Find out everything about him
Next you need to do some reconnaissance: study the man of your dreams. His interests, behavioral characteristics, goals and aspirations in life are important. It makes sense to read articles on male psychology to understand what he wants from life. For example, a man who is a father is characterized by a desire to control everything, to subjugate himself, but also to patronize and care for his chosen one. But the man-son, on the contrary, is proud, selfish, spoiled and does not mind a woman taking care of him and feeling sorry for him. Having understood who is in front of you, develop tactics and strategies for winning the male mind and heart.
Is the game worth the candle?
Many women make the mistake of starting their fight for the attention of a bachelor. Not paying attention to the fact that he is no longer 20 years old, but he is still single, they fall into the trap of believing that he has not found his soul mate only because he has not met an interesting enough woman.
In addition, often, in this case, a woman becomes excited, forcing her to join in the fight for the attention of a bachelor with special force. It's like a competition - she must beat everyone, because, without a doubt, she is the most worthy!
Reasoning this way, many may subsequently experience disappointment and regret their time and efforts.
According to psychologists, if a man is over 30 and still single, then you should think more than once before trying to win his heart. Surely, there are some hidden reasons for his loneliness, which at first glance may not be obvious at all.
Let's look at the main types of bachelors, the reasons why they don't seek long-term relationships, and possible steps to tame each type.
Don't compost his brain
There is no need to force the relationship. From meeting to meeting, your image will be imprinted in the man’s mind - your smile, your gaze, your gait, your intonation. Men really value a woman’s smile, good mood, and ability to rejoice. On the contrary, increased demands and autumn mood are not very conducive.
Men do not like overly active women who offer themselves. Almost all representatives of the stronger sex are hunters by nature who try to catch game. The hunter must be sure that he is choosing, and not him. You will inflame the passions in your “hunter” even more if he thinks that he is not the only one interested in you. Perhaps you can persuade one of your male friends to play along with you and pretend that he is very interested in you. Create a competitive situation from which your chosen one will certainly emerge victorious. A man wants to choose the best woman. Make him think he is.
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More details
Modern realities have increasingly begun to give rise to such a phenomenon as the inveterate bachelor. This may be due to the fact that a man spends most of his life at work, earning good money and building a career, or a man from a wealthy family and he spends all his time in pleasure and entertainment. Maybe he just hasn’t met that girl yet who can captivate him so much that he’s ready to start a family. Maybe he has a complex and doesn’t know how to communicate with women. The reasons are different, but the result is the same - a confirmed bachelor. Many probably watched the reality show The Bachelor on TNT and saw what tricks the girls went to in order to win the heart of the bachelor. By the way, if you want to watch the Bachelor show on TNT season 3, then we recommend that you visit the website holostyaktnt.com, which contains all the seasons of the Bachelor show. However, despite the external aloofness, any bachelor wants feminine warmth, family comfort and simple family joys. Therefore, you can conquer him and build a strong, happy family with him. Women should not be overly zealous in winning the heart of such a bachelor. You need to be wise and patient. Firstly, a bachelor has developed a certain lifestyle, a range of habits and a manner of behavior. You cannot invade their world with your own rules and foundations, especially with a crushing desire to change and turn everything upside down. By doing this you will only scare the man away and he will hide even more in his armor. Secondly, a woman should not perceive herself as a gift from heaven to a bachelor. To think that by preparing him a home-cooked meal and cleaning his bachelor pad, you will become a full-fledged hostess in his life. No, you need to patiently and very carefully conquer the space of a bachelor, without creating a threat to him of losing his freedom. Your communication should be measured. Give the man time to get used to the changes taking place. And he himself will offer you a life together. Thirdly, become a friend for a man. Learn to share his point of view on what is happening, accept his friends, find topics and jokes that will only be yours, without losing your own individuality. Fourth, give up the role of conqueror. Give a man the opportunity to conquer you. Be feminine and gentle, dreamy and emotional. But everything should be in moderation. Excessive sentimentality will be annoying. Fifth, remain a mystery to a man. Do not reveal the secrets of your beauty and grooming. Let the man not see how much effort you make to maintain your attractiveness. Sixth, create an atmosphere of comfort and stability around the man, but from time to time shake him up with bursts of emotions and new impressions. Most importantly, a man, like a woman, wants to love and be loved. Love and mutual respect are the main ways to conquer any person.
HE IS AFRAID OF MAKING A MISTAKE AGAIN
If your bachelor has already been married and suffered the unenviable fate of a difficult and painful divorce, then in the near future he is clearly not going to tie the knot again with a potential heartbreaker. Marrying such a man is not an easy task, but you remember that nothing is impossible.
What to do? Be patient. If the breakup was really difficult, then your task, first of all, is not to put pressure on your lover and give him time to re-adjust to a serious relationship with far-reaching plans. Become a true friend for him, the person he needs. But don’t go too far: it’s one thing to take care of your man, but quite another to become an obsessive “molester” and fill his whole life with yourself. Eventually (if you do everything right) he will realize that you are the woman he wants to marry, regardless of bad past experiences.
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There are two types of bachelor life: when they don’t want to and when they can’t. The difference is fundamental. In the first case, the man consciously becomes a member of the so-called OBB club, which means “Society Without Women.” Of course, we are talking only about serious relationships: sex without obligations is only welcomed by the community.
In the second case, a bachelor has a natural desire to start a family and engage in procreation. He complains about fate, they say, I’m already over it, but I’m still in free swimming.
A bachelor is the same child, only he finds himself outside the care of his parents. Of course, he misses the borscht on the stove and the charlotte in the refrigerator, and after wild parties he keeps waking up for work, but he is free as the wind. We are talking about freedom in all its manifestations: from freedom of speech to freedom of action and body. Bachelors enjoy the fact that they don't owe anyone anything. A bachelor can come home at any time or not come at all. He can bring friends (or even girlfriends) in any quantity. He is free to do everything that his parents did not allow, and, even more so, his wife will never allow. A single man, unlike a married man, always has the opportunity to be alone without explaining to anyone why he wants it right now.
Single life frees you from answering numerous women’s questions: why didn’t you call, why didn’t you put your socks in the closet, why are you so late and many other “whys”.
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The second group of bachelors are inveterate romantics. They are looking for their one and only, and sometimes the process takes almost their entire life. The result, by the way, may not be so successful, despite the efforts expended. Such men do not throw noisy parties at home and do not get drunk every day at the bar. They are used to putting their socks on shelves and ironing their shirts. After all, they are the perfect princes in search of their princess.
But women, by the law of meanness, like bad guys. And it may well be that an ironing board displayed in the middle of the room will surprise a potential lover more than a mess in the kitchen.
How to ring a confirmed bachelor
ENVIABLE GROOM
A cheerful playboy with off-scale levels of testosterone and joy hormones lives his life with gusto and earns a lot. He loves women so much that he is unable to choose just one. Habitat: mainly in women's fantasies and action-packed comedies. In reality, he is represented by the media image of Mikhail Prokhorov. (Hardly anyone knows who this Mikhail Prokhorov really is.)
If you go to any nightclub on a Friday night, it will seem as if at least half of the audience consists of these individuals. Free, liberated middle-aged men, wasting money and watching every beauty with a burning gaze. But in fact, the game of a contented and temporarily single citizen of a great country is one of the most favorite among our men. In fact, most of them turn out to be ordinary married people.
But even if he is single, it’s too early to rejoice. As a rule, such men are simply stuck in the role of eligible bachelors. They like to be a guy of marriageable age. What if not a heavenly life? Everyone around you introduces you to your best friends, younger sisters, and simply gorgeous girls look at you more seriously and with hope. On the one hand, the guy understands that his bachelor image is a reliable hook for women. On the other hand, I’m not sure that he can do anything else to hold him back. Deep down he is afraid of being abandoned and deceived. Therefore, he throws and deceives first.
“He just has a very strong dominant mother figure.” No girl can compete with her,” says family psychotherapist Adeliya Mizitova.
How to behave with him: demonstrate absolutely the same attitude towards life. Typically, guys who get stuck with suitors end up getting stuck with the same type of girl. A striking example: one friend, who at 34 had never been married and had no plans, led a wild, crazy lifestyle and fell in love solely with the size of her boyfriend’s bank account. “I,” he says, “even at the age of 80 will be on the dance floor in a miniskirt!” But for two years now, unexpectedly, she has been in a relationship. The guy is a little younger and exactly the same as her. Both broke down on what they had taken the others so far. Just the novel “The Womanizer and the Twist” online. They quarrel, make peace, cheat, are so jealous that pieces fly, but they cannot live without each other. He had already proposed to her several times, something that had never happened to him before. And she seems to be ready. Provided that “he will not change.”
Can former playboys make good husbands? They can. And what other ones! After all, he's already had a good time. He chose for so long that when he finally makes his final choice, he will be faithful to him. In this sense, the older the “enviable” groom, the greater the chance of getting a normal husband.
Chances of ringing him: 50%.
MAN-BRAIN
This type of bachelor simply does not have time for his personal life. All his energy is aimed at solving global problems. “I think, therefore I exist,” said the man-brain Rene Descartes, the great mathematician, physicist, philosopher of the 17th century, founder of analytical geometry, algebraic symbolism and much more. (What is important is not life, but existence. - Ed.) The main priority is to think. Although Descartes had one lady, from the lower strata of society, a laugher and a cook, she came to him and lived with him for eight years. But then he left on more important matters, disappeared, and the romance did not end in anything serious.
There are men who are able to combine both social achievements and family life. But these ones are not capable. That’s why they also look like no normal woman would want to marry them. Even such a thought does not arise at the sight of this intelligent, educated and diversified person.
- All men assert themselves. This is normal,” says our consultant Adeliya Mizitova. “Everyone just chooses their own ways.” Some people, for example, believe that he is driving progress.
Well, yes, Sigmund Freud, who wanted to make all of humanity happy, never thought about his personal happiness. And when he was already recognized throughout the world, at the end of his life, as legend says, he sat in his office among his books and felt terribly lonely. Which he sadly told his aunt. And she, sighing, replied: “Eh, Ziggy, you just don’t understand people at all!”
How to behave with him: you need to behave calmly with mysterious men like Perelman and Wasserman. Quote Nietzsche, but very succinctly and to the point, but it’s better to remain silent. They are used to talking themselves. And that’s why it’s better to just listen to them and look at them with such understanding female eyes, like a forest deer. They are afraid of feelings, so there is no need to express them in particular.
Chances of ringing him: 70%.
BOBYL IS SHY
That's who you should be hunting for! This will make the best husband. Because even when he’s single, he lives like a husband—he doesn’t go wild, he works diligently and puts his salary in the locker. It’s just that there is no wife yet for the sole reason that the male does not know how to meet people, look after him, or express his feelings. Perhaps there was some kind of unsuccessful attempt. And since then he has been waiting for everything to somehow resolve itself.
However, there is also a subspecies of the “lazy bean”. These are the Ilya Murom residents who want nothing more than to lie on the couch and click on the TV remote control. It is likely that at the age of 33 he will get up from his stove. Then you can talk to him about something serious like family and marriage.
How to behave with him: there are known cases when a woman simply came to the boy’s house silently and began to cook food there. And so they became husband and wife, and lived in love and harmony, and died on the same day.
Chances of ringing him: 90%.
MARRIED BACHELOR
There are also such beauties. They seem to be officially married, but at heart they feel like bachelors. They explain to everyone who is curious that they got married because they had to, but have not yet met true love. And they are looking for her. Or they don't look. But if they do find it, they begin to fool everyone. And the rightful half. And to your new beloved half. And myself at the same time.
Some don't even imitate the search for a soul mate. They are looking for someone to sleep with and satisfy their male ego. They, in defiance of Descartes, have a different priority: “As long as I sleep with different women, I exist.”
This does not prevent a married bachelor from being a good husband. He is generally an obedient guy. He is diligent in everyday life and in bed he works hard. This is facilitated by the feeling of guilt that inevitably develops in unfaithful husbands.
Is it worth getting into a relationship with someone like this? If only there is not enough pepper in life. It is almost impossible to take married bachelors away from their families. Why create something that already exists. There is one wife, but there are many women. There were still not enough wives to produce.
How to behave with him: make friends, communicate, argue about gender relations, they love it. But under no circumstances should you enter into a serious relationship for one night.
Chances of ringing him: 3%
ANOTHER OPINION
Victor HASHPAR, psychologist, astrologer, founder of the site https://www.lovesecret.ru/:
“Those who have damage in the House of Marriage do not marry”
— The reasons why a person does not marry can be seen by examining a person’s natal astrological chart (calculated by an astrologer, it shows how the planets were located at the time of birth, and they determine the whole life). These are damages in the so-called astrological House of Marriage. Here's how they appear:
1. Nobody loves a person. There are everyone's favorites, and there are especially repulsive individuals. The second group often turns out to be bachelors. If a bachelor wants to leave this group, he can begin to develop his spiritual potential.
2. A person cannot love anyone. This manifests itself in very weak energy in the area of the heart (heart chakra). To eliminate such a congenital defect, visualization of bright light in the chest area is necessary. This technique is widely used in many religions - Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism - to develop the ability to love other people. Class time is about 15 minutes daily.
3. A person lacks a stability factor. This feature is characteristic of many men, but in extreme cases a person realizes that he cannot be with anyone for a long time, and therefore does not want to commit himself. To eliminate this problem, you can use methods of calming the mind - solitude, relaxation, communication with nature, eliminating excessive information influences.
4. Strong energetic compatibility with mother or woman with whom marriage is impossible. The person does not find something better and remains single. Then you just need to more actively look for your soul mate.
But not everything is so sad. Often failure in the area of marriage turns out to be a blessing. One of my Indian astrology teachers was never married. But thanks to his single lifestyle, he conducted enormous research in astrology, wrote more than 30 books and was of great benefit to all people.
There is another category - these are spiritually highly developed people, saints, who, instead of unity with a woman, preferred unity with God. This state is known in many religions under different names: God's grace, samadhi, nirvana.
