Taking the initiative in sex is easy and simple! most young women will say. We do not live in the Middle Ages and girls have long ceased to be ashamed of their desires in bed.
However, for some it still remains a problem to inform their chosen one that sex has become somehow monotonous and it’s time to add something new to it.
It is difficult for a woman to decide on this in cases where the relationship is already established and she does not want to somehow shock or offend her partner with her unusual intimate request.
There is also a danger of suddenly appearing before your husband as too experienced and sophisticated in sexual matters. After all, this is considered not a very successful image of an ideal wife.
Initiative in sex just say
The sexual revolution has happened a long time ago, but not every woman can talk about sex so simply and without blushing. And the most difficult thing is to find the right words for this, since there will be very few “decent” ones.
This may be news to you, but most men will be happy if a woman can somehow tell her how best to please her.
No matter how experienced a man is, the female body often remains a mystery to him. Because as many women in the world as there are so many desires. So, instead of getting angry and waiting for him to figure it out on his own sooner or later, it’s better to give him a hint.
If you are afraid to speak with words, guide him with actions. During sexual foreplay, take his hand and introduce him to all your erogenous zones.
Offer sex!
Women's initiative in sex definitely turns men on! It works flawlessly if you follow the correct dosage.
But remember an important nuance. If you take all the initiative upon yourself, a logical question will arise: “He doesn’t want me?”
Bring an element of surprise and slight intrigue into your sex life, but nothing more. And don’t forget to take into account his wishes and preferences.
A little feminine cunning
Of course, it’s scary to declare your secret sexual desires right to your husband’s forehead like this. Your husband may simply not understand or appreciate your frankness. Therefore, a little feminine cunning will not hurt here.
Turn to women's (or men's) magazines for help. Find in them what interests you, and, as if jokingly, invite your husband to try what is described there. There is a 99% guarantee that he will be delighted with your offer.
For the remaining 1%, read on..
Who should take the lead in intimate life?
Most likely, the answer to this question for most of us will be - equally or alternately. Neither partner will like it if the other is indifferent, and the other turns inside out in order to please. Gone are the days when women were embarrassed to show their sexual experience, and it was considered the height of indecency to take the very first step towards intimacy with a loved one.
Showing sexual interest in your other half indicates that your partner is not indifferent to him and wants to get to know him “better.” It could also be the one who of the two has a brighter imagination or more experience. In any case, there is nothing wrong with this if two people like each other or, moreover, are in love. Perhaps this will be the one who will be in high spirits at the moment of intimacy and will come up with some new pleasant fun for the other half. Yes, and men nowadays are a little strange - they are waiting for something, afraid to take the first step. Therefore, quite often the role of instigator of intimacy falls on the female lot. The main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise it can cause some complexes in a man and then, dear ladies, you will definitely not get any initiative from him. Although most men still like to “call the shots” in bed - in the sense of choosing positions and places of intimacy.
But it also happens that the husband comes home tired and is not even averse to giving the reins of sex to his beloved. However, women sometimes also want to feel weak and seduced.
In general, it doesn’t matter who shows signs of interest in sex first, the main thing is that both partners enjoy it.
In the modern rhythm of life, when the roles of men and women have changed places, one can find initiative on the part of the weaker sex much more often than on the part of men. But do men like it? Do relationships in which the lady took the first step have a chance to develop?
Internet to help
If your husband has such puritanical views that you are not sure that he will agree to any experiments in bed, you need to prepare him.
And the World Wide Web will help you here. There is a lot of material on the Internet on any topic about sex with comments from a sexologist who will clearly explain that there is nothing forbidden or unacceptable in this.
Pretend that you came across the material by accident, “get interested” and invite your husband to watch it too. While watching, carefully ask your husband’s opinion, what he likes and what he doesn’t agree with. Express your opinion as well.
If there is no rejection on his part, suggest experimenting and trying together.
Initiative women in bed
But let’s not forget about the existence of a second camp of women. They are attractive to certain men who simply adore proactive women, especially in sex. They like the fact that their beloved takes the first step, as if recognizing her dependence on this person, and often her dependence on sex.
Such ladies act on a simple principle : “Why should I deny myself pleasure just because of some conservative beliefs about initiative? If I want a man, I talk about it here and now.” And by the way, in most cases they enjoy it. Unless they come across a man - a hunter who does not tolerate women like himself.
Think about what kind of hunter would want his prey to run unhindered towards him. After all, in this case, the most important thing is missing - the hunting ritual itself, the process itself, which gives pleasure to a man, again and again lighting the fire in his eyes. In his understanding, such a woman can become a pathetic extortionist.
Initiative in sex - open conversation
If you think that beating around the bush with hints is a waste of time, go ahead and tell your husband everything directly and frankly.
Just choose the right moment for the conversation, when you both are in a great, relaxed mood, and first convince him that you are very lucky with him in life. Tell him that you really value your relationship with him and just want to add some zest to it.
Don’t say “I don’t like such and such...”, but rather start with “I would like...”
It is quite possible that your chosen one, not expecting such a conversation, will be offended and tell you his claims in response. Without being offended, listen carefully and delve into it, because you started this conversation precisely with the goal of talking honestly with each other.
Maybe not immediately, but gradually your intimate life will change for the better. Just give your loved one time to digest the information received from you.
Women's initiative in sex: giving cannot be denied. Where's the comma?
Recently, at my training, a heated argument broke out between the girls. So much so that we had to separate it. On the topic in the title, two extreme opinions have emerged.
First.
“The female body is a temple, an abode of dignity and the main energy repository. You cannot agree to sex faster than the man proves the seriousness of his intentions. You need to delay sex, and the longer the better. Show yourself as a worthy girl, immediately set high standards. If you quickly go to bed with him, he will stop respecting you. And under no circumstances take the initiative yourself. So you’ll drag the relationship on yourself, and he won’t marry such a cheap girl.”
Second.
“It’s stupid to pretend to be a virgin if you’re not 16 years old. There are men who, if they don’t immediately blow the roof off (and how to tear it down, except hot sex), will either be half dead or go to others. It is through sex that a man falls in love. And there is nothing wrong with a woman’s initiative; on the contrary, he will be pleased that you are such a liberated and spontaneous Aphrodite. In any case, you will be more honest than these broken fools who pretend to be goddesses of purity and purity.”
In those exact words, yes. Interestingly, it is impossible to say which of them succeeded more in the field of relationships. Among the first, let’s say, supporters of modesty, there were girls, both married and with a decent amount of experience in dull “self-sufficiency” without relationships. And among the second, sexy openers, armed with tantric philosophy, there were both those stuck “in active search” and married women who, through this “sexual assault,” got married and, “nothing,” live happily.
Obviously, the rule “not to take the first step towards intimacy with a man” is a classic of the genre, like the little black dress... There is something in this, but like any rule, it has a number of subtleties, and sometimes, oh, horror, something completely works the opposite.
For me, any rule is a reason to look at the essence, and not turn off your brain and act, relying on the fact that it will make your destiny for you.
What do we see? In both the first and second cases there is bargaining. Only the former bargain, inflating their price and extorting “more guarantees” (prove that you are serious about this), while the latter generously advance, in the hope that it will be appreciated, and they will get the remote control of the relationship in their hands.
Let's add commas.
You can't give, you can't refuse. This traditional rule takes care of girls first and foremost. It, to some extent, protects you and gives you an understanding of the gender scenario of the love game. The man catches up, the woman runs away. But in order for a man to catch up and you to run away, you must be so attractive, interesting and worthy of a man’s best feelings that even your “wait” and “not now” are perceived as manna from heaven. It would be nice to see (or create) maximum interest in your personality, because there is nothing worse for a woman’s dignity than having sex with a man who has no exclusive interest in you, but simply has a penis jumping out of his pants (who would refuse if it it goes on its own). And in principle, anyone else could be in your place. The average woman, in general, needs more time to want intimacy. Since male interest moves from the lower chakras to the upper, and female interest more often moves from the upper to the lower. And this rule creates a time corridor when your interest in each other becomes mutual.
You can't give, you can't refuse. This is, rather, not a rule (if it becomes a rule, then everything is completely bad for a woman), but a tactic, if for her this is a way to show her strong sympathy for a man who looks at her with interest. But only in a controlled, conscious and responsible way. In which she will completely rely on herself. Yes, this is some kind of advance, but an advance without guarantees, but rather with a risk for which she is ready. The trick is that even in this behavior a woman can be in dignity, not bargain, not dump, but really be an Aphrodite in love, captured by the flow. Give gifts and leave behind, without raising emotional bills, without clinging to a man, but also without pretending that it all “meant nothing.”
How do you know when and where to put a comma?
You must have your own mature, responsible navigator. No one will tell you for you when it is already possible and whether it is possible to take a step towards yourself and how frankly. Remember, inflating your price with this, as well as announcing a sale, is the worst thing that can happen. What is important is not the rule itself, but the context of the situation, the personalities of the participants with whom all this is happening, the degree of emotions. This moment cannot be usurped by control, just as it cannot be completely thrown away to be devoured by the elements. Time is not a clear measure of the correctness of your steps. You cannot calculate everything 10 steps ahead and how your relationship will turn out. You can only feel how pure and transparent the situation is now.
Most women confuse their easy accessibility with high attractiveness, and even being in demand. The number of lovers does not indicate demand even once, no matter how vice versa. Just like the time you abstain from intimacy cannot clearly be a criterion for becoming loved. Often a woman’s desire to “pull” intimacy is a consequence of fears, and not of their high self-esteem. And the desire to quickly surrender is also not evidence of a hot temperament, but of a terrible hunger (not even so much for sex, but for attention), and it doesn’t matter how much the other one needs it.
The rule that “rules are made to be broken” is only suitable for those who are willing to take full responsibility for the results of their decisions and enjoy their actions.
Dignity + own interest + his interest = already possible?.. It’s up to you to decide. These are the components that you must be in good contact with when taking a step towards a man.
Mistakes you shouldn't make
There is no need to put too much pressure on a man, especially if he is older than you. Your assertiveness will simply scare him away. Disguise your initiative, push him with your actions so that he thinks that this is his decision.
A man is a conqueror by nature. He can write you hot letters on social networks, on various forums and send SMS for quite a long time and back down after receiving an offer to go on a date. So don’t be too hasty with your initiative.
Do not take initiative in everyday things and grandiose ideas. A man should think that it all comes from him.
A woman’s initiative can be important if the relationship has already moved beyond the “just
18:13 / 01 July 2017
The opinions of Novorossiysk residents differed today
