, youthful and has money, a “HAREM” will run after him. Young ladies, starting from the age of 19, recklessly and shamelessly flirt with him, make eyes at him, hang on his neck, run to him on dates. Let's be honest, if we compare, beauty and youth at 19 are much fresher than at 38+, more accommodating and a little more naive.

Therefore, if we compare only age

- he will choose a 19-year-old, well, 25-year-old, maybe. But he won’t ask his peer out on a date. He can start a business with her, but most often he will go on a date with young, naive chirps.

At this very moment, the young lady, who is now 38+, should take my workshop “Evaluate your assets”

and figure out what
else is
valuable in it for men. I am 1,000,000% sure that it will turn out - not only “I look young” and “slim”. And not even her salary, position or status. Don’t be surprised that salary and status don’t impress men either (if the status is high, he will still have to prove to you that he is “also worth something,” but with a young woman you can be “God” without all this!)

But we have deviated slightly from the topic...

So, men of the same age usually reject women whose main trump card is “I look younger than my age.” Simply because they compare them not with other 38-year-old women, but with students and young secretaries. And the comparison parameters are not at all objective - they are obviously disadvantageous for peers. It is almost impossible for a woman aged 38+ to win under such conditions - this competition is not for her. (You shouldn’t be upset - a man just needs to somehow justify his choice without losing himself on the love market)

I think that after the 1,2,3...10th unsuccessful romance with peers, you, as a woman, “I look younger than my age,” have little enthusiasm left...

But then, HE suddenly appears in your field of vision.

With eyes burning with love and delight, ready to do anything for your sake... he turns away from the young and persistent, catches your every glance, smile, word... next to him, so much energy and interest in life appears in you...

Will some kind of “age” become an obstacle to your flaring feelings?

1. WHY did you get into this relationship?

It seems that he will never betray.

And not just because he promises you this. And he tells how he dreams of cooking you breakfast, waking you up with a kiss, falling asleep in an embrace...

No…

If a woman has had a couple of unsuccessful romances before, she begins to think “I can cope with a young man.” There is a feeling that it will be possible to control him and his feelings, predict where the problems will be between them and “spread the straw.” That in such a relationship she will definitely be more reliable, calmer and definitely more “predictable”. That she is wiser and sees further, that she has experience and can handle it.

This is why women go into such relationships. In order to contrast with the “unsuccessful past” to gain confidence, stability, and fidelity.

And even when everything begins to collapse, hope in their souls is the last to die. Therefore, in attempts to return to the past, when everything begins to unravel like a torn blanket, not very rash steps are taken (but more on that below).

1. WHAT is his interest?

Oh, it’s no coincidence that he fell in love with you... No matter how much you want to deny it, it’s true.

Most likely, his ex, or exes, was also older than him. And this is where all the fun about him just begins.

As a child, your man most likely was not spoiled by the attention and interest of girls his age. They either didn’t want to communicate with him at all (he was thin, small, shy, frail, with glasses) ... or he himself could not communicate with them (he was uptight, shy, did not shine with charm, was busy with studies, music, or family circumstances did not allow ). But he spent a lot of time surrounded by his mother’s peers and communicated mainly with them.

Since childhood, he knew about all the “vulnerable places”, aspirations and desires of adult women. And it is quite possible that, to the best of his ability, he has learned to slightly manipulate them, escaping their annoying attention or, conversely, receiving it at will.

His first love, a peer, turned out to be a flighty dummy, she rejected his feelings for the sake of a pretty high school student. Not only that, but she also talked to the other girls about his feelings and they all mocked him together.

It is highly likely that his first sexual experience was also with a much older woman. In sex, alas, he was only a tool...

He has matured, but he does not have successful experience communicating with women of his age. But there is anger and resentment towards them for ridicule. And, of course, there is a wealth of experience communicating with older women.

That’s why it’s so easy for him to communicate with women 38+. Therefore, he guesses their desires, says the right words at the right moment, or remains silent. That’s why from the first minutes of communication he seems “so understanding and dear.” Therefore, he is sincere in his disdain for the “young fools.”

So why does he run away from a relationship with an older woman?!

After all, it would seem that everything is working out so perfectly. He got what he was used to, and you are happy too.

And another question - why, the further into the relationship, the less he values ​​“sex, status” and everything else that you do for him? I promised to talk about this at the beginning of the article.

It's simple - he's FULL of food.

“I was full” of what I lacked - attention, recognition of my importance, increasing the level and skills of communication with a woman. That hole that he had (due to rejection, ridicule, lack of experience) closed. Well, or at least temporarily closed.

Moreover, in relationships, women often begin to “ennoble” their young men. Dress him so that he wouldn’t be ashamed to “go out in public” with him. They find them decent, promising jobs. Stimulates development and learning. They help financially. The chick grows feathers and spreads its tail.

And those “girls” who previously neglected him now look at him with burning eyes. For them he is no longer a “trash”, he is now a “tasty morsel”. And he has the opportunity to “take revenge”, he feels it and really wants to take revenge.

Moreover, by the time disagreements and “friction” begin in your relationship, he has already completely exhausted his limit of skills in building them. He knows how to arouse interest, hold it, draw a woman into his game, start a relationship and EVERYTHING! He doesn’t have the skills to build relationships - he doesn’t have enough brains for the “long game.” While he is only capable of “short distances,” he does not know how to “withstand” an adult woman nearby and be equal to her.

But he knows how to manipulate... And that is why she becomes “to blame for everything” from a certain moment. And those same “young bitches”, peers of his first unsuccessful love, become attractive objects for him. Because for a woman 38+, he is a boy whom she allowed to bask in her life, and for young women, he is a TASTE.

I think the picture is becoming clear.

We could go on and on about the behavior of such men, but this article is about YOU and for YOU.

So let's briefly summarize,

Why did you need all this information:

— If you take his criticism, jokes, devaluations to heart - DON’T! This is not addressed to you personally, but to all the women with whom things “didn’t work out” for him.

— If it hurts you to hear his nagging and caustic remarks, regrets about the inability to have children together - THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU! He just doesn’t know any other way to honestly talk about the fact that he has exhausted himself in your relationship and has nothing more to invest in it. That he wants to leave and this is the only way he knows to end the relationship.

— If you experience his betrayal for a long time and very personally - STOP. You may have already noticed that this only makes you look worse (and feel worse). You have done NOTHING to deserve to be treated this way and feel this way. Such relationships always end this way (if they are not managed!).

— If you started to give in to his criticism and claims in the hope of returning your former love - STOP. If he criticizes, then he has already “let his tail down” and believes that he got everything he could get from you (remember, such men are used to only taking from older women). Any concessions show him your desperate situation and encourage him to behave even worse in order to break free.

Is it possible to change the situation? –

It is possible if the relationship is managed. This is exactly what we will talk about further. We figured out what you needed to understand about such relationships.

Now it's time to Decide...

1. Decide.

Whether you like it or not, you have to choose:

• Are you and him on the same path?
• Or maybe it's time to end all this?

Almost all women who find themselves in a similar situation choose the option “I want to try to restore the relationship.”

OK no problem.

Just remember that you have the right to change your choice at any time. Well, for now we can work with him.

And one more disclaimer. If a man is already cheating, demanding money, if there is violence, drive him in the neck, not letting your pity run rampant. You won’t get anything good, much less gratitude, from him, no matter how hard you try.

Any concessions you make in such a situation will turn against you. Because each subsequent instance of his unworthy behavior will be even more rude, cruel and disdainful towards you.

And this will not happen because you have given in too little to him or are demanding too much from him. Not because you are trying too hard to control his need for freedom or for some other reason that he will tell you about.

In situations like this, here's what you need to remember...

His disrespectful, cruel behavior is a reflection of his internal rejection of you and your relationship with him. Nothing holds him in them anymore. And trying to “save your relationship”, you are trying to hold back the wind... and only aggravate your suffering.

Is it worth your effort?

1. Act

I wrote above that you will have to change your behavior. It will not work to remain the same as you were at the beginning of the relationship and get a different result.

This is what I meant when I said “change”...

This man is already accustomed to “taking” from a woman. And since he lost interest in you, he is sure that he took from you everything that could be interesting to him... more precisely, he took everything from what he himself found and saw in you.

Do you remember how your relationship started?

After all, it was not you who persistently seduced and enchanted him. He himself suddenly became unexpectedly interested in you. It was he who showed initiative and interest.

If you want a continuation, now you will have to charm him yourself. Show him what else he needs, what is important, valuable and interesting. Just don’t immediately think about money or sex. You have most likely already given him enough of this.

But you shouldn’t rush to rewrite your property either (such cases have happened, so I’m warning you). As soon as the paperwork is completed, he no longer needs you at all. He already has everything.

So what are we talking about?

About those qualities, skills, and life experiences that you definitely have. And they, too, are so necessary and useful to him in achieving his life goals.

Just don’t rush to stuff him with all this wealth like a child with semolina. He won't help or appreciate it.

You yourself first need to “sort through” your wealth, evaluate your assets at their true worth and determine what is really important and valuable. What treasures have you tucked into the far corner and now is the time to get them out.

I am 99.99999% sure that you have a wagon and a small cart of such unaccounted for treasures.

Would you like me to help you dig them up? – The workshop “ Assess your assets ” was created just for this. Well, below I’ll briefly go through the steps on how to do this.

Here's another important note.

Treasures will only work for you (and to keep a man) if

you yourself will believe in them, consider them significant. If you yourself begin to appreciate them. It won’t work without this, and besides, it will give you a nice bonus...

You will “unexpectedly” notice that men your age will “suddenly” become actively interested in you.

Yes, yes, the same ones who previously only looked at the young. After all, something more will appear in you than “I look young,” something that young people cannot give them even if they want.

By the way, these are exactly those men who DO NOT just want to take you and look at you with devoted eyes in response (as a younger man does). These men are ready to change, cooperate, help, support and be grateful.

That is why I said “you can change your decision at any time.” You can decide not to fight for this relationship, but to look around. Well, when you appreciate yourself, believe me, you will have something and someone to look at.

Well, now, as promised, we’ll figure out how to find your value and appreciate your assets.

The very essence...

So, how can you re-evaluate YOUR ASSETS and find your HIDDEN WEALTH (and you definitely have them, I know what I’m saying!).

The longer we sit in some role, the less, alas, we notice and appreciate our wealth. We adapt to being a director, mother, wife and gradually push into the background everything “extra” that can distract from the “main” role.

We work more actively on those qualities and areas that give us results in this particular role. Such concentration, fuck-tibidoh-tibidah And we completely forget about those qualities, characteristics and hobbies of ours that do not bring any benefit or distract from the main role.

This is how we become better, more experienced, more efficient. It was in this role that was chosen as the main one.

It’s as if we chose our right arm or left leg and let’s pump it as hard as we can. Can you imagine this picture?

And the further we go, the more we become somehow strange - boring, predictable, stubborn and ossified (only we know how to do it, we are ready to walk only proven roads, we optimize everything and throw away distractions - we shake one leg as stupidly as we can, and let the other resting).

But when the external situation, beyond our control, changes (and it always changes, no matter how hard we try to freeze it). When other preferences appear among those around us (loved ones, colleagues, bosses). At these moments, we suddenly “do not fit in” with these talents of ours, brought to almost perfection.

We, with our perfectly developed “square” qualities, do not fit into the new “round” hole of the expectations of our environment.

What to hide, by this time we become uninteresting to ourselves and we are bored of being alone with ourselves (all for the same reason - everything is familiar to the point of hiccups and has already been tried 100 times - tired!).

This is why it is so important to “revalue your assets” from time to time. Well, if external circumstances are pushing you towards this, then for sure, it’s “high time.”

So let's start re-evaluating.

This process also has its own sequence of steps. We did them in 2 weeks in the workshop “Evaluate your assets”

We go through it thoroughly and thoroughly.

I'll go through them briefly here:

Well, so that you don’t lose your passion for action,

I'll give you a little motivational kick...

I’ll tell you another not very pleasant feature of a relationship with a younger man...

As soon as these men have received what they deserve from a woman and no longer see the need for her, they throw her off like ballast. Without taking into account the feelings of the “ballast”, how she will be next or how she feels. They just get rid of it. Quite hard, quickly, often also squeezing something out for myself at the end.

When a woman is 40+, it is not easy to cope with such a blow. So much hope and energy was put into the relationship. And when the one they adore multiplies everything invested by zero, it hurts self-esteem, attitude towards oneself, and outlook on life. Many begin to fail in all areas (from work to appearance) at a catastrophic rate.

Therefore, do not expect it to resolve “by itself.” Or “love will conquer all.” You won't like how it will be resolved.

I have counseled many women after such relationships and I know exactly what I am talking about. The stages of “dumping the ballast” hit them so hard that some lived as if frozen for 5, some 7, and some even 10 years. Turning away from peace, joy and ourselves, giving up desires and plans for the future. And only then we decided to come to consultations, change something, revive.

Don't take it to extremes. Think about yourself.

If a man has already begun to criticize and devalue, then he is sure that he has nothing much to lose here. And that you need him more than he needs you. He definitely has more interesting plans for the future, into which you do not fit in with your feelings, status or attractiveness.

Isn’t this the kind of attitude you dreamed of when it all began?

Maybe it's time to pull yourself together and put things in order in your life?

Moreover, your actions will bring you pleasant changes not only in love. (After all, you also began to lose interest in work, travel, and hobbies, and you don’t see any interesting prospects, right? The roots of all this are the same.)

Whether you like it or not, but...

A WOMAN IS INTERESTING TO MEN MOST WHEN SHE IS INTERESTING IN HERSELF. It is this attitude towards oneself that becomes the turning point, with the bark all the incredible, at first glance, stories about happiness begin.

Moreover, any woman wants to feel, if not a Queen, then at least the Mistress of her life. Queens and Mistresses always keep track of their wealth and know its value. And my workshop will only help you do this as easily as possible and with great benefit for yourself.

Workshop “Assess your assets”

you will find it here –
https://ladnaya-ya.ru/activy
Write your questions in the comments. Evaluate assets in a workshop. Come to consultations for personal support and assistance.

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